Confidence and Control
by 242megxxx
Summary: Pushed to the limit by Ethel's cutting words and Miss Hardbroom's nonchalance, Mildred begins to control the one thing she can. A guilty Hecate steps in, but needs to push past her limitations. Thankfully Pippa Pentangle knows how to bring out the best in everyone.
1. Control

**It's been such a long time since I've posted anything - and I'm almost reluctantly sharing this. This is darker than I've written before, but I promise a happy ending.**

Confidence and Control

Chapter 1: Control

"Mildred, stop!" Maud pleaded, voice an octave higher than usual. "Talk to me!"

"You wouldn't understand Maud -you've not had to deal with her crap!" Mildred pushed past her friend, desperate to get to her bedroom; the only place she could be alone in the overcrowded academy.

Reaching the door to the dusty turret, she almost flew to her bed, staring at the heavily cracked ceiling as a tear finally made its way down her cheek. She shook it off vigorously, wishing she could shake Ethel's cutting words from her head as easily.

 _Forever The Worst Witch, an embarrassment to Cackle's and the witching world. You should just go home already Mildred - save Miss Cackle the job of expelling you when you fail fourth year. It's really a fluke you've got this far or some kind of sick joke. I bet even the non-witching world are embarrassed of you. Maybe that's why your dad didn't stick around..._

That was low, even for Ethel. Mildred had just received her potions test back and Ethel had made sure she'd caught a glimpse of the 'D' written in Miss Hardbroom's signature blood red quill. She'd initially been happy that it was a step up from the 'F' she had received last month, but Ethel had quickly put a dampener on it.

She'd stared at Miss Hardbroom, her hard, unsympathetic gaze had cut into Mildred's own. "That's enough Ethel," Miss Hardbroom had said, barely raising her voice at clearly her favourite pupil. That had been when Mildred had felt the familiar prickles in her eyes. It wasn't fair. It would only be worse if they saw her crying. Ethel would be triumphant and Miss Hardbroom would be horrified.

Grabbing her bag, she had almost ran from the room. Ignoring Miss Hardbroom's shouts to, "Get back here this instant - the lesson is not over." Maud had caught up with her a minute later, out of breath and panting.

She felt sick. Her head was pounding and her vision faltered as she made her way to the closest girl's bathroom. It was thankfully empty with it still being lesson time. Shutting herself in a cubicle she allowed the noxious bile to leave her throat, strangely enjoying the relief it brought. She placed her cool hands on her forehead as she panted her breath back against the cubicle wall.

xxx

Hecate Hardbroom was furious. "She just _left!_ "

"I'm sure Mildred is very sorry," Ada Cackle reasoned with her deputy, a clear warmth to her face betraying the love she felt for the pupil that had saved her academy.

"Oh she will be _sorry_ " Hecate threatened, feeling the word escape her lips like a hiss.

"Don't be too hard on her Hecate," Ada raised her eyebrows, knowing her deputy's need to punish severely when she felt her ego was wounded. Mildred was often the source of Hecate Hardbroom's ire, lacking discipline and a magical background, Mildred was so different from the rest. A challenge.

xxx

"You've barely touched your food Mildred," Enid commented, staring at the barely-touched liver and onions left on her friend's plate. Her own plate had long since been empty and Maud had finished second helpings.

"I'm not hungry," Mildred pushed the cold, lumpy mash around her plate feeling repulsed. "This is revolting!"

"I think you mean 'healthy and nutritious'." Mildred shuddered as her form-tutor appeared behind her. She looked slowly up at the looming figure, past her folded arms and pointed chin to her raised eyebrows and found the famous Miss Hardbroom glare. "I'll add that to the pile of lines waiting for you after today's _antics_. You may join me in the potions lab at 7pm sharp."

"Yes Miss Hardbroom," Mildred felt a pang of disappointment in her stomach. She made to leave, grabbing her uneaten food to clear.

"I don't think so Miss Hubble," Miss Hardbroom eyed her plate unimpressed. "We do not waste food." She raised her hand, lazily flicking her wrist and causing the plate to float back to the table, another flick and Mildred found her muscles tensing, dropping her with a thud back onto the chair. She tried to move, wriggling with as much force as she could muster, but Miss Hardbroom's spell was far too powerful. "You will be able to leave once every last morsel is eaten," she told her pointedly, before disappearing.

"Hard luck Millie," Maud said pityingly. "It's really not that bad!"

Mildred slowly brought her fork to her mouth, allowing the cold slimy mush in with a grimace. She swallowed quickly, before finding her gusto and repeating the action. Five minutes later with her belly full, she found she could finally leave the table. She felt repulsed. Holding on to that thought, she made her excuses to Maud and Enid and sped towards the nearest toilet, retching and feeling the relief as she felt the meal leave her. _"You can make me eat it Miss Hardbroom, but you cannot make me keep it down,"_ she thought with sick satisfaction.

xxx

Hecate stared at the lifeless girl in front of her with annoyance. She had been expecting more of a battle, Mildred usually wittered at her over any punishment, but not tonight. Tonight she had just meekly accepted her fate. Ever the formidable martinet, she was used to her instructions being followed instantly, but never from Mildred. She actually felt annoyed at the girl for not sticking to the script.

An hour later, Mildred placed down her quill and began counting her lines. Hecate, watching her, tutted loudly.

Mildred visibly flinched, wide eyes meeting her teacher's fearfully. Hecate sighed at her reaction, "Use the spell I taught you last time."

Mildred's eyes widened even further. It was clear that she couldn't remember. Impatience mixed with annoyance laced through Hecate's blood, she wasn't used to her lessons forgotten so easily, nor did she enjoy the way Mildred's frightened eyes made her feel.

"I can't Miss Hardbroom," Mildred murmured, head down, not daring to see her teacher's stony expression.

"Not good enough, Mildred Hubble," Hecate sibilated her name dangerously. "Not nearly good enough. How you intend to pass your exams this year is beyond me, I have told you time and time again, fourth year is not like the rest, it requires dedication, and above all discipline - both of which you are clearly lacking."

Hecate saw a familiar glint on Mildred's eye, she had made unruly pupils cry often enough to recognise it, but it seemed so out of place on Mildred Hubble's face. The girl never cried.

"Leave your lines on my desk, and then I believe an early light's out is needed for you Miss Hubble - you look a mess," Hecate commanded bluntly, conjuring the small amount of pity she possessed to not demand that Mildred keep trying to remember the spell.

"Yes Miss Hardbroom," Mildred nodded dully, before scarpering from the room so quickly she nearly fell over her own undone bootlaces.

xxx

Clearly lacking, lacking, lacking, _lacking_.

Mildred awoke with a start. It was early, the rising sun only just appearing over the horizon as golden light began to pierce her room through her open shutters.

Her stomach churned unpleasantly. It was _early_ , early enough to get away with missing breakfast, as long as Miss Hardbroom saw her leaving the dining hall.

Dressing quickly, she slipped a brush through her frizzing hair before tying them into hasty plaits.

Making her way into the hall, she sang a falsely hearty 'morning' to Miss Tapioca the school cook, who gave her the usual bowl of porridge from a big tureen kept on a warmer. _No wonder the food is disgusting if it's made this early and left to sit,_ Mildred wrinkled her nose.

No-one else had arisen, thankfully even Miss Hardbroom was nowhere to be seen. It took only a moment for Mildred to scrape her porridge into the bin when Miss Tapioca had returned to the kitchen. She sat at her usual table and waited.

Before too long, Miss Hardbroom appeared with her usual popping sound. The teacher's hard glare met Mildred's with a touch of bemused confusion.

"This may be the earliest I've ever seen you arise," she lamented smoothly. Looking at Mildred's scraped bowl she added, "Clearly porridge is more to your tastes."

"Yes Miss Hardbroom," Mildred confirmed, not meeting her form mistress's eyes.

xx

In all of her time teaching Mildred, she had never known her to be an early riser. Yet to Hecate's continued astonishment Mildred had been the first to breakfast all week, beating even herself. She had not expected Mildred to keep it up over the weekend, knowing how much the girl enjoyed a 'lie in' when she did not have lessons, but Hecate was to be further surprised.

Hecate had always been an early-riser herself, knowing the morning was the most peaceful time of day but also time to get the majority of her work done with an untired mind. She didn't need much sleep to function, but Mildred clearly did - as her early morning habit seemed to be making her more and more dishevelled.

By Monday, Hecate had magicked Mildred's tie to neaten itself under her gymslip with a pointed comment about standards. By Tuesday, Hecate had transferred to the dining hall to see that Mildred's hair was even more standing on end than usual and had demanded she re-plaited before lessons. It wasn't just her appearance either, Mildred had been even less focussed than usual in lessons, she had not completed a potion to satisfaction in a long time, her 'D' had fallen sharply to an 'F'; she almost wished for the old Mildred back.

On Wednesday, Hecate appeared to the familiar sight of Mildred hunched over her bowl of eaten porridge. She sighed, taking in the slatternly appearance of the girl, disturbing her morning calm. Grabbing a bowl of porridge along with a strong black coffee, Miss Hardbroom surprised Mildred by sitting down opposite her, rather than at the teacher's table in her usual position. After an awkward five minutes of Mildred staring at her form-tutor as she ate, Miss Hardbroom finally placed her empty bowl to one side and spoke:

"Since you continually insist on disturbing my morning routine, you can come and help set up." With a flick of her wrist Hecate vanished the two dishes and grabbed Mildred's shoulder, pulling her into the void.

Hecate felt Mildred's arm slacken, but by the time she had registered what was going on they had appeared in the potion's classroom. Mildred's eyes rolled as she slipped towards the stone floor. Adrenalin cursed through Miss Hardbroom's brain as she caught her pupil.

xx


	2. The Reluctant Houseguest

Confidence and Control

Chapter 2: The Reluctant Houseguest

xx

 _"Mildred...Mildred..._ Mildred Hubble!"

Mildred's vision slowly came back at the familiar commanding growl. Her back ached from the bony yet strong hand digging into her spine, keeping her head from hitting the flagstones.

Her eyes widened as she realised it was Miss Hardbroom holding her, her teacher's expression strangely soft, lips pursed in worry rather than usual annoyance.

"Can you sit?" She queried. Mildred nodded and attempted to sit up, but her vision faltered again until she felt the familiar grip tighten.

"I'm going to transfer us Mildred. I'm sorry, but it's the best way." Mildred nodded as she felt herself pulled through the void again, not knowing her destination.

xxx

She awoke to a strange room which wasn't her own. It was immaculate, with dark wooden furniture and a double bed with a violet bedspread. She herself was laid on a firm yet comfortable sofa, a grey knitted blanket over her. There was a desk in the corner which was as immaculate as the rest of the room, despite it being in use by a pale figure clad in black with a severe bun at the top of her head.

Hearing the shuffling of her pupil, Hecate turned on her chair and said, "Good, you're awake."

Mildred gave Hecate a questioning look, "I gave you a potion for a restoring sleep. You've been asleep since this morning."

Hecate busied herself for a moment as Mildred began to sit up. When she returned, she was carrying a vial of amber liquid. It smelt strangely of dandelion and burdock - a drink Mildred had always hated.

Noticing Mildred's sniff of disapproval, Hecate smirked. "It's a revival potion.. and yes I can confirm it tastes exactly as it smells."

Mildred sighed and took a small sip under her teacher's watchful eye She shuddered and went to spit it out, but Miss Hardbroom got there first, magicking her mouth shut, forcing her to swallow it.

"Urghhhh," Mildred shuddered, looking at Miss Hardbroom pleadingly. _The wretched girl,_ Hecate thought, her pupil looked a real mess, despite the long induced nap.

"You are to drink it all," Hecate raised her long eyebrows at Mildred pointedly. "And do not think I won't pinch your nose and pour it down your throat myself."

Mildred stared at her, hoping but failing to find any signs that she wasn't being serious. She gulped before wrinkling her nose and downing the rest of the vial. Coughing and spluttering, she noticed her teacher had a small smirk playing around her pursed lips at her reaction.

"Happy?" She asked sarcastically, sounding more like the old Mildred than she had in ages. The liquid burned her throat, but upon reaching her stomach felt nicely warm and oddly settling.

"Ecstatic," Hecate drawled back.

Miss Hardbroom sighed, Mildred noticed that she sighed strangely, lips still pursed and breath pushing through her nostrils - _like a fire breathing dragon_ , Mildred thought, thinking of how her form-mistress shared lots of other characteristics of the mythical creature.

"Mildred..." Hecate began awkwardly. "Mildred," she tried again, "it is of crucial importance that we find out why the sudden collapse. As much as I respect your right to privacy, you are still a minor, under Cackle's responsibility, under _my_ responsibility."

 _She must really hate that I'm her responsibility,_ Mildred thought sadly. "What are you getting at Miss Hardbroom?" Mildred asked, panic setting in that soon Miss Hardbroom would know her secret.

"I have no choice Mildred," she replied almost pityingly, before Mildred felt herself suddenly drift off into a strange daydream.

She saw herself, crouched on the bathroom floor, rushing off to hide in the library during dinner break, playing with her food and eating small tentative bites at dinner to placate her growling stomach. Breakfast, her ploy to fool Miss Hardbroom. Ethel's cutting words, the pang of frustration that Miss Hardbroom had not intervened, detention, not being able to remember the spell, feeling useless. The desire to control something, anything, realising that she could control food. The grim satisfaction of seeing its effect, her clothes growing looser. Knowing that she had fooled even her mighty form mistress.

When she came round, she felt sick with nerves, she couldn't meet Hecate's eyes.

Hecate Hardbroom was rarely lost for words; she didn't like the feeling. She paused for several breaths.

"Oh Mildred," Hecate eventually let out a strangely strangled sigh. Looking at the girl in front of her, she cursed herself for not spotting the signs sooner. The girl's usually round face had developed jutting cheekbones for heaven's sake. A tear dropped down said cheekbone as the girl continued to play with her hands.

"Look at me," Hecate commanded, her brisk tone softened as much as she could.

When Mildred continued to stare downwards, Hecate used her long, bony index finger the carefully lift her chin up so that their matching brown eyes met.

"You are stronger than this Mildred Hubble," she asserted. Hecate felt the girl trembling as fresh tears began to gather on her long lashes. With a gasping sob, Mildred had grabbed her into a crushing embrace, Hecate stiffened, but reacted the best way she knew how, tracing what she hoped were comforting circles on Mildred's spine. As she held the girl, she couldn't help but wish she were Pippa - confident, lovely Pippa Pentangle, who always knew the right thing to do and say.

When Mildred's sobs has subsided she raised herself back to her full height. She could almost hear Pippa screaming at her not to let Mildred go, to hold onto her longer, tell her that everything would be ok.

It's not ok though! Hecate would argue, it wasn't ok at all! She knew from her own awful demons that it wasn't ok.

That at least, was the rather ugly silver lining. Hecate herself knew what it felt like - to be so disgusted with oneself, to want to punish, to discipline yourself for any perceived weaknesses. She had more in common with Mildred Hubble than she had realised and the thought paralysed her with fear. Mildred couldn't take after her, she wouldn't allow it.

She looked at the girl with dogged determination and made a vow to herself in that moment that she would help Mildred Hubble in anyway she could.

xxx

Mildred felt beyond awkward. Miss Cackle, Miss Hardbroom and her mum were all in Miss Cackle's office, Miss Cackle and Julie Hubble staring at her in shock and pity, thankfully Miss Hardbroom had managed to school her expression into her usual impassive.

"Millie love - we really need to get you better," Julie gave an encouraging smile to her daughter, looking at Miss Cackle for support.

"Yes Mildred, we all want to see you in control of this - back to the old, confident Mildred." Mildred felt a pang of annoyance at that - if the old Mildred was so great, why was everyone always getting on to her?

"Now," Miss Cackle began in a business-like, but not unkind tone. "Myself, your mother and Miss Hardbroom, have been speaking... We think it would be of great benefit for you to have someone to keep an eye on you for a bit, keep you eating, make sure you can talk to someone if you are upset - that kind of thing. Now it's half term this next week, and your mother cannot be around to constantly supervise you with her work commitments. We originally thought a clinic that deals with eating disorders.." Mildred felt her stomach drop, "..but then Miss Hardbroom suggested she take you."

"Take me?" Mildred knitted her eyebrows as she looked at Miss Hardbroom, who was doing her best not to look at her. "Miss Hardbroom?"

"No need to look so thrilled," Hecate smirked dryly as she finally caught her gaze.

"I really think it's for the best Millie," Julie's eyes were wide and worried, looking more like her daughter than she ever had before.

"What if I refuse?" Mildred asked testily. There was no way that Miss Hardbroom would be able to stand her for a week. Would she even be able to stand Miss Hardbroom back? Her frustration with her teacher began to rise back to the surface. She would likely be treated as a nuisance all week, or else confined to her room so as not to break any of her furniture.

"I wouldn't have a choice Millie.." Julie replied firmly. "You don't have a choice."

Staring at her mother's strangely unyielding face, Mildred slowly nodded.

xxx

"Pack plenty of warm clothes Mildred," Miss Hardbroom ordered curtly in that long drawn out way of hers, arms crossed as she supervised Mildred's packing from the doorway, flicking her wrist every now and again when an item went in crumpled, causing it to fold itself neatly.

"I don't have to wear school uniform then?" Mildred quipped before she could stop herself.

"Stop being ridiculous," Hecate warned lowly and rolled her eyes in a very practised way.

Mildred tossed a final cardigan into the overfilled case, shutting the lid and sitting on it, jamming the zip shut with determined force. Hecate watched her and Mildred shot her a sheepish half-smile, "Ready!" she declared apprehensively, her voice catching at the end syllable.

Case in hand, Hecate transferred them both. They appeared in a thick copse of great oak trees, their tall majestic branches causing the light to appear strangely green. At the edge of the copse was a traditional looking cottage, made from a mixture of soft, rugged stone and wood so that it blended in well with its surroundings. Taking an iron key from her belt, Hecate made towards the door.

"Are you coming or not?" Hecate asked the girl pointedly, who had stood at the edge of the path staring, she hoped her sharp tone would not betray the nerves she felt at inviting a student into her home.

Mildred entered the threshold, taking in the rather large traditional kitchen. Somehow the cottage still managed to be homely, despite its sparse furnishings and decorations. Nothing was out of place, and there seemed nothing that didn't have a practical purpose. A large table filled most of the room, the kitchen housed modern cooking equipment but also had a rather large pewter cauldron set over a small pit under a chimney. Beyond the room a small hall led off into a more formal sitting area and a library, full of large leather volumes. The wooden staircase led off to the upstairs bedrooms and bathrooms.

"Your house is lovely Miss Hardbroom," Mildred said truthfully. It was. Mildred couldn't imagine living somewhere so orderly, yet it managed to showcase the real beauty of the house: the natural stone walls, the wooden ceiling beams and the breathtaking views of the forest from the wooden windows.

Miss Hardbroom eyed the teenage student,"I will show you to your room and give you a chance to unpack." Mildred found to her surprise she didn't mind Hecate's assertive tone so much anymore- it made her feel strangely certain. That was the thing about Miss Hardbroom, as much as she kept you on your toes, she could also be comfortingly predictable.

Hecate led her up the stairs and into a clean, whitewashed bedroom. Soft grey blankets filled the bed and various frames filled the walls. Mildred noticed that these were all herbs that she had come across in potions, carefully pressed before encased, a careful looped writing labelled - 'Spearmint', 'Catnip', 'Bay Laurel', 'Dill' and 'Lemongrass' amongst others. Hecate caught her looking, "I intend to put you to work whilst you are here, your knowledge of basic potion ingredients is shocking and if you hope to progress into fifth year..." Hecate caught Mildred's wide-eyed reaction and felt immediately guilty, _Stop criticising her, she needs to raise her self-esteem and you're not helping!_

Feeling immediately awkward with herself, Hecate left Mildred to unpack. She returned downstairs and set to work preparing supper. Her skilful hands cutting and slicing with a methodical flair as the kitchen began to smell warm and comforting.

Mildred appeared in the doorway, Hecate noticed how fearful she looked: Her big brown eyes were glistening and her folded eyes were hugging herself tightly.

"Sit," Hecate ordered brusquely, gesturing to the wooden table. Hecate transferred the stew into two bowls and placed them on the table. Carefully eyeing Mildred, she began to spoon mouthfuls, somehow managing to look elegant as she did so.

Although Mildred was terrified to eat, she was petrified of Miss Hardbroom's reaction if she did not... Mildred supposed this was why her mother and Miss Cackle had been so willing for her to stay with her form-teacher. Mum might have given in if she kicked and screamed, but Miss Hardbroom would only magic her to her seat again, or pinch her nose and force her to swallow like she had threatened.

The pointed look Hecate was giving her now confirmed that, and so Mildred took her first mouthful. She was pleasantly surprised: the stew was soft mutton, root veg and then littered with many different herbs. It was flowery, sharp, bitter and sweet at the same time. She kept going.

"Which ingredients can you identify?" Hecate suddenly asked sharply, taking Mildred aback.

"Erm," she took another mouthful, "there's onion, broccoli, parsnip and butternut squash?"

Hecate nodded, "Good. And the herbs?"

"Rosemary?" Mildred guessed.

"Yes, Rosemary for a sharp mind," Hecate told her, "Sage for memory, parsley for mood swings and lavender honey for grounding - plus it adds a little needed sweetness."

Hecate took Mildred's now empty bowl from her, before Mildred had really noticed that she had eaten the lot. Mildred wondered if Hecate had used the game as a bit of a ploy - to get her thinking so she wasn't solely focussed on the food. It had worked.

Mildred sat there, stomach feeling strangely full. Miss Hardbroom looked at her knowingly, "I've placed a charm on you that will alert me if you've been sick - so don't even try it," she warned firmly. Mildred nodded.

"It is a full moon tonight - I know that you will want to mirror your mother before retiring for the evening, but there are ingredients in the woods which are best harvested on the eve of a full moon." Hecate told Mildred, passing her a dark purple cloak and putting on her own in black. "It will be a useful learning experience."

xx

Hecate led the way. The cool Autumn air pinched at Mildred's fingers and cheeks, but the warm cloak did its job. The dying light turned the green forest into something more muted yet somehow still colourful. Miss Hardbroom seemed to know exactly where she was going, following what Mildred thought couldn't quite pass for a path. The teenager struggled to keep up with the adult, still not at full strength. Hecate did not wait for her however, it was not in her nature to be patient.

Mildred could hear the rushing sound of what appeared to be a stream. They followed that sound until they reached a beautiful bank. The sunset reflected off the clear water, illuminating the countless untouched plants and flowers. Birds watched from the oak trees as the two witches took a moment to take in the beauty of this hidden place.

After a moment of her own, Hecate looked down at her charge's reaction. There was a magic to this place - a deep magic from the time of faeries and druids. It was a holy place, a place for broken spirits to come and heal. Observing Mildred as she did, Hecate began to recite:

 _I know a bank where the wild thyme blows,_

 _Where oxlips and the nodding violet grows,_

 _Quite over-canopied with luscious woodbine,_

 _With sweet musk-roses and with eglantine:_

 _There sleeps Titania sometime of the night,_

 _Lull'd in these flowers with dances and delight;_

Mildred looked up at her form-mistress questioningly. Titania? She had watched A Midsummer Night's Dream with her mum a few years back. "I didn't know you knew Shakespeare Miss Hardbroom?" she questioned.

Hecate smirked, "His wife was one of us."

Mildred's jaw dropped, "Anne Hathaway?" She knew the name from her studies, remembering that it had been the same as the actress from some of her favourite childhood movies.

"An ancestor of mine," Hecate continued. "She knew her oxlips from her cowslips and regailed her husband with some of our legends. He claimed the credit for them of course - so that Anne was never discovered." Mildred noticed how soft and pretty Miss Hardbroom looked in the fading light, a small proud smile dancing on her lips, her extreme pallor not noticeable and her features appearing softer. "Enough chatting Mildred - we've work to do," she said, suddenly terse again.

"Many of the plants mentioned in that verse are growing here. I am not expecting you to recognise some of the old-fashioned names, but I want you to see just how many you can find. I will show you how to harvest properly, and if your work is sufficient you are to take a cutting for yourself. Tomorrow you will draw them, labelling them carefully, before pressing them like the ones in your bedroom. I will show you how."

Hecate noticed that Mildred perked up at that, especially at the idea of drawing them. She knew from Miss Mould just how talented Mildred was at art and she hoped this would help her to improve at her own subject.

"Well, what are you waiting for girl? Go ahead," Hecate told the girl who was standing there nervously.

Mildred was clearly fearful as she approached the first plant. She was pretty sure it was thyme, she looked up at her teacher questioningly.

"Smell it. Roll a sprig around in your hand - A good witch is always certain, and uses all of her senses for surety."

Tentatively, Mildred broke off a piece, smelling the sweet aroma as she did as Hecate had bid. Hecate told her to try some, now she was sure she had the right herb.

"You want the sprigs where there is an abundance of dark green leaves, they are the most potent." Hecate watched Mildred fill up a small brown bag with carefully chosen leaves, before bending down and helping her. They worked in a rather cordial silence. "You have chosen well, Mildred," Hecate carefully praised, "Can you name any potions in which we use moon-harvested thyme?"

Mildred thought for a moment, desperate to get it right, "A bravery potion?" she asked, thinking she had used the ingredient the previous term. She hadn't paid too much attention to it then.

"A potion for courage -yes," Miss Hardbroom confirmed. "Thyme's properties encourage confidence which in turn can turn to courage. It also allows poise, self-confidence. It can be used in a number of potion's linked to bravery and controlling self-doubt. It can be dangerous if overused however, can you think why?"

"Too much confidence? Arrogance? Recklessness?" Mildred guessed, biting her lip.

Hecate was surprised at Mildred's accurate answer, she tried to hide it, "Good," she nodded, noticing how Mildred beamed with pride at the small amount of praise she offered.

After that, Mildred showed much more self-assurance; the thyme had clearly done its job. She asked many questions, checking each plant with Hecate and listening carefully to her teaching. Hecate tried not to get frustrated at the plants she felt Mildred should already know.

By the time the sunlight had truly disappeared, the two witches had many full bags of carefully selected ingredients. Mildred felt strange, almost at peace with herself as she watched the tranquil light that Miss Hardbroom had conjured to lead them back to her cottage. Mildred almost wanted to say thanks to her teacher, but she didn't quite know how or even what for.

She did not feel particularly thankful for Hecate a couple of hours later however, Hecate was in full-on bossy Miss Hardbroom mode. Mildred had just finished mirroring her mother, placating her that she had settled in well enough when a sharp rap on her door announced her presence. "Come in," Mildred allowed, thankful that her teacher had had the grace to knock rather than just transfer in.

Hecate was already dressed in her purple satin pyjamas, a black embroidered kimono style dressing gown tied around her narrow waist, her impressively long wavy hair loose and no sign of a burgundy lipstick. Mildred thought how much gentler she looked naturally, a thought that was quickly put to rest when she spoke, her tone fiercely assertive:

"It's nearly lights out Mildred, you should be undressed by now."

Mildred looked at her watch, it was only 8.45pm, at home she didn't have a bedtime and had assumed she wouldn't here, even at Cackles, bedtime restrictions were slackened on the weekends.

Hecate clearly thought that Mildred was making a point by looking at her watch and folded her arms dangerously. "Go wash up and get yourself ready, I'll be up in ten minutes to ensure you are in bed," she transferred away, leaving a rather bemused Mildred in her wake.

Mildred entered the adjoining bathroom, washed her face and began to brush her teeth. The toothpaste was not one she recognised, it wasn't the usual Aquafresh she always used from home, instead it was a brand called 'Little Witches' with a tagline of 'Spelled to ensure proper oral care.' Mildred wondered for a moment what that meant, but soon found out... She had gone to rinse, but found the toothbrush wouldn't move from her mouth. It began attacking her teeth with gusto, Mildred felt herself choking on the minty lather, but just when she thought she couldn't take anymore the toothbrush dropped, placing itself neatly into its holder.

Baffled, Mildred got into her pajamas and smoothed her hair into a side plait. Just in time, as Miss Hardbroom appeared a moment later, Mildred almost jumped into her bed, then feeling rather silly she looked up at her teacher who gave a melodic chortle at her fearful reaction.

"You have toothpaste on your face," Hecate told her pointedly, rolling her eyes as Mildred used her sleeve to find the offending patch.

"I got attacked by my toothbrush," she said grumpily.

Hecate exposed her own perfect sharp pearly whites, "Well you should brush better then," she replied pointedly, "I've often said to Miss Cackle that we ought to provide spelled toothpaste at Cackles'. She sat on the edge of Mildred's bed, making Mildred feel awkward despite how close she had got to her form-tutor in recent days. It was then that Mildred noticed her teacher was carrying two identical china mugs, both with intricate patterns on the side. "Drink this," Hecate ordered, passing Mildred the cup. The girl sniffed it suspiciously, it didn't smell like dandelion and burdock, instead it smelled like cinnamon. There were sodden leaves in the bottom and the cup was giving off a small amount of steam.

"Green tea, for antioxidants, cinnamon for healing and I've added a little something to yours for a dreamless sleep."

Mildred drank, feeling the strange prickle of warmth from the cinnamon. It wasn't pleasant nor unpleasant but now the initial awkwardness had left it felt strangely companionable to be sharing a drink with Miss Hardbroom, who drank hers regally, pinkie outstretched.

Mildred's eyes soon began to roll and she passed her mug back to Hecate before placing her head on the soft pillow. Hecate pulled the blanket to her chin, receiving a rather yawned out, "Thanks Miss Hardbroom," as she did so.

Hecate watched her young charge fall to sleep. She looked peaceful as she began to softly snore. Once satisfied that Mildred was in deep slumber, Hecate transferred herself to her own bedroom. Approaching the mirror, she commanded, "Pippa Pentangle."

To Hecate's relief, Pippa answered almost immediately. The woman looked a vision in a bright pink nightdress and fluffy dressing gown, her hair tied on her head in a messy version of Hecate's usual bun.

"Hiccup! - I wasn't expecting you to call! Not that I'm not thrilled to see your face of course!"

"I'm sorry it's late Pips, I just really needed to talk to you," Hecate admitted guiltily.

"Don't worry Hecate, I'm not as early to bed as you are anyway!" The blonde smiled. "What's wrong?"

Hecate told her everything: what had happened with Mildred, what she had discovered upon invading her mind, her guilt, heart-wrenching guilt that she had been partly to blame and that now she had gained a rather reluctant house-guest.

Pippa listened intensely, when Hecate had got to the end of the story she shot Hecate a sympathetic smile of comfort, "Ohhh poor Mildred - but she's in the best place with you. Your strength will do her good, and you can relate to her, she will be able to see that you can overcome this."

"You think I should tell her?" Hecate blanched. She hadn't expected anyone to suggest she explain her hidden demons to a poor child, no less a student of hers.

"Of course Hiccup! You really must - she will be feeling silly, she needs to know that it's a totally normal thing to go through, and that there's light at the end of the tunnel."

"I hardly think I'm a shining example of that," Hecate bit her lip.

Pippa chortled, "Oh Hecate - I do wish you would start to see yourself as everyone sees you."

"Only you see me that way Pips," Hecate gave her a small smile which softened her pointed features. "Will you still come visit?" Hecate asked Pippa hopefully changing the subject, "I know it's hardly the same with Mildred around."

"Of course Hecate! I'd love to see darling Mildred too," she smiled at full blinding wattage.

"I'm sure Mildred will be pleased to have a break from me, and she has always adored you. She's barely stopped talking about you since the Spelling Bee," Hecate rolled her eyes. Pippa had that effect on people.

"She adores you more, despite how hard you may have been on her," Pippa replied truthfully.

"I wouldn't say that Pipsqueak, I think I clearly frighten her," Hecate winced at the memory of seeing herself through Mildred's eyes.

Pippa laughed, "You frighten us all Hiccup."

xxx


	3. Butterflies

**Thanks for the reviews so far! I think it's a lot easier to continue writing when you've already got great support. I loved writing this chapter! It's interesting that I've always wanted to use the old HB until now (child of the 90s/00s) but I love Pippa so much I just can't not have her in. Their relationship is so beautifully done that I've actually grown to love the new HB.**

Confidence and Control

Chapter 3: Butterflies

xxx

Mildred woke up early but felt rather refreshed. Placing a well-worn jumper over her pyjamas she went downstairs. Hecate was already awake and fully dressed, she cut a different figure clad in her tight black dress to the softer evening pajamad version. "Morning Mildred," she greeted rather stiffly and formally. "There's coffee on the table," she told the girl who was still rubbing sleep from her eyes.

"No morning potion?" Mildred looked around suspiciously.

Hecate smirked, "Not unless you feel the need for another revival potion Mildred, I always keep some handy," she threatened, enjoying the look the girl gave her.

As Mildred went past her to sit at the table, Hecate seized her chance. She dipped the spoon into oatmeal she was making and all but pushed it into Mildred's mouth. "Try this," she ordered unnecessarily, "Is it sweet enough for your tastes?"

Mildred had swallowed the thick, creamy mixture before she had even realised. It wasn't overly sweet, but was just right. It had an unusual floral taste that Mildred didn't recognise.

"Honey mixed with fresh lavender sprigs," Miss Hardbroom told her, "Potent in both potions and cooking - I am always surprised it's not used more."

"It's good, Miss Hardbroom," Mildred replied truthfully and politely. She sat at the table and helped herself to coffee. It was strange, Mildred thought, Miss Hardbroom seemed to know exactly how she was feeling and how to assuage the fear. The mouthful she had pretty much been spoon-fed had served what Mildred knew was its true purpose - to awaken her hunger and quell any desire to not eat.

A moment later, Hecate had placed a bowl in front of Mildred, watching her slyly as Mildred began to eat.

When she had finished, Hecate quickly magicked the bowls away. Mildred wondered if again Hecate had understood the discomfort of seeing the evidence of how much she had eaten.

"Miss Pentangle is coming for tea, she will arrive sometime in the afternoon," Hecate told the girl between sips of coffee.

"Miss Pentangle?" Mildred's eyes lit up. The glamorous witch had clearly left an impression on her.

"She's excited to see you too Mildred," Hecate told her lightly. In the meantime, you will help me prepare the ingredients we gathered last night, after lunch you may start the drawing task I assigned you."

Mildred nodded with a wide smile. Hecate had always thought the girl's smile was rather infectious - it reminded her a lot of Pippa. It was good to see it back on her face.

xxx

Miss Hardbroom struggled to appreciate Mildred's smile later on that morning. She had begun to be irritable with her pupil, "Small chunks Mildred - No, they need to be the same size. A _fine_ powder - put some effort in girl!"

"I'm trying Miss Hardbroom," Mildred replied back, squishing the woodbine the best she could.

"You need to pound it Mildred," Hecate took the pestle and mortar of the girl and placing it on the worktop, showed her with a steady downward thrust.

She passed it back to the girl, "Try again," she ordered. Mildred looked downcast as she received the mortar stone back. Hecate felt immediately guilty.

"Imagine it's Ethel," she said as Mildred raised her eyebrows in shocked surprise, a grin beginning and escaping on her face. She renewed her vigour, pounding out her repressed anger of the school bully.

"Or myself after I've been particularly hard on you," Hecate continued after a moment, not quite catching Mildred's wide eyes..

Mildred continued to stare at the woman, shocked that Miss Hardbroom had made such a comment. It was almost an apology, and as far as she knew Miss Hardbroom didn't really _do_ apologies. She immediately felt a pang of annoyance at herself for her own previous sensitivity - she didn't want Miss Hardbroom to feel guilty.

Not knowing what to say, Mildred pushed the woodbine into the pot with renewed energy. She was rewarded with a fine powder.

Hecate looked at Mildred's handiwork, "Much better," she commented quietly.

xxx

Mildred was relieved when the lessons were over, although she had to admit that she had learnt a lot more than she usually did in class. There was no Ethel to comment on her failures and Mildred found that Miss Hardbroom was making a real effort not to show her irritation: It still crept through of course, but it was just enough to force Mildred to concentrate on the task at hand.

Still, she was thankful that Miss Hardbroom had given her a bit of drawing time after the intensity of a private lesson. The woman had even set her things out carefully on the table for her, placing the cuttings Mildred had collected in a pile ready. Mildred immediately found herself bound to the task, fully absorbed and focussed in the way that only drawing could make her.

She outlined carefully, using shadow and colour to make the drawings appear as realistic as she could. At one point, Hecate appeared over the shoulder and complimented her replications in true Miss Hardbroom style - "Adequately drawn Mildred - it is true that you have talent." Mildred had to hide a blush and only nodded when Hecate instructed her to label the parts carefully, so that she could commit the ingredients to memory. Once she was done and was fully satisfied, Hecate dictated how to prepare them, their effects and quizzed Mildred on the potions that they were used in. Mildred did badly at first, but found that once she had added careful notes to her sketchbooks she was able to remember their properties with increased ease.

"Much better Mildred," Hecate nodded her approval. "You are to keep adding to your book throughout the week and you will look through it each evening. I will be testing you before bedtime."

Mildred gasped sharply, placing her hand over her mouth in embarrassment. Hecate laughed her oddly melodic laugh at Mildred's fearful reaction: Mildred really could be charming in a rather awkward way.

"Pip- Miss Pentangle, will be here soon," Miss Hardbroom informed Mildred, glancing at the clock. "She's always punctual - but does like to make an entrance," she continued. Mildred noticed that she spoke of her friend strangely, like she wanted to roll her eyes and be disapproving but couldn't quite manage it. "I suggest we take a cup of tea out into the garden, enjoy what is left of the good weather."

"Yes Miss Hardbroom," Mildred assented.

The 'tea' was not what Mildred had expected. Mildred had imagine the dark brown tar that her mum usually drank or the strange tasting cinnamon concoction that she had been given to help her sleep. Instead Miss Hardbroom gave her a steaming cup of tea leaves mixed with elderflower and blackberry - _"Elderflower for clear thinking and blackberry for prosperity in your actions"_. The black liquid was sharp on the surface, but hid a sweet aftertaste and Mildred found that she couldn't stop drinking it.

"You're a fan of that blend," Miss Hardbroom commented smoothly, lips quipping unusually at the corners. They were sitting at an iron table in a gorgeous little courtyard to the back of the cottage, full of potted herbs and carefully pruned flower beds. Mildred thought it was strange to imagine Miss Hardbroom with her long tight dresses gardening, but knew she must be excellent at it.

"It's lovely Miss Hardbroom," Mildred nodded. Feeling rather awkward still in her teacher's presence, she elaborated, "I imagine most people would find it sour."

"Yes, they tend to," Hecate's lips gave an involuntary quip again.

"I'm sure Miss Pentangle will be bringing some of her own blend," she continued, "It's a very sweet raspberry and I'm sure that you can guess the colour."

"Pink?" Mildred gave a nervous giggle.

Hecate smirked, "We shared a room together at University," Hecate told the teenager, "We had to split the room in half, practically a line down the middle as we could not agree on a colour scheme."

Mildred laughed again, noticing Miss Hardbroom's strangely wistful smile. "Why is it you like black so much Miss Hardbroom?" she asked bravely.

Hecate looked suddenly taken aback, and Mildred felt panic stab in her stomach. She had never asked her teacher a personal question before and wondered if she had gone a step too far, she would probably be called impertinent and given lines, holiday or no holiday.

"It is the colour of the craft..." Hecate stated softly to Mildred's great surprise. Mildred nodded, feeling intense relief. After several beats Hecate continued, looking at Mildred with a strange wry smile, "You were rightly thrilled to find out you were a witch Mildred, but you were someone else before that happened. I have never been anything other than a witch."

Mildred felt she understood, but she wanted to disagree -she just didn't dare. It felt preposterous to think Miss Hardbroom was just a mere witch.

Feeling like she had said too much, Hecate left the table and went into the kitchen, leaving Mildred to her thoughts. Never before had she answered such a personal question from a pupil, choosing to separate herself with an iron-clad wall of professionalism, but then she supposed she had never before opened her house to a child before either. There was something quite endearing about Mildred, her shining eyes almost begging to be approved of. At first she had found her lack of discipline, seriousness and sheer witchiness everything she had feared about the next generation, but somehow Mildred had changed that opinion. She wondered when it had happened. Perhaps during one of the many life and death situations they had found themselves in recently, she mused. She was annoyingly fond of the girl in spite of herself.

She looked at the teen from the window, sitting and looking almost relaxed in her garden. Mildred's long, unbrushed dark hair fell in straggly waves down her back, just like hers had done when she was younger. _I need to get Pippa to teach her some hair-care spells,_ she thought, pursing her lips. Hecate still used one of Pippa's daily in order to get her own long locks into the sleekest bun. Pippa had created many beauty spells over the years, Hecate had laughed at her and called her vain, rolling her eyes at the fact that Pippa was so beautiful anyway.

She wondered if she could manage to keep her feelings to herself during Pippa's visit, Mildred did not need to know that the two were anything else other than old friends. It would be difficult to pretend, but it would have been harder if Pippa wasn't coming at all. Harder for herself, but also harder for Mildred. Hecate wasn't the most fun of people, and knew Mildred would find her hard company. Pippa on the other hand made everything easy.

Hecate balanced the two plates on her arms and stepped out towards Mildred. Mildred had made good progress, eating both breakfast this morning and supper yesterday, but this was likely a harder test as she had purposely chosen food which was guaranteed to put some weight back on the girl. She set the plates on the table, not missing the panicked eyes of her charge upon seeing the cheese on the hearty wholemeal loaf. Hecate didn't comment, instead she helped herself to the homemade red onion marmalade and began her first bite. Mildred's eyes flashed in a way which read _fat on top of carbs_.

The girl took a deep breath before beginning, knowing that refusing would be unlikely to work. She took her first bite with a grimace, but Hecate watched as the grimace turned into something else. Hecate felt satisfied as the girl continued with renewed vigour.

Once she had finished, Hecate zapped the plates away quickly. Mildred was quiet, and rather downcast.

Hecate looked at the girl thoughtfully, thinking back to what Pippa had said. She cleared her throat awkwardly, "Mildred - I know that I've been perhaps harder on you than I have the others." When Mildred did not disagree she continued, "Although perhaps my actions would maybe speak otherwise to you, I have always had the best intentions. I am expecting great things from you one day," Hecate continued, intertwining her fingers as the girl looked at her in shock, "I _want_ great things from you."

Mildred stared at the woman, looking for, but finding no signs that she wasn't talking in earnest.

"Discipline," Hecated reasoned, "is a great thing. But it must be used cautiously. I too, have been known to _overly_ self discipline myself, but withholding life's pleasures is _not_ the way forward Mildred."

"I just feel like I'm never going to get this. I'm always so far behind - my magic just doesn't work like everybody elses!" Mildred shook her head. "Ethel's right, I'll forever be the worst witch and you were right when you said I didn't belong at Cackles. I'm not good enough."

Hecate felt a pang in her chest, she took a moment to choose her words carefully. "Without _you_ Mildred Hubble, Cackles would be no longer." she pointed out, "You have two years before you graduate. You can choose to continue along this path, making yourself ill and becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy as you fail your exams and subsequently don't make it as a successful witch, or you can choose to use your discipline for something more productive. I know which I would rather see."

Mildred sat there for a moment as Miss Hardbroom's words washed over her. She knew she was right, Miss Hardbroom was always right, but she just seemed to make it sound so easy.

Suddenly it dawned on her, the true meaning behind Miss Hardbroom's words. _I've been known to overly self discipline myself._ The fact that she seemed to almost know exactly how Mildred was feeling at mealtimes. She knew because she had felt that way herself! Mildred took a lot of comfort from that, knowing that the towering, formidable tower of strength that was Miss Hardbroom had once suffered in the same way as her.

At that moment a bright pink butterfly appeared, as if from nowhere, taking Mildred by surprise - it was far too late into Autumn for a butterfly surely. Clearly shaken from her intensity, Hecate let out a small amused chuckle as the butterfly seemed to turn into two, then three, then too many to count. A bright pink spec was just visible through the clouded horizon, but it didn't take a moment for it to come into view.

Miss Pentangle certainly knew how to fly. She straddled the broom competently between her legs, pressing firmly forward to fly at great speed. As she got closer to her destination, she hooked one leg smoothly into side-saddle position, slowing the broom right down. Pippa looked just like a fairy-tale princess, her golden blonde hair, casually coiffed into a low bun, escaping pieces waving and glinting in the sunlight. Her eyes were bright as she reached the pair, lowering her broom and dismounting in a lady-like fashion.

"Hecate!" she grinned breathlessly, Mildred watched in amazement as she enveloped her teacher into a heartfelt hug. She watched Hecate's reaction carefully, expecting her to look uncomfortable but instead seeing a wide-eyed look of longing on her face.

Hecate cleared her throat and Pippa stepped back. Continuing to gaze at each other, Mildred thought that the two older women seemed to be having a strange sort of wordless conversation, one full of slight nods and careful looks.

"Mildred, darling!" Pippa eventually left Hecate's gaze, as if she had just remembered Mildred's presence. "It's so good to see you!" she said, warm eyes adding truth to her statement.

"You too Miss Pentangle," Mildred replied candidly.

"Did you like the butterflies?" Pippa asked her, grinning.

Mildred looked at Miss Hardbroom in surprise as the teacher snorted and muttered, "Ostentatious frivolity."

"They were stunning Miss Pentangle."

xxx

"You are so unbelievably talented Mildred - they look so real!" Hecate watched as Mildred beamed with pleasure at Pippa's compliment. Pippa was flicking through Mildred's sketchbook, staring avidly at the sketches from that morning.

"She will be getting a head as large as yours if you continue like that," Hecate smirked at her friend.

Taking no offence whatsoever, Pippa grinned brightly. "Always good to gain a bit of confidence in one's abilities."

Pippa brushed a strand of Mildred's frizzy hair behind her ear, "Now Hecate, I'm sure you've planned an afternoon of potions 'fun' with young Millie here," she winked at Mildred, "but I'm hoping you won't mind if I steal her for some afternoon flying, the weather is so beautiful for October after all."

Hecate rolled her eyes, "Just don't be teaching her any bad tricks," she raised her eyebrows as Mildred grinned.

"Would I?" Pippa smiled innocently.

xxx

Mildred felt herself energized just by being in Miss Pentangle's company, almost as if the women were a battery, radiating out positivity. A smile was plastered on her face as Miss Pentangle magicked small pink beanbags for her to catch.

Many fell into the vast lake below them, but Mildred was getting better at catching. Pippa cheered and whooped with every success and Mildred felt herself growing in confidence. She got faster, and threw herself into some dives which she would never had believed she was capable of.

"Don't tell Hecate I've not made you ride side-saddle," Pippa grinned mischievously.

"I'm terrible at side-saddle!" Mildred rolled her eyes, " You and Miss Hardbroom makes it look so easy!"

"It just takes practice Millie," Pippa told her, using her nickname fondly. "I prefer to get my students to build up their broom confidence first, but I know Miss Hardbroom likes to insist on standards from day one."

"Could you teach me?" Mildred asked.

"Of course honey," Pippa smiled pleasantly at the girl. They landed on the banks of the lake where the ground lush with green grass. Miss Pentangle got the girl to mount the broom slowly.

"Hook one leg under the other a little more Millie," she ordered. "That's it! Now arch your back. keep your head held high. Perfect!"

Pippa watched in surprise as the girl took off, maintaining her form as she did so. Mildred was good at flying. She had a natural flying instinct and was clearly unafraid of heights.

A cough from behind made Pippa jump. "Hiccup!" she whined, "you scared me!"

"Just checking up on you, and Mildred's flying of course," Hecate smirked. She gazed up at the girl, even from behind she could tell that Mildred had made leaps and bounds of progress over that afternoon.

As if sensing her form-mistress's eyes, Mildred suddenly jolted round and caught sight of her new audience. Panic rose within her as she caught the gaze of those dark, impenetrable eyes.

The broom seemed to sense her distress and lowered her until her legs were almost touching the lake. She tried to raise herself higher, but the broom kept convulsing downwards, Miss Pentangle was shouting something at her, but in her panic she couldn't hear. A second later she found herself slipping, the icy cold water cushioned her fall but went straight into her lungs.

Hecate used her hand to calmly transfer the girl out of the lake, schooling her face as the girl stood dripping before her. As Mildred coughed up the excess water, Pippa waved her fingers and sent a drying spell her way.

"Thanks Miss Pentangle," Mildred coughed.

xxx

The three walked back to the cottage in the dying light.

Mildred walked off ahead, clearly frustrated with herself and wanting to be alone to brood.

Pippa felt awful for the girl, but also felt like she knew what had caused the sudden loss of confidence. She loved Hecate dearly, but was also aware that the woman could be an intimidating presence for her students.

"Hiccup," Pippa began softly, not wanting Mildred to overhear their conversation. " I think you should spend some time with Mildred tomorrow." When Hecate went to suggest something about potions classes, Pippa stopped her. "No I mean truly spend time with her.. Something _fun_."

"Potions are _fun_ ," Hecate muttered.

"Something that Mildred will _enjoy_ ," she tried again.

Hecate sighed, "She enjoys spending time with _you_ more."

"She wants your _approval_ Hiccup," Pippa said gently.

"She _has_ my approval," Hecate replied crossly, folding her arms.

"She doesn't _know_ it," Pippa countered, "She isn't relaxed enough in your company to truly be herself."

"She's my _student_ ," Hecate rolled her eyes.

"She's _more_ than that Hiccup, and you know it. You've barely stopped talking about the girl since she arrived." Pippa arched a perfect eyebrow, daring Hecate to disagree.

Hecate merely tutted in response.

xxx


	4. Caught Out

**My goodness - I am beyond grateful for the reviews and follows so far. I loved writing this chapter!**

Confidence and Control

Chapter 4: Caught Out

Looking back, Mildred would have sworn someone had performed a weather spell (and there were two grown witches capable of doing so). A black cloud swept through the air as if chasing the trio as they continued their walk back to Hecate's cottage. The no-wind soon became a huge-wind, and the first spec of rain hit Mildred squarely on the nose. "It's raining!" she called back to Miss Hardbroom and Miss Pentangle, who seemed deep in conversation. As if hearing her, and wanting to prove itself, the spec was soon followed by huge dollops of rain.

Mildred ducked for cover under the nearest tree, but that hardly protected her as the rain came thick and fast. Hecate smoothly performed a waterproof spell on herself, and raised her hands to perform one on Pippa and Mildred, but was stopped by Pippa batting down her hand. "It's like you've never danced in the rain before Hiccup," she giggled, pulling Mildred away from the tree and beginning to waltz with the amused girl.

Hecate watched the two, rolling her eyes at Pippa's childishness.

As if encouraged, Pippa began to sing:

"I'm singin' in the rain

Just singin' in the rain...

What a glorious feelin'

I'm happy again...

I'm laughing at clouds.

So dark up above

The sun's in my heart

And I'm ready for love,"

Had Mildred not been slightly dizzy from Pippa's dancing, she wouldn't have missed the smirk that Pippa sent Hecate's way.

Thunder growled above, and Miss Hardbroom gave Pippa a pointed look.

"Fine..." Pippa assented, responding to another one of their wordless conversations. Hecate gave a triumphant smile and snapped her fingers, transferring them all back to the path outside Miss Hardbroom's gate.

Hecate had made a chicken and mushroom risotto whilst the pair had been flying. The warming smell of it making Mildred instantly both hungry and nauseous as they stepped back into Miss Hardbroom's cottage.

"Go wash up Mildred," Hecate ordered briskly, clearly ill at ease with Mildred's dishevelment in her orderly kitchen. Mildred nodded, wishing to get into some cleaner clothes and run a brush through her scraggly hair.

"You're dripping all over my kitchen," Hecate raised her eyesbrows at Pippa, who grinned back cheekily. Pippa clicked her finger and was instantly dried, dried and beautiful - her hair glowing in the light of the lit candles.

Lightning cracked in the sky, and the two women raised their eyes to the window where it was still hammering it down.

"Looks like the storms set in," Hecate commented. "You must stay here tonight Pips, it's dangerous to fly in and Pentangles is too far away for even the likes of you to attempt to transfer."

Pippa nodded, "Looks like you've got yourself another houseguest," she laughed her beautiful melodic chuckle.

"As long as you're a well behaved one," Hecate quipped.,

"Cannot promise that," Pippa winked.

Pippa watched as Hecate began serving up the risotto, Hecate cut a beautiful figure from behind, her shiny hair piled on her head leaving the smooth skin of the nape of her neck. The woman was truly breathtaking, the sunset mixed with the storm outside casting seductive shadows into the room and reflecting of Hecate's pallor. Before she could stop herself, she had her hands around Hecate's small waist and mouth to her chin. Hecate's breathing caught as she placed the serving spoon down. She closed her eyes and Pippa felt her diaphragm move up and down in time with her breath. "You're so beautiful," Pippa breathed.

"You're the beautiful one," Hecated murmured back. The two began to slowly caress, it had been a long time since they had been together last and need and desire were quickly taking over.

A creak of the door jolted the two from their romantic trance. Mildred gasped softly at the sight she had witnessed. Her mind piecing it together - _of course!_ How had she not realised before?

"Mildred!" Pippa garbled, instantly letting go of Hecate, "Just checking out Hecate's cooking, I think you're going to like it!" she said in a rather high-pitched version of her voice. She was embarrassed, but knew that Hecate would be mortified at being caught. It really hadn't taken long.

Mildred grinned at Pippa's panic, and moved her eyes to Miss Hardbroom - she wouldn't catch her eye and had a faintly pink smudge across her pale cheekbones.

Still grinning, she sat at the table and Pippa went to join her. Hecate busied herself at the counter, still silent and flushed. Pippa seemed to be trying not to burst out laughing and hurried herself off to sort out drinks. She came back with a bottle of merlot which she poured into three glasses, waving her hand over the one she proffered to Mildred telling her she had removed the alcohol. "I've kept yours in Hecate, don't worry - I think we're going to need it tonight," Pippa smirked at Hecate who still looked like she had swallowed a bee.

Hecate simply nodded, as she silently continued dishing up the food. The three began to eat in an awkward silence, Mildred found the food delicious despite herself and found that concentrating on eating was a way of making the situation _slightly_ less awkward.

"I'd forgotten how good a cook you are Hecate, this is delicious," Pippa smiled. Still Miss Hardbroom didn't reply.

Once they had finished, Pippa told Hecate that she was going the bathe before bed, and left with the kind of certainty that she had done it lots before. It was clear to Mildred now, that Miss Hardbroom and Miss Pentangle had been kissing for quite some time.

Hecate gulped down her wine quickly, features becoming less stone-like and more waxy as she did. After she had set the empty glass down she braced herself, clearing her throat.

"Mildred..." she began awkwardly. Mildred looked at her form-mistress tentatively, finding that she had never really seen her so undone.

"Mildred," she tried again more assuredly, as if she had inwardly told herself off. "About what you saw..."

Mildred couldn't help but grin again. "I think it's the bats Miss Hardbroom," she told her teacher confidently.

Hecate felt a jolt to her heart, "You do?" she asked, looking at Mildred suspiciously.

"Of course," Mildred giggled, "It's _2018_ Miss Hardbroom, being a _lesbian_ is no big deal." Hecate squirmed uncomfortably at Mildred's candidity. "And Miss Pentangle is just _amazing_. You two are great together" She was beyond happy for her form-teacher, even from the little she had seen of them together she knew that the two were meant to be. They were complete opposites, and yet they seemed to just work. Mildred had never seen Hecate Hardbroom look at anyone with the same love that hit her face whenever she saw Miss Pentangle.

"She is _that_...You won't tell anyone will you? Not even Maud or Enid," Hecate asked the girl firmly, she wasn't ready for her private life to be made public. It wasn't that lesbians were frowned upon - like Mildred said, it was 2018. It was more the idea of anyone knowing her most private feelings, particularly her students.

"Your secret is safe with me Miss Hardbroom," Mildred gave a scout's honour whilst Hecate continued to look at the girl bemusedly, as if seeing her for the first time.

"Go on, go get ready for bed," Hecate instructed. "I'll bring you up a tea," she said rather softly. Mildred looked at her and smiled, enjoying this new softer and discomfited Miss Hardbroom.

Mildred made to leave, "Don't forget your sketchbook," Hecate called, transferring the book into Mildred's arms with a thud. "I'm still expecting you to revise," she told the girl pointedly. Mildred rolled her eyes before continuing towards the stairs. _And she's back!_ she thought with a sigh.

xxx

Hecate kept to her promise, and delivered a cup of green tea (this time chamomile - _for tranquillity and purification)_ to Mildred who was sitting up in her bed, flicking through her notes.

Hecate didn't waste time, shutting the book firmly, she began testing Mildred on properties of all of the herbs they had collected. Mildred was hesitant at first, but was soon reeling off what she had learnt so far. Hecate was genuinely impressed, perhaps this kind of learning was what was needed with Mildred. No distractions and using her artistic flair for a purpose.

Pippa leaned in to Mildred's room, watching the two contentedly for a moment. It was strange, Pippa thought, with their identical hair and dark eyes they looked just like a mother and daughter. _That's a thought that would horrify them both,_ Pippa smiled to herself.

"You've done satisfactory Mildred." Pippa rolled her eyes dramatically at Hecate's stifled compliment, making Mildred laugh.

"I'll spell your face so it stays like that Pentangle," Hecate threatened, not having even turned around to see that Pippa was pulling faces.

Pippa grinned at Mildred. "I'll see you in the morning Mils," she smiled softly at the girl.

"Goodnight Miss Pentangle, Miss Hardbroom," Mildred replied formally.

xx

"You looked rather sweet with young Mildred just then," Pippa teased Hecate gently, tying up her blonde locks with a pink scrunchie which matched her pink silk pajamas.

"I don't do _sweet_ ," Hecate murmured dryly.

"Secretly a softie," Pippa bit her lip at the look Hecate gave her. "In all seriousness though Hiccup, you're doing an amazing job with her."

"Amazing job or not, she will never be fully recovered," Hecate looked downcast.

"No but she can be stronger than it, strong like you," Pippa got into bed and cupped Hecate's cheek.

xxx

Hecate awoke early the next morning, watching Pippa snore softly, her little button nose twitching as she did.

Mildred's reaction had been unexpectedly amazing. Hecate knew she shouldn't have been surprised, Mildred truly did have a heart of gold. Still, she couldn't help but always be caught out when somebody breezily accepted her and Pippa. Her youth had been spent pretending not to hear the giggling conversations of her school cohort, _"Hecate the ugly dyke, clearly thinks Pippa actually returns her feelings. Following her around like a pathetic little puppy."_

She knew what Mildred said was true - it was 2018. They didn't need to hide in the closet. Yet something always stopped her from being truly honest about her real relationship with her longest friend. Mildred could count herself in just a handful of people who knew the truth.

Hecate thought back to what Pippa had said yesterday, about Mildred not truly being relaxed in her company. Maybe that was something that she should remedy, she felt like she owed the girl after all, but at the same time it was not in her nature to go easy on any of her pupils, Mildred Hubble most definitely included.

xxx

Mildred awoke early herself and mirrored her mum before she had to leave for work.

"Hi Millie-love, how you doing sweetheart?" Julie asked sympathetically.

"I'm fine Mum, honestly," Mildred replied.

"Is she still treating you ok?" Julie asked sharply.

"Mum!" Mildred laughed, "Of course she is! She's making me study though which I suppose was to be expected and has me taking about 20 cups of tea a day, alongside all the food she's making me eat," Mildred's voice caught at the end.

"Good," Julie said firmly. "I had my reservations leaving you with her Mildred, I know your relationship has been a bit up and down."

"Honestly Mum, she's been fine - great actually."

"Good," Julie repeated, "Now make sure you mind your manners and be as helpful as you can Mil."

"Yes Mum," Mildred groaned.

xxx

"Is Miss Pentangle still asleep?" Mildred asked, finding Miss Hardbroom alone at the kitchen table, steaming black coffee half drunk and a copy of _Witching Times_ in her hand.

"Good morning Mildred," Hecate greeted stiffly, "Miss Pentangle likes to sleep a little later than myself. I'm surprised you are awake."

"Early bedtime," Mildred quipped.

"Bedtime is not up for discussion," Hecate raised her eyebrows challengingly.

Mildred sat down quickly and helped herself to coffee. Hecate passed her a plate of thick wholemeal toast, butter oozing tantalisingly down the sides. Her eyebrows still long and thin as she waited for Mildred to begin eating.

Mildred complied with a defeated sigh, her bites still small and tentative. _At least she's eating,_ Hecate thought to herself.

"In light of your hard work yesterday Mildred, I was wondering if you would like to do something _fun_ today," Mildred had to school her face to stop herself from laughing out loud at the way Miss Hardbroom had said _fun,_ like it was a struggle for her to get her mouth around the word.

"What did you have in mind?" Mildred asked, desperate to sound sensible rather than bemused.

Hecate did her best to make her voice sound light and casual, "I was thinking we could go down to the lake again. Broomstick water-skiing was always one of my favourite activities when I was your age. I think you might like it."

Mildred beamed a smile so wide, Hecate thought she would be swallowed.

"Really!?" she gaped, "Will you show me how Miss Hardbroom? I've never tried it before." Mildred suddenly envisaged her form-mistress in swimming garb and had to bite her lip from bursting out laughing at the thought - she'd never even seen Miss Hardbroom's ankles.

"Merlin, no!" Hecate's face creased, "I'm far too old for that girl!" When Mildred went to protest she added, "No need to be _kind_ Mildred. I _won't_ be showing you, but I will teach you the spells required and supervise you."

Mildred grinned, "Thanks Miss Hardbroom."

xx


	5. Strength

Confidence and Control

Chapter 5: Strength

 **I swear I am constantly writing this, but it seems to be taking me forever to get it down at the moment! Doing my best and loving the process, which is what it's all about. Thank you to those who have reviewed and let me know that they are liking this so far. It honestly does make my day to read your comments.**

xx

"Miss Hardbroom's taking me broomstick water-skiing!" Mildred practically sang as soon as Pippa had seated herself at the table.

Pippa pushed the last bit of sleep from her eye, wincing slightly at Mildred's sheer loudness, but smirking at Hecate triumphantly. "That's great, Millie," she grinned.

"I've always wanted to try it, Enid's forever going on about how fun it is," Mildred garbled happily, but the two adults were lost in a silent conversation again.

"Well I'm glad the weather has sorted itself out anyway for you Millie, and I'll enjoy flying in that," Pippa smiled softly once the girl had finished. The weather had indeed returned to out-of-season sunshine.

"Oh are you going home Miss Pentangle?" Mildred's eyebrows furrowed.

"Back to Pentangles Mildred, I've a couple of reports to write and some curriculum plans to look through." Mildred felt a strange pang in her stomach. The place would be awfully quiet without Pippa, _Miss Hardbroom_ would be awfully quiet without Pippa.

"Are you coming back?" Mildred asked.

"Mildred!" Miss Hardbroom glared at the girl's impertinence.

Pippa chuckled gently, "I'd be happy to come back," she murmured, looking at Hecate.

Hecate's narrowed eyes softened at Pippa's round green eyes. She looked at Mildred who already seemed so much more relaxed and at peace - she knew this was largely down to Pippa's constant stream of positivity. Mildred would certainly benefit from Pippa spending the week. That was the reason her brain gave her; her heart gave her a different reason. "I'd be happy to have you back," Hecate said a little shyly.

It would be hard to judge whose smile was the largest, Mildred's or Pippa's. Hecate of course wouldn't be in the running, but those that knew her best would notice the strange slight upward curve of her cheekbones.

xxx

Pippa took off with her usual flourish, waving like royalty to Hecate and Mildred as she did. She had promised to get all of her work done that day, and be back by evening. She had whispered something in Hecate's ear before she took off, nodding her head towards Mildred as Hecate rolled her eyes by way of an answer.

The house felt suddenly less colourful without all the pink, and Mildred was glad that they were going to be spending the day outdoors. The weather was calm but breezy, all traces of the rain had disappeared. "Perfect conditions," Miss Hardbroom had nodded curtly as the two stepped outside. "Do you mind the walk Mildred, or would you rather I transfer us?"

Mildred smiled, "I don't mind the walk Miss Hardbroom."

"Neither do I," Hecate affirmed.

The two began the now easy path towards the lake, Hecate's brisk walking no longer left Mildred trailing behind - she was growing in strength each day.

"Have you always lived here Miss Hardbroom?" Mildred asked once the silence had gotten the better of her.

"No." Hecate replied simply. She took a moment, as if deciding whether to elaborate, "I grew up in a much larger house, on the very edge of Scotland. I inherited it a decade ago, but it was much too large for one person."

 _Inherited,_ Mildred thought _, that must mean she's no family left._ Mildred felt a pang of sadness at that. It explained so much about Hecate's natural standoffishness.

"I suppose if you're mostly at school anyway," Mildred lamented. "I'd hate to live in a big house all by myself. I'd be so lonely."

"Support is always important, but learning to be at peace with your own company is also crucial," Hecate pursed her lips thoughtfully.

"Easier said than done," Mildred replied, "Anyways you've got Miss Pentangle for company."

Hecate didn't reply, but began moving her pursed lips from side to side agitatedly.

Mildred continued feeling rather bravely that she almost wanted to push her formmistress's buttons, "I'm so glad you have found each other, like soulmates, It's so lovely. _Fated._ Like Romeo and Juliet but without the nasty deaths at the end." She gave Hecate a cheeky smile, a smile that clearly suggested she knew what she was doing.

Hecate stopped in her tracks and glared fiercely, Mildred's impertinence had gone too far. "You are to _stop_ that Mildred Hubble. Another starstruck comment from you and I will have you writing lines until your hand drops off."

Mildred tried, she really tried, but she couldn't stop the giggle that rose up into her throat at Miss Hardbroom's dramatic reaction. The giggle escaped before Mildred could clap her hand over her mouth.

Hecate stared at the girl dumbfounded, she really was fearless. "Are you laughing at me _Mildred Hubble_?" she breathed disbelievingly.

"N- no - nooo," Mildred tried to quell her laughter, but had bordered on hysterical. The more she tried to stop, the more it just seemed to escape.

Hecate's face did a strange little twitching dance, as she struggled to control her expression. She tried to keep her composure, to stay strict and stern but Mildred's wide, slightly fearful eyes paired with her quivering cheeks and goofy bitten smile really did look comical. Hecate found that for once she couldn't help herself, and let out a hearty chuckle.

Taking it as permission, Mildred let her laughter well and truly escape.

Hecate realised in that moment how long it had been since she had last seen Mildred laughing. Laughter suited the child, _teen,_ Hecate mentally corrected herself. Mildred Hubble was quickly turning into a rather remarkable young woman.

It was sweet, how much she wanted Hecate to be happy with Pippa, how much she _cared_. She had a huge heart, a huge capacity to be kind. Hecate really did mean what she had said about having high expectations for Mildred. Despite her lack of witching knowledge (which was only to be expected with the girl's background) she had a huge magical signature, probably matched to Pippa's or Hecate's herself. The girl only had a few more years left at Cackles, then she would be entering the big, wide world. Was she strong enough, would she be strong enough?

Perhaps Pippa was right, perhaps she should improve her relationship with Mildred, at least try to make her feel more relaxed in her presence. After all, she was more thatn likely to volunteer to be her form-mistress for her remaining years at Cackles and after the events of the last week, Hecate felt like their paths were irrevocably intertwined anyway.

Mildred stopped laughing eventually, but gave Hecate a huge thankful grin. She was thankful she hadn't been cursed into oblivion and that the older woman had decided to loosen up a little.

The two continued on their path towards the lake. Mildred was desperate for a conversation starter. Something. _Anything. Bingo,_ "Is that Meadow Saffron Miss Hardbroom?" she asked, eyes rested on a small patchy cluster of purple flowers adjacent to the path.

Hecate moved closer to the patch that Mildred had pointed out. The pretty mauve lily-like flowers were easily identifiable to Hecate, but she was impressed that Mildred knew what they were.

"I might make a potioneer out of you yet," Hecate gave a tight disbelieving smile. "Do you know their properties?"

Mildred felt that familiar panic arise within her, wanting to impress. She knew a little, but most definitely not enough to impress the all-knowing Miss Hardbroom. She breathed deeply, calming herself and mentally told herself off, _Just be honest.- Miss Hardbroom will see it as a learning opportunity anyway._

 _She might shout at you..._ her inner illogical brain began to argue.

 _Don't be ridiculous Mildred! She's been_ nice _to you this week._

"I know they can be toxic, but also have healing powers," Mildred bit her lip.

Hecate felt that pang of pride that teacher's have the monopoly on. "Yes, they are toxic but if correctly handled can be beneficial to a great range of healing potions." She went on to explain more, how the petals would penetrate human cells so must be handled with gloves and which other herbs they paired well with. Mildred listened with rapt attention. Miss Hardbroom's passion didn't quite come across as well in a potion's lab surrounded by potentially hazardous students, but out here... You could see that the woman lived and breathed potions. It was so much a part of her that it almost felt rude not to share in that passion yourself.

"You've learnt a great deal in the last couple of days," Miss Hardbroom noted.

"It's hard not to when you're surrounded by it all," Mildred replied, Hecate noticed slightly proudly.

"Good," Hecate nodded her approval. "You were improving you know, before all of this started. I think Miss Hallow realised as much too, jealousy can do huge things to people. You are lucky you don't seem to possess that emotion."

"Is that why you didn't say anything?" Mildred asked quietly as she stared at her shoelaces. Hecate knew instantly what the girl was getting at, remembering how it had looked through Mildred's eyes. She was almost relieved that the girl had brought it up so she could answer for herself.

"Oh I said some things alright, " Hecate smirked slightly at her own memory of Ethel's detention. How she had very quickly torn down the girl's arrogance when she had been made to scrub the potion's lab until blisters had formed. "She was adequately punished."

Mildred felt caught out, dumbfounded, "But she said _nothing_ about detention," Mildred narrowed her eyes.

"She wouldn't, would she?" Hecate raised her eyebrows.

Mildred was silent for a while, she felt guilty. Guilty that she had unfairly accused Miss Hardbroom of favouritism. It didn't make any sense really, looking back. Miss Hardbroom enjoyed punishing their wrongdoings, any student's wrongdoings, Ethel's included, and she was far too faithful to any discipline procedure to pick and choose who was let off. She gave Miss Hardbroom a small nod, slightly lost for words.

xx

They had reached the lake, Mildred felt the excitement from that morning rise up in her.

Miss Hardbroom settled down the bag and broom she had been carrying under a tree on the pebbled beach. Snapping her fingers, she held up a fully black wetsuit for Mildred, magicking a changing tent for the girl's privacy. "Get your hair out of your face too," she glared at Mildred's hair, which had grown even more wild in the walk. She held out a black hair-tie, which Mildred took with a small smirk.

Mildred got changed, and did her best to gather her hair into a bun. She emerged from the tent to find Miss Hardbroom crouched over the broom, chanting mutely as she tied it to a pair of skis.

"You look the part," she nodded her approval until her eyes rested on Mildred's terrible attempt at hair. "Come here," she called softly with a grimace. Mildred came face-to-face with Hecate, who gestured with her fingers to turn around. She felt her hair being taken (surprisingly carefully) from its haphazard bun and then felt long bony fingers near her scalp. Mildred wondered if magic was being used as she felt strange prickling sensations coming from the fingers as it smoothed her scalp. In a matter of moments, the fingers released her. "Better," Hecate affirmed looking at the handiwork. Mildred used her fingers to feel the now smoothed bun on top of her head.

Mildred suddenly realised something. "All in black, a bun on top of my head..." she trailed off as Hecate gave her an unamused look.

" _Don't_ ," the teacher warned.

"Mildred _Hubble!_ " she hissed in her scarily accurate impersonation.

Hecate glared down at the girl, "Not nearly terrifying enough."

Mildred smirked, "Not _nearly_ terrifying enough..." she muttered under her breath.

xxx

Hecate showed the girl how to cast the spell on the broomstick, "The challenge is to maintain your connection with the broom at all times. You need to concentrate at first on channelling your energy. You want slow and steady at first, trust in your ability Mildred, the broom will sense any fear."

Mildred placed the broom into the water and looked back at Hecate, who was standing with her hands on her hips. "I'm watching Mildred, I won't let you drown," she told the girl seriously.

It was strange, Mildred thought at that moment, just how much her opinion of Miss Hardbroom had changed in the last two days. That frank conversation in the garden, seeing her with Pippa, knowing that she had in fact punished Ethel...Simply knowing that a softer side existed was enough. She didn't even mind the harsh side so much anymore, knowing that she was being harsh out of care.

Taking a bated breath, Mildred walked to the water's edge. Miss Hardbroom had taught her the spell needed to walk on top and as Mildred took her first step (with scrunched up eyes) she was relieved to find it had worked. The water below felt strange: hard, yet flexible, almost like she was walking on shatter-proof plastic.

"It worked!" she called to Miss Hardbroom, who rolled her eyes.

"Of _course_ it did girl. Now throw your broomstick a few metres ahead and complete the spell. Place yourself onto the skis and say - 'go' - _confidence_ is key."

Mildred set herself on the skis and threw her broom like Miss Hardbroom had told her. "Go!" she ordered, as confidently as she could. She was relieved to find that the skis began to cut through the water as the broom began to take charge. The water became un plastic like, but she found she herself rooted to her skis, which was ideal as the initial movement had made her lose balance. When she had regained herself she glanced over at Hecate who had her pinkie finger outstretched. "Thanks Miss Hardbroom," she called, knowing it had been her who had stopped her from falling.

After that, Mildred began to enjoy herself. The breeze whipped through her exposed ears and she was thankful for the lack of hair in her face. She began to exert control over the broom, finding she could slow it down or speed it up just from her thoughts. It was tiring though, she had to maintain the connection in order to accelerate, as soon as her concentration dipped the broom would slow.

She began to go faster. Hecate had given up watching her and had returned to her place under the tree, book in hand.

"Wooooooooooooooooooo!" Mildred cheered as she made a fast figure of eight, spray shooting up at her. "This is amazing!" she yelled. She carried on squealing as she began to try harder and harder manoeuvres.

Hecate raised one eye from her book. "I share your sentiments Mildred, but do you have to be so _loud_? A silencing spell might do you some good," she threatened with a smirk.

Mildred carried on squealing regardless, Hecate didn't comment any further so Mildred knew it had been an empty threat.

xxx

Once Mildred had finally had enough, Hecate performed both a drying and a warming spell on the now shivering girl. "I can see why you liked that so much Miss Hardbroom," Mildred smiled up at her teacher.

"It allows you to practise maintaining a magical connection, which strengthens a witch's ability to perform under pressure," Hecate replied smoothly.

"That, and it's _fun_ ," Mildred smirked. "What do we have planned for the rest of the day?" Mildred asked.

"Rest for you I think," Hecate gave the girl a once over, knowing that once the adrenalin had settled she would be exhausted, "You may read, or sketch, or complete any of your homework."

"The only homework I have is _potions_ ," Mildred grumbled.

"Well if you would like more Mildred, it can soon be arranged," Hecate pursed her lips as the two made their way back along the path.

"Could you help me?" Mildred questioned bravely, "Are you allowed to help me? Or is that classed as favouritism - well not _favouritism_ exactly as I know you don't have favourites and if you did it probably wouldn't be _me_ with all the trouble I cause, I just mean are you allowed to help? With you assessing? I mean I'm sure lots of parents help, and well my mum's not magical so she...- " she babbled.

"Mildred," Hecate cut her off. Rolling her eyes she replied dryly, "Of course I will help."

Mildred gave a soft smile, "I need to raise my grade don't I?" she questioned, already knowing the answer.

"You do. Yes. I don't want to see you leave Cackles with anything lower than a B," Hecate made it almost sound like a threat, but then she added, "You've time though, plenty of time to prove that coming from a non-magical background does not matter."

xx


	6. Real Love

Confidence and Control

Chapter 6: Real Love

 **Honestly must be one of the slowest writers on here. Spent ages on this update and it's not even a long one!**

 **Thanks for the great comments on the last chapter.**

xx

Mildred found herself surrounded by books, all of which Miss Hardbroom said would be 'useful'. She didn't even know where to start. She sighed, turning over another page.

Hecate came into the study presenting a chicken sandwich, a mug of blackberry tea and some lemon biscuits. "The biscuits aren't optional," she told the girl, "You will have used more energy than you think this morning."

Mildred glared at the offending biscuits, turning her glare onto Hecate. " _Don't_ even try it," Hecate warned, increasing the intensity of her own gaze until a defeated Mildred looked away.

She sat herself in an armchair, opening her book and turning pages between watching Mildred eat. The girl ate the sandwich in small munching bites and acted like the biscuits were poisonous.

Once she had done, Hecate zapped the plates away. Mildred sighed dramatically as she reopened her potion's textbook. The task Hecate had set her 4th years was to argue the benefits and disadvantages of using powered ingredients as opposed to fresh. It was a task that was closed to Hecate's heart. She was one of the few witches that always preferred the potency of fresh over the convenience of powdered.

Mildred sighed again, flicking through the book agitatedly.

"Stop" Hecate raised her eyebrows at the frustrated teen. "Deep breath," she ordered. "You need to make an essay plan first Mildred, bullet point the advantages and disadvantages. Interweave linking points, showing that you have considered both parts of the argument. Then conclude - sum up what you have written."

Mildred nodded, starting a list on a fresh piece of paper. She listed every reason she could think of, and a few more that she had found in Miss Hardbroom's books.

When she was out of ideas, she passed it over to Miss Hardbroom sheepishly. "Is that enough?" she asked.

Hecate looked through the list. "Very comprehensive," she complimented truthfully. "Now use your pen to draw lines to those that are counter arguments," she instructed, "Don't worry about neatness - it's a plan after all."

Mildred did just that, showing it to Hecate afterwards. "Good," she nodded, "Now begin. Introduce the question, then get to the arguments. Start with a strong argument, place the weaker ones in the middle and end with your strongest.

xxx

It was strangely useful for Hecate to see Mildred in the process of writing. To Hecate, essay writing had always been instinctual, something that she was good at - but couldn't really remember learning. Mildred clearly found it more difficult, but as much of her 5th year Witching Levels would be coursework based she needed to get better and fast.

"I _think_ I'm done," Mildred turned around to face her teacher.

"Have you _checked_ it?" Hecate asked smoothly, not liking the word 'think'.

Mildred's grimace was the clear answer. Hecate swallowed her building agitation, she had promised Pippa that she wouldn't lose her temper with the teen and she was always a woman of her word.

Waving her pinkie she send a red spark through the air which landed on the essay, circling and underlining grammatical mistakes. "Wowww" Mildred gasped.

Hecate smirked at Mildred's rather dumb amazement, feeling her mood instantly dropping. "The red will disappear once the mistake has been corrected."

Mildred set about perfecting her essay, wondering how Miss Hardbroom managed to spend all her time working when she clearly had some very useful, time-saving spells at her disposal. Mildred knew Miss Hardbroom was a powerful witch, but the amazement of seeing her wordlessly cast spells would never falter.

"Sorted," Mildred smiled strangely happily, she knew it was the best essay she had written in a long time. She was actually excited to hand it in.

"That spell truly is useful Miss Hardbroom," Mildred shook her head. "Is there a verbal version?"

"No, I'm afraid not," Hecate told the girl. "Have you tried any non-verbal spells yet?" Hecate asked, knowing Ada was always reluctant to teach them as some girls were incapable of the power needing to cast them, and it would always cause self-esteem and division problems within the class.

"Not yet," Mildred bit her lip. "We the theory next week. I don't think I'm going to be able to."

Hecate looked at the girl disbelievingly. The girl clearly didn't get it still, didn't understand that it was not a lack of power that led to her mistakes, but rather a lack of controlled powered, paired with a huge amount of magic just wanting to escape from her.

"Mildred, you are more than capable of learning non-verbal spells, it actually might be good for you. Raise your confidence a bit. Tomorrow," Hecate told her, cutting her off as she started to protest. "Miss Pentangle is a fantastic spells teacher, and I'm sure she would be happy to help us."

Mildred nodded, "Thanks Miss Hardbroom." It took a moment for Mildred to realise that she had pluralized the pronoun. She smiled inwardly at the fact that Miss Hardbroom was planning on teaching her herself, wondering when the idea of Miss Hardbroom teaching her anything had stopped filling her with dread.

xxx

When Pippa Pentangle returned it was in a blaze of fuchsia. The butterflies were absent, but in their stead came an outpouring of purple and magenta fire-flies, which zoomed around Mildred as she sat in the courtyard waiting for the woman's arrival.

"Original," Hecate smirked derisively, but Mildred caught that strangely warm glint in Hecate's eye that could only have come from knowing she would be reunited with Pippa momentarily.

Hecate had announced that since Mildred had been cooped up that afternoon working hard on her essay, they would have supper outside. Mildred had to bite her lip from commenting on whether Pippa's impending re-arrival had anything to do with that decision. She didn't want to push her luck too much with Miss Hardbroom, despite the fact that the woman had been in a good mood all day. Mildred had been adorned with many thick grey blankets and a warming spell had been placed on the dinner candle in the middle of the table, so that it not only provided a beautiful flame, but an intense disproportionate heat akin to a blaring fire.

Hecate didn't have any blankets on herself and Mildred found it odd that she didn't appear to be cold. If anything, Miss Hardbroom's icy demeanour had taken on a warmer glow than usual.

The pink fireflies seemed to be following the blonde witch in the sky, guiding her way back to the cottage in the starlight. Mildred smiled up at Pippa, watching her elegantly descend towards the other two.

"Don't you two look the picture of contentment," Pippa commented as a greeting, looking to and from Hecate and Mildred. Transferring her bag and broom away, she kissed Mildred on the cheek and went to do the same to Hecate, who definitely blushed as she swooped in.

"I hope you've had a good day?" Pippa beamed as she joined the other two at the table.

"I skied!" Mildred grinned.

"How was she?" Pippa asked, knowing the answer from Mildred's reaction but forcing Hecate to say it.

"Very skilled," Hecate rolled her eyes. "She makes as much noise as you."

Pippa spat out a bit of her wine as she started to choke on her chortle. Hecate instantly realised what she had said, but stoically refused to laugh at Pippa's insinuation.

Thankfully Mildred hadn't quite realised what Pippa was laughing at, and looked at her in bemusement.

"Fly," Pippa said sheepishly, her eyes still glinting at Hecate. She made a real pretence at pretending to scoop something out with her finger.

xx

"Well of course I can help," Pippa nodded in enthusiasm at Hecate who had just mentioned the earlier conversation on non-verbal spells.

"I always found them easier actually Millie! What?" she said glaring at Hecate. "They are if you've not the memory for spells. It's more of a feeling kind of thing, instinctual you know? We teach it earlier on at Pentangles but it's more traditional to learn it after you've mastered verbal spells. They don't work for everyone though - but neither do words!" Pippa laughed.

"It takes concentration and control," Hecate glared back at her friend. "Once you have opened that door you must learn to control your emotions, to not let them get the best of you or else you could spell before even realising. It's a _responsibility_."

" _Fun,_ " Pippa bit her lip to stop laughing. Mildred tried but couldn't contain herself for long. Hecate glared at the pair, but Mildred could tell that how ever convincing the glare might be, it was only mock annoyance.

Hecate looked at her watch. "Bed, Mildred," she ordered smoothly.

Mildred huffed slightly and looked at Pippa for support, but Pippa only shrugged her shoulders, knowing it was ultimately Hecate's decision.

"Goodnight, Miss Pentangle, Miss Hardbroom," Mildred nodded at the pair. Pippa swooped the girl into a huge hug, resting her chin for a moment on top of Mildred's wiry hair.

"I'll come check on you in half an hour Mildred," Hecate asserted.

Mildred smiled shyly at Miss Hardbroom before making her way back into the cottage.

Pippa smirked at Hecate, "Well done Hiccup."

"What?" Hecate asked coyly.

"She seemed like the old Mildred tonight," Pippa smiled.

"She was excited to see you again, that's all," Hecate countered.

"No," Pippa argued, "It's most definitely _you_. I could almost tell from the sky. Her _aura_ ," Pippa laughed as Hecate rolled her eyes.

"Hmmm," Hecate neither agreed nor disagreed. Mildred had seemed very relaxed tonight, she had eaten the chicken casserole Hecate had prepared almost readily, even taking a slice of bread to mop up the sauce.

xx

Mildred watched the two women covertly from her upstairs window. It was funny, she thought, she had never considered Miss Hardbroom to be pretty - not like Miss Pentangle's universal good looks. But in the moonlight, with her hair slightly relaxed (a rather severe high ponytail, but a ponytail nonetheless), the angles of her face gave it character, her dark eyes glittered both dangerously and intelligently and her curling lips had softened into a perfect cupid's bow. Overall it made her look, not pretty (the connotations being soft and delicate, of which she was neither), but most certainly striking.

Pippa giggled at something Hecate had said and Mildred saw the almost wicked glint in Hecate's eye as she began to caress the other teacher's hand next to the flame. Mildred found it mesmerizing - never really seeing real love before.

Smiling softly, she settled into bed, feeling like she didn't want to intrude on their private moments for too long, no matter how fascinating she found it.

xx

Pippa followed Hecate into Mildred's room carefully, not wanting to wake the sleeping teen. Hecate rolled her eyes at Pippa's tip-toeing, she herself somehow managing to walk both effortlessly and silently.

"She's worn out!" Pippa smiled at the sight.

"Good," Hecate nodded, "Sleep helps to heal." She brought the blanket up to Mildred's cheek carefully, turning off the bedside lamp and exited the room with Pippa trailing behind as she led the way to her bedroom.

Pippa couldn't stop smiling at Hecate's almost motherly actions towards Mildred. "You really care for her, don't you?"

Hecate's teeth played with her lip uncomfortably, "However cold I may appear, I care for all of my pupils, Pippa, Mildred included."

"Oh give over!" Pippa laughed, "We all know teachers truly do have favourites, and they're never the teacher's pets!"

"I definitely could not describe Mildred as that," Hecate smirked.

"We like a challenge, _you_ in particular like a challenge!"

"Maybe so, but I refuse to play favourites," Hecate shot Pippa a look.

Pippa laughed, "That's practically a confession Hiccup."

xxx


	7. Cut from the Same Cloth

Confidence and Control

Chapter 7: Cut from the Same Cloth

 **Look at this - fast update! Thank you to those that reviewed the last chapter - it means the world to me.**

 **I absolutely love writing Julie Hubble.**

xxx

Hecate knew that Pippa had been jesting, but couldn't get that night's conversation out of her head. Did she care for Mildred Hubble? Yes of course, but that would have been the standard answer if it were asked about any of her Cackle's pupils. Was Mildred her _favourite_?

Hecate wasn't so sure on that one. If someone had asked her a month ago she would have thought without doubt that if anyone deserved that title it was Esmeralda Hallow, the classic over-achiever who Hecate respected for her power and identified with for her grades. Mildred was a lot more uncouth, massively unpredictable and yet despite her anxiety had a massive zest for life.

 _Had_ a massive zest for life, Hecate thought with grinding teeth. Although glimpses of that zest were slowly beginning to reappear.

Mildred was improving, it was just a long journey. Hecate could almost breathe a sigh of relief that Pippa thought that their relationship had got better, knowing that she was one of the contributing factors for Mildred's illness. That had been a hard pill to swallow, but they were heading in the right direction - it would just take more time.

Ethel's continued bullying would be a much harder thing to stop. Even if she tried to punish it out of her, the girl had jealousy so deep inside that she would just end up continuing on the sly and Mildred being Mildred wouldn't want to retaliate by telling any of the school staff. Hecate understood that kind of meekness at the hands of bullies - despite being a strong no-nonsense kind of person now, she had let her peers get away with calling her all manner of things when she was a girl.

There was also the matter of Mildred's father. From her reaction that day in class, she knew Mildred must think about him more often than she let on. Mildred clearly believed that she had been abandoned by him, illogically believing that it was because she wasn't good enough. Julie Hubble seemed the kind that easily took on the role of single parent, Mildred was lucky in that respect, but the girl had clearly wondered, and her anxiety combined with Ethel had created a story for her to believe.

She needed to speak to Julie Hubble, that much was clear to Hecate.

xxx

"Pippa - can you do something with Mildred today? I need to meet with her mother," Hecate asked seriously once Pippa had slowly blinked open an eye.

"Of course I can Hiccup," Pippa nodded sleepily. "Although I'm not teaching her non-verbal spells by myself," Pippa added pointedly.

"You're more than capable Pipsqueak," Hecate argued.

Pippa shook her head, Hecate was missing the point completely, "I'm not putting myself down Hiccup, I just know that Mildred would appreciate being taught by you. It shows you have faith in her - she needs that."

Hecate couldn't help but smile softly at Pippa and her clear sensitivity for Mildred's needs. She was right, it would send the right message.

"Later," Hecate promised, "I won't let either of you down."

xxx

Hecate had used her _'I'm the teacher - don't argue with me'_ voice to stop Mildred from asking too many questions when she told the girl she had some errands to run.

It was strange, Hecate found, to have a teenager pout about her leaving, but Mildred had definitely done just that.

"I'll be back for this afternoon Mildred," she found herself promising rather softly.

Mildred nodded softly as she began to squish her porridge around her bowl.

" _Don't_ play with your food," she raised her eyebrows at Mildred, who began gingerly spooning the porridge into her mouth.

"We can go flying again Millie - you improved so much last time," Pippa said, sweetly not mentioning anything about the fall into the lake.

"Thanks Miss Pentangle," Mildred nodded, but was still watching Hecate closely.

xxx

Hecate had always struggled with anything non-magical and so it took her the best part of ten minutes to figure out how the elevator worked in Julie Hubble's block of flats. She hadn't wanted to transfer into the corridor, knowing from overhearing Mildred mention the residents enough times that she might startle a few. An elderly man got into the elevator with her, giving her a widened stare through his thickly rimmed glasses.

"You alright love?" the man asked. Clearly it wasn't just Julie Hubble who excessively used the word.

Hecate kept quiet, glaring at the man with her arms folded.

"You new to the building?" he queried, staring at Hecate's long black dress. "Don't get many like you around here."

"Visiting," Hecate replied huffily, stepping out of the electric doors.

"Shame," the man called after her. "Nice to see a pretty face around here. I like the goth look."

Had the doors not closed on the man, Hecate would have been tempted to turn the man into a frog for his impertinence or at least to _threaten_ it. Instead Hecate hissed her disapproval before stomping her way over to Julie Hubble's door.

She knocked, resisting the urge to transfer straight in now that she knew the corridor was deserted.

The door opened almost immediately showing a very dishevelled looking Julie Hubble. Her wiry curly hair was plastered around her head and her eyes were heavy looking. Night shift, Hecate remembered. Julie Hubble had tried to explain her complicated shift patterns previously, it was one of the reasons they both had agreed Hecate would be best to look after Mildred.

"Miss Hardbroom?" Julie questioned, snapping immediately out of her grogginess. "Is something wrong? Where's Mildred?"

"Nothing's wrong Ms Hubble," Hecate replied formally. "May I come in?"

"Not like you to knock," Julie muttered as she held the door open. "I'm surprised you didn't just transfer me over to your place."

Hecate took in the flat. It was clean, tidy and organised despite the extra hours Julie was working. Blankets adorned the sofas and every surface was taken up with a knick-knack of some sort, as were the walls. Many were hand-drawn sketches or watercolours of pleasant landscapes; Hecate could detect Mildred's rather distinct style. It was altogether... cosy.

"Tea?" Julie offered.

"Thank you Ms Hubble, milk - no sugar" Hecate accepted.

"Please sit," Julie gestured to the wooden chairs of the dining table, ill at ease with Hecate's awkward standing. "And please, call me Julie."

"Julie," Hecate tried out the name.

Julie passed Hecate a cup of steaming brown tea and settled into the seat opposite her.

"How is she?" Julie started. "Truthfully I mean, she tells me she's fine.. but clearly she's not."

Hecate took a sip thoughtfully, "She's on the right path."

Julie stared at Hecate, trying to glean more from her guarded expression, "She says you're a good cook," Julie raised her eyebrow.

"She is eating. That's the main thing," Hecate nodded. "She is gaining back her strength."

"I have you to thank for that," Julie looked at Hecate seriously. "I'm sure she would have tried all kinds of tricks with me."

Hecate didn't disagree, Mildred most definitely would still try to get away with not eating if she could and it was only the fear Mildred held for Hecate's powerful magic that kept her from trying anything.

"The issue is Ms Hub - Julie," Hecate corrected, "is that body dismorphia will always be a tough battle, for anyone, but it's really important that we do all we can to cut off the source of the anxiety. It's a need to control, to control situations that make us feel _worthless_.

"You know a lot about it," Julie peered at Hecate thoughtfully.

"I do," Hecate accepted with a small grimace. It took her a moment to reach Julie Hubble's eyes, but when she did she found something more akin to respect than the pity she feared.

"So she will _never_ fully be over it?" Julie questioned, not wanting to ask too many personal questions of the formidable Hecate Hardbroom, but needing to know for her daughter's sake.

"Never fully, no," Hecate replied lowly. "There will always be times where Mildred will be feeling particularly stressed and symptoms will begin to take hold. It doesn't necessarily mean that she will become fully bulimic again, she can be stronger than it and I'm hoping that she will," Hecate explained.

"She's got a bit of steel in her," Julie nodded.

"That she does," Hecate agreed.

"So what caused it this time round?" Julie questioned the question that Hecate both dreaded and knew would be imminent.

Hecate sighed dramatically. "A few factors. _Ethel_ of course.."

"And I'm trusting you dealt with her," Julie quipped.

Hecate's expression turned sinister by way of an answer.

"That rotten spoilt _brat_ ," Julie mumbled, Hecate pretended not to hear.

" _I_ was also another contributing factor," she muttered.

Julie stared at her. "Don't be silly Miss Hardbroom, Mildred thinks the world of you. _Terrified_ mind you, but I think that's natural," Julie looked Hecate up and down.

Hecate tried to take comfort in Julie's words, but they were kinder than what she felt like she deserved. "Ms Hubble -"

"Julie," Julie cut her off.

" _Julie_ ," Hecate tried again. "If you will _let_ me apologise to you, I owe you one. I have perhaps not done the best by your daughter. I've been overly critical."

"You are overly critical," Julie frowned, "But that's not something to apologise for Miss Hardbroom, you can't help but be you," Julie reasoned.

"I should have _helped_!" Hecate raised her voice in a final sort of way.

Julie looked at the woman in front of her. The times she had met Miss Hardbroom over the years (and Julie assumed it had been a lot more than any other parent with Mildred's attachment to trouble) she had never failed to be intrigued by this unearthly woman: A woman whose face was always unreadable unless it spelled 'You're in trouble'. She had never seen her face look so openly pained before.

She reached across the table, grabbing Hecate's hand. She had expected to feel cold, stone-like skin but found to her surprise a hand that was warm and remarkably human.

"You're helping now," Julie said with calm surety. "And I can't thank you enough for that."

Julie let go of her hand, allowing the woman to take a long gulp from her cup. Julie was impressed at how quickly the woman regained her calm. It was like she practised, but then Julie thought - she probably did.

Hecate started again, "When I entered Mildred's mind that day.. There was a clear feeling of _abandonment_ \- Ethel had mentioned her father."

Julie took a sharp breath, "That _girl_ , I swear if she continues this-"

"She won't be saying anything about her father again, I can assure you," Hecate's eyes darkened.

"He did _abandon_ her, but Mildred hadn't even been born yet. He never met her - it was more the idea of a baby," Julie explained softly. "I didn't mind - I loved her enough for two the moment she was conceived."

"Mildred needs to know that," Hecate asserted. "You're a great mum Julie...-"

"Deep praise indeed from Miss High and Mighty," Julie quipped using the nickname she had previously come up with.

"-.. But it's natural for her to wonder."

"You've experienced this too, haven't you?" Julie realised.

Hecate sighed, Julie Hubble really was irritatingly intelligent. "My mother," she mumbled softly, "I never met her."

Julie looked at Miss Hardbroom sadly, it explained so much. "I'm sorry Hecate," she replied, bravely using her first-name.

"My father was a _great_ man," she added rather proudly and Julie smiled in response.

"You've a lot more in common with Mildred than anyone would have guessed," Julie raised her eyebrows.

Hecate was taken aback by that, "Yes, I suppose I do," she assented with a rather curt nod.

xxx

The two drank the rest of their tea in a companionable silence, clearly thinking about the conversation they had just shared.

"Hecate..." Julie broke the silence as Miss Hardbroom started to stand.

Hecate placed her dark brown gaze back on Julie's own. It was strange for her to hear another call her 'Hecate', a name reserved for Pippa or Ada, yet she found strangely that she didn't mind it so much from Julie Hubble.

"I will speak to Mildred about her father tonight when she mirrors. But I was thinking... This _abandonment_ thing..."

"Yes..?" Hecate queried.

" _You,_ " Julie bravely maintained her eye contact. "She's going to need you just as much when she's back at school."

"I'm in the process of freeing up some time each week, _each day_ if she needs it," Hecate mumbled her half-thought-out plan.

"And that's great. But you can't be her form-mistress forever. She's leaving in a few years and then what?"

"I don't know what you're asking," Hecate frowned.

"Neither do I..." Julie grimaced. "It's just something for us to think about.."

xxx


	8. Determination

**My goodness thanks for all the positivity on the last chapter. I've had some really interesting insights from reviewers both here and on Archive Of Our Own. My major intention in writing this was to delve into my own personal battles with both confidence and control (which I think everybody has!) and hopefully show what eating disorders really are about (from my experience anyway).**

Confidence and Control

Chapter 8: Determination

xxx

Hecate left Julie's flat, making it into the elevator before she transferred herself away. She sank down for a moment against the gate to her home, feeling hot tears gather at her eyes. She didn't even know why she was crying. It just all suddenly felt too much. Like too many things had happened without her say so, without her own _control._

Julie had been far too lenient with her, _thankful_ even, she didn't deserve it. She had initially agreed to help Mildred out of pure guilt, a way of countering the way she had felt when she saw herself through Mildred's eyes.

She hadn't thought much past the week when she had suggested Mildred stay with her. So wrapped up in her own arrogance, she had seen that as a quick fix. But Julie was right - Mildred would need that support when she went back to school... and when she left...

Could Hecate provide that? She felt like she had accidentally signed up to be some kind of life-long mentor... She didn't know if she had it in her. Or if Mildred would even want that... want her.

xxx

"You're so good at this Mildred!" Pippa zoomed past, throwing another beanbag to Mildred which she swooped and caught before it hit the canopy of the trees below.

Mildred smiled, throwing it back to Pippa who deftly caught it. Pippa truly did look like a nimble ballerina as she twisted and turned, keeping her poise and extending her long limbs.

The two zoomed down into the woods, finding a clearing to catch their breath.

"You'll be smashing your broomstick qualification at this rate," Pippa grinned between breaths as she dismounted her broom.

"I'm not so sure," Mildred knitted her brows together, "Miss Hardbroom assesses - she's very.."

"Meticulous?" Pippa offered.

Mildred nodded, biting her lip.

"She thinks the world of you - you know that?" Pippa told the girl quietly after a moment of hesitation. "She's hardest on those she cares for. She's had a tough life - it's turned her into a tough person, but there's a huge heart in there."

"I've seen it when she looks at you," Mildred smiled softly. Remembering how soft Hecate looked in the moonlight, caressing Pippa's hand.

"Funny - I see it when she looks at you," Pippa giggled at the look the girl gave her.

xxx

Finding that molten metal core that she had relied on many tough times, Hecate caught her breath and wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her dress.

She wiped her face fully once she had caught sight of it in the mirror, thanking fate that Pippa and Mildred were both still out as she redid her makeup and hair. Once her armour was in place, she felt a lot more herself.

Her inner voice was telling herself off for being stupid, for _doubting_ herself. She was Hecate Hardbroom - one of the most powerful and formidable witches of her age after all. She strived for perfection in everything that she did - she would strive for perfection for Mildred.. She would offer the girl as much support as she could... The girl deserved that much.

She heard Mildred's unmistakable giggle and glanced out of the wooden window, seeing the two sauntering back slowly, broomsticks trailing behind. Her heart gave that jolt it always did whenever she saw Pippa, but Hecate found to her surprise that it continued when she looked at Mildred.

Transferring to her kitchen she began to make tea - this time the sweet raspberry that Pippa had contributed. It smelt sweet and delicious, tasted it too. Being born without a sweet-tooth, Hecate had always found that Pippa's tea was the one sweet thing she didn't mind drinking.

"You're back!" Mildred practically sang as they entered, catching sight of the dark witch in the moody shadows of the kitchen.

Hecate rolled her eyes, " _Of course_ I am girl, I told you I'd be back for this afternoon."

"I think Mildred means that it's good to see you," Pippa cut in, smiling at Mildred's blush. "Did you get your errands done?" Pippa questioned levelly, but her eyes showed intensity.

"I did," Hecate replied, eyes silently communicating to Pippa that she would fill her in later.

Pippa nodded, "Ooooh is that my tea?" she exclaimed looking at the stewed pink liquid, "I hope you like it Mildred."

Hecate poured the tea into three matching china cups as the three settled at the table. Mildred eyed the Pompadour shade, it was so pink it almost seemed to be glowing. _Very Miss Pentangle_ Mildred realised, before taking a sip. It was very sweet - verging on, but not quite making it to overly sweet. It seemed to give you a instant boost of bright energy as it travelled down you.

Pippa watched Mildred enjoy the drink with a smile. "It's very different to Hecate's blackberry isn't it?" she giggled, "I can't make blackberry as good as Hecate, but she can't make raspberry as good as me," she explained as Hecate rolled her eyes.

"It's great Miss Pentangle," Mildred grinned.

xxx

Hecate had chosen the area by the river bank for practice of non-verbal spells. She hoped Mildred would feel and absorb some of the magic of the sacred place. To Hecate, it was the witchiest place she knew of, and one close to her heart. Her father had taken her there herself when she had been a girl, desperate to show her the place of her ancestors. Hecate felt a sharp sense of loss as she remembered how they had sat with their toes in the water one scorching day in mid-summer, practising their spells.

It was different in Autumn, different by daylight, but the magic of the place never ceased. Even Pippa was rather sombre and sensible as they reached the clearing. She had visited with Hecate a few times before, and each time was lost in the spirituality of the place - of how much it meant to her girlfriend.

Hecate conjured a black blanket under the trees and the three sat, taking in their surroundings for a moment. Mildred felt a strange pang of pride as she looked around and could remember the precise details of all of the herbs she had collected by moonlight half a week ago.

"Now," Hecate began sharply, "As I said before Mildred, non verbal spells are a responsibility. Once your magic is 'let out' it can be more difficult to control. It is your responsibility to practise control, to keep maintaining it. I will show you exercises to do so, and I expect you to do them daily. _No excuses."_ Hecate gave the girl her best severe glare.

"Yes Miss Hardbroom," Mildred nodded submissively.

"I will supervise you through the same spell you have experienced before, should you get into any trouble. Close your eyes," Hecate ordered, " _Fully_ ," she sharpened her tone. Once satisfied she continued. "Now free your mind of any thoughts, I've found that concentrating solely on my breathing is the best way. _In...hold...out._ " Hecate repeated her counting several times until she could feel Mildred settled into a natural rhythm.

"I want you to dig deep Mildred, feel your nerves travel to your inner core."

Mildred felt a strange feeling as she concentrated in finding that energy. She kept pushing, feeling like she was travelling through multiple locked doors and having to barge through, becoming a little weaker each time. Despite the fight her body was putting up, she kept going, fired up on raw dogged determination. Miss Pentangle believed she could do it.. Heck...Even Miss Hardbroom believed she could. Who was she to argue with their understanding of magic?

"Now you will need to open the barrier that surrounds your magic," Miss Hardbroom's voice continued.

Mildred felt a strange jolt as she reached in further, repelling her away like an electric shock. She pushed again, feeling the shock again push her back. A flash of Miss Hardbroom's face clouded her inner vision, her sepia eyes sharp with expectation. With more determination than she ever knew she had, she tried again, feeling a strange pulsing electrical energy as she finally reached her goal... Her magic.

Mildred didn't see what her magic looked like, but she definitely felt it - if it were a colour it was bright purple, glistening with gold sparks. It hummed with a strangely pleasant sound and it felt like the kind of stomach turning adrenalin of the G force she had only ever experienced on rollercoasters.

"And open..." Miss Hardbroom commanded.

Mildred groggily opened her eyes, feeling strangely drained like she had just slept for a long time and just awoken.

"How do you feel?" Hecate asked, a touch of concern to her voice.

"Strange," Mildred replied, "I wasn't expecting it to fight back."

"It put up a stronger fight than I expected Mildred - you did really well," Hecate praised. "I know you're tired Mildred, but it's crucial that we begin to garner some control, tame it a bit or else it could slip out accidentally."

Mildred nodded sensibly.

"Pippa what do you usually get your pupils to start with?" Hecate asked. Pippa flushed happily that Hecate had asked for her advice.

"I've found that a simple hovering spell works best," Pippa suggested. Using her own magic, she picked a rock from the bank and slowly hovered it over to the two. "It's a very visual way of seeing your concentration."

Hecate nodded in agreement. "Now Mildred I want you to remember that feeling you just had, that feeling of reaching your magic. Let that flood into every cell of your being, raise your casting finger and envision the rock hovering in your mind's eye. Are you ready?" Hecate asked.

"Yes," Mildred agreed nervously. She closed her eyes for a moment, finding remembering the purple haze of her magic was rather easy. She felt a trickle of power as she let it flood past its now open barrier into her nervous system. She felt her finger grow warm as she opened her eyes and let the magic escape towards the rock. To her great surprise the rock began to move upwards. The surprise of it actually working knocked her concentration and the rock clattered back towards the ground.

"I did it!" Mildred glanced at the two excitedly.

"A very good start Mildred!" Pippa beamed. "It's rare to succeed first time!"

"Good," Miss Hardbroom nodded curtly, her face not giving away any of the shock or pride she felt, "Now _concentrate_."

Mildred tried again, this time putting in every ounce of effort she had left to ensure the rock remained hovered for as long as she could manage. It eventually thudded back down as Mildred caught her breath, feeling like she had just sprinted a marathon.

"Better," Miss Hardbroom noted, " _1 minute 26,"_ she announced placing her pocket watch back inside her black cloak. "Tomorrow you aim for 2 minutes," she told Mildred pointedly.

xxx

Exhausted, but still feeling a remaining buzz of adrenalin, Mildred led the two adults back towards the house.

"Slow down Mildred," Hecate called briskly to the girl, "I won't have you fainting on my watch again girl," she said sharply as Mildred fell into the slower pace of the other two.

Reaching the house, Mildred sat herself into her usual chair at the table and with a contented sigh let her tiredness reach her. She had done it! Her first non-verbal spell. For the first time since the age of eleven she was ahead of her peers. Ahead of _Ethel_.

"You'll sleep well tonight," Pippa grinned. "I'm so proud of you Millie!"

Mildred beamed back her response, before looking at Miss Hardbroom.

"Hecate...," Pippa prompted with a mock glare as she continued to sip her tea nonchalantly.

"What?" Hecate defended herself, "She gets enough praise from you."

Pippa glared, Mildred found it amusing that someone could look so cute even when they were glowering, but Pippa managed just that.

"Don't you pout at me Pentangle!" Hecate warned, to no avail.

Mildred started to laugh, it was funny to see these two powerful, professional women behave so child-like. Mildred wondered if their relationship had ever changed - she could just imagine two teenagers, one blonde, one dark, squabbling pettily as they made their way to lessons.

"Hecate is proud of you Mildred - don't you worry, she's just lacking in positive vocabulary," Pippa smirked as Hecate glared at her stubbornly.

"Actually you'll find Miss Pentangle, Mildred knows me well enough by now to know when I am impressed," Hecate said confidently, secretly hoping she was right as she eyed Mildred who gave her a soft smile.

"It still would be nice if you actually said it," Pippa argued.

"It would be nice if you stopped whining," Hecate countered. Hecate began to busy herself at the kitchen worktop with dinner preparations as Pippa rolled her eyes dramatically at Mildred who did her best to stop a giggle escaping.

xxx


	9. Rejuvenation

**This chapters very gooey I'm afraid.**

Confidence and Control

Chapter 9: Rejuvenation

xxx

Julie Hubble gave a slightly nervous sigh as the enchanted mirror that Mildred had installed a few summers ago gave off a high pitched continuous beep. Placing herself in front of the thing, she placed her facial features into what she hoped was a natural smile, which quickly became one as her only daughter became visible.

Mildred's cheeks were still rather chiselled, but they had colour to them: An almost warm glow that was even stronger in her eyes, tired though they were.

"Hey Mum," Mildred grinned.

"Millie!" Julie greeted.

"You will never ever guess what!" Mildred began, full of enthusiasm as she started to recount her afternoon. "It actually worked - my first non-verbal spell! I can't believe it mum. It was fantastic - even Miss Hardbroom was impressed, though Miss Pentangle told her off for hiding it! I'm to keep practising though. But I want to keep practising! You get extra points for non-verbals in Spells... I could end up getting a really high mark if I learn more..."

"That's amazing Millie love!" Julie beamed with pleasure at the sheer confidence and belief that her girl was showing, so very different from the shell of the girl she had been confronted with last week.

"Miss Hardbroom's helped me with my potions a lot too, and Miss Pentangle's helped me with my flying."

"Miss _Pentangle's_ there?" Julie asked. "That's the glamorous blonde witch who offered you a place at her academy, isn't it?"

"Yeh Mum, it turns out she's Miss Hardbroom's _girlfriend._ Keep that secret though, she doesn't want anyone to know."

"Miss Hardbroom has a _girlfriend_?" Julie processed that with a huge smile. It was always the quiet ones! But she was beyond pleased that the rigid woman had some pleasure in her life after all she'd been through.

"Honestly Mum - they're so great together. Though they squabble about anything and everything," Mildred laughed.

"That's amazing Millie, you really liked Miss Pentangle when you first met her didn't you? I'm glad you're surrounded by such positive role-models - even if Miss Hardbroom can be a bit... well... _Miss Hardbroom_ ," Julie laughed.

Mildred laughed in response to her Mum's description, there really was no other way to describe her form-mistress.

"Listen love," Julie began after Mildred had finished laughing. "In all seriousness, I'm glad you called.

"What's wrong Mum?" Mildred questioned, arching her brow.

"It's just...Miss Hardbroom told me what Ethel had said to you. About your Dad..," Julie began.

"Oh," Mildred's eyes widened.

"I know I've never really spoken to you about him Millie. Perhaps I should have done and cleared a few things up," Julie gave a small grimace. Mildred kept quiet, wanting to placate her mum but too desperate to know more.

"I was young, and pretty foolish. He was _terrified_ when I got pregnant, didn't want to be a father. I decided there and then that I wouldn't force him... It didn't matter so much as I loved you enough for two, enough for **two-thousand** ," she smiled at her daughter.

"He never even saw you Millie," Julie finished. "He abandoned _me,_ not you."

Mildred shook the small tear that had formed in one of her eyes. "Oh Mum!" she comforted, "I don't know why I let Ethel get to me like that. I've never needed him - you've been more than enough!" she said with conviction. She was truly blessed to have such a great mother.

"And you'll always be more than enough," Julie looked at her daughter lovingly. "I will love you no matter how good a witch you are - you are the best thing to ever happen to me Mildred Hubble. And you were long before we found out how special you are."

xxx

Hecate paced nervously as the muffled voices from her guestroom quietened.

"You're making me dizzy!" Pippa complained, throwing a scatter cushion from the sofa at Hecate.

Hecate shot her a glare, continuing to pace.

"Go see her," Pippa shook her head at her girlfriend, feeling like she was stating the obvious.

Hecate looked at her blankly.

"Go on Hecate!" She urged, "And be open and honest with the girl."

Wordlessly, Hecate narrowed her eyes at Pippa before taking a deep breath and transferring herself to Mildred.

xxx

The girl was sitting on her bed, hugging her knees as if in deep thought. Her exhaustion was clearly evident, but so was her returning inner strength as she stared at her teacher completely absent for once of any wariness or fear.

Hecate sat down primly on the edge of the bed.

"You spoke to my mum this morning, didn't you?" Mildred realised.

Hecate's silence did all the confirming Mildred needed.

The clock ticked intermittently as Mildred stared at Hecate not really knowing what to say, "Thank you," she finally whispered.

Hecate said nothing for a while, choosing the right words. "I know what it's like Mildred, to feel _unwhole_ ," Hecate began nervously, unsure why she was divulging her own personal feelings to a student, to this _particular student_ again. _She's more than that!_ Pippa's voice played in her mind, twanging at her gut. Her brain searched for a logical conclusion, eventually finding one: Mildred knew so much about her already and had only respected her _more_ in light of it, therefore being completely transparent with the girl was the only way forward. She was satisfied with that conclusion, even though she knew it was total nonsense.

Mildred looked at her questioningly, her big brown eyes full of the kind of warmth Hecate only really got from Pippa.

"I grew up without a mother," Hecate gave a sad smile despite herself. "Which is I suppose why I find all of this stuff so difficult," Hecate continued, gesturing to herself sitting primly on the edge of the bed.

Mildred scooted forward so that she was next to Miss Hardbroom. Desperate to pass on comfort, she placed her hand over her teacher's and gave it a brave squeeze. She wanted to tell Miss Hardbroom that finding showing her feelings difficult just made it more special when she managed to push past that.

Hecate was taken aback, both at Mildred's bravery and how alike she was to Julie Hubble in the way that she understood the real emotion behind her lacking words.

"You've done so much for me Miss Hardbroom..." Mildred whispered.

Hecate looked at her, derisive eyes refusing to accept that. Mildred continued, "Honestly.. If you hadn't have helped me that day.." Mildred shook her head. Coming to terms with the fact that she had been so close to the edge was surprisingly easy now that her strength was returning.

Hecate shook her head irately, "I did what any teacher should do, Mildred, but I should have seen the signs long before. I was just too, too well _cross_ at you. Cross that you appeared to not care - when actually you cared too much."

Mildred looked at her teacher gently. It was strange, for the first time, she felt as if she was seeing her properly. Not the cool, calm and collected _character_ that was HB, but the true human underneath that. Much less together, but kinder and more well.. gentle.

Hecate sighed bravely, thinking about what Julie had said to her that morning. She intertwined her long fingers around Mildred's hand, "I will never abandon you Mildred Hubble, you have me for as long as you need me," she peered through her dark lashes rather shyly.

Mildred peered at her curiously at her last words, _as long as you need me._

No that wasn't the case. Hecate Hardbroom wasn't going to be there forever. She had her for two and a half more years until the roles of teacher and pupil were taken from them both. _That's not long enough!_ Mildred wanted to shout. Would she ever stop needing Miss Hardbroom? She doubted it, and even then...She would want her, she thought adamantly. She would want her...

Unable to voice all of this, she gave Miss Hardbroom's hand another small squeeze, hoping that that would in part voice some of the words she couldn't say.

xxx

Dinner was a tired, albeit content affair that night. Hecate had served up a steak pie with roasted parsnips and carrot mash, making homemade pastry look so easy Mildred wondered if she had spelled her hands cold.

"Honestly Hecate, this is amazing," Pippa rolled her head back dramatically to the heavens.

Hecate smirked with self satisfaction.

"How are you feeling Millie?" Pippa asked the girl.

"Tired," Mildred replied truthfully. She was. Ever fibre of her being was almost hurting to be awake.

"Be thankful for an early bedtime tonight," Hecate stated with satisfaction.

Pippa rolled her eyes in Mildred's stead. "Hecate used to go to bed so early at school," she said conspiratorially, "Must have gotten a solid three, four hours before I'd drag her up for a midnight feast. She might be the witchiest witch, but she'd have never seen witching hour."

Mildred giggled softly.

"She's acting like she's some kind of rebel, Mildred. I can assure you that Miss Pentangle here was nothing of the sort. The library was her second home.. She was first in every class.."

"Second," Pippa cut in. "You were _first_."

"And a member of just about every team going.." Hecate finished smugly. "Rebel she was not..."

"I wouldn't have dared..." Pippa laughed, "Not with Miss Broomhead as our form-tutor..Imagine Mildred...if you can... Someone twice as formidable as Miss Hardbroom here!"

When Hecate looked like she was going to protest that, Pippa added smoothly - "But with half the charm dear."

Hecate smirked as she magicked away the now empty plates.

xxx

"No potion's quiz?" Mildred mumbled with half closed eyes as she laid in bed a hour later. Hecate had appeared in the doorway with a vial in her hand.

"Not tonight," Hecate said firmly, "But you are to drink this - it's to help rejuvenate your magic as you sleep."

Mildred nodded sleepily, taking the vial from her teacher. "Thanks," she mumbled before downing the potion. Glad to find that it tasted only softly of peppermint.

"We've only a few days left Mildred, before we both go back to school. I was thinking of inviting your mother down tomorrow, we need to develop a bit of a contingency plan for your return," Hecate said briskly.

Mildred looked at Miss Hardbroom through her tired eyes. "I'm strong enough now," she mumbled.

"I know," Hecate asserted, although she knew that strength could disappear quickly. "It'll be more for my peace of mind than anything else," she added lightly.

Mildred nodded, sighing as she gave in to the overwhelming exhaustion.

"Good night Mildred Hubble," Hecate switched off the light after one final glance at the currently contented pupil. Her contented pupil.

xx


	10. I Told You So

**Sorry about the long wait - work zaps a lot of my creative energy.**

Confidence and Control

Chapter 10: I Told You So

xx

"Julie," Hecate greeted as pleasantly as she could manage, seeing the curly haired woman appear in the mirror.

"Hecate," Julie gave a small smile. "I wasn't expecting you to call," the woman gestured down to her pajama bottoms and football T-shirt. Hecate wrinkled her nose in distaste before she could stop herself, but Julie either didn't notice, or didn't care. "Is Mildred ok?" she questioned.

"Sleeping," Hecate told her. "A long day..."

"Yes she told me about her magic! Thank you for that!"

Hecate shook her head slightly, refusing to accept any gratitude for what should have come naturally. Besides, it was Mildred's doing.

"I wanted to ask Ms Hubble.." she began formally.

"Julie," Julie corrected rolling her eyes in their sockets, "I thought we'd got over that."

"whether you would like to join us for dinner tomorrow." Hecate continued as if she wasn't interrupted. "It gives us a chance to discuss Mildred's return to Cackles and shows her that we're all on the same side," Hecate continued.

"I'd love to Hecate," Julie confirmed.

Hecate gave what she hoped was a polite smile, but she was sure looked more like a grimace.

"Will your _girlfriend_ be there?" Julie teased.

"Mildred," Hecate muttered through gritted teeth, pursing her lips before she sighed her dragon sigh, colour shooting to her pale face as she became stiff and tense.

"She was excited!" Julie explained. "She won't tell anyone else - that you can be assured of. My Mildred isn't one to gossip."

Hecate couldn't argue with that. "Yes she will be here until the end of the week," she assented feeling annoyingly flustered.

"Lovely," Julie grinned. "There's something I'd like to broach with you anyway... I had a bit of an idea..."

xxx

"1 minute 45," Hecate tutted. "Focus," she told the girl. Mildred had been sitting cross-legged on the same black blanket as yesterday, trying her best to get the stone to hover for longer. So far she had managed 1 minute 56, but instead of congratulating her for being near to her target, Hecate had harshly lectured her for giving up when she had been so close.

"I'm trying!" Mildred bit back before biting her lip. Hecate made it all seem so easy... But then again it probably was for the aged, clever and practiced witch. To Mildred, every second felt like it was knocking her sideways, straining parts of her body she didn't even know existed. She felt grumpy and frustrated, and wished that Pippa had accompanied them. Hecate was always less intense with Pippa there.

Hecate glared in response to the teenager's tone, "Try harder," she all but hissed.

Mildred tried again, finding she could barely concentrate with her current mood and becoming even more irritated when the rock swayed and clattered to the ground."It's not working Miss Hardbroom!" Mildred wailed in annoyance.

"You're being unnecessarily dramatic Mildred," Hecate huffed.

"You're being unnecessarily pushy," Mildred muttered back before she could stop herself, pouting in that toddler fashion that teenagers have so perfected.

Hecate couldn't help but quirk a small smirk at that. Mildred certainly was fearless, and clearly any fear of her form-mistress had long gone. She knew that Mildred was right, she was being overly hard on the girl. Mildred was just a beginner, and it had been an amazing feat that she had even accomplished the spell in the first place. She wanted more though... Could see that Mildred did have more to give. She took a deep breath, swallowing her temper as best as she could. "Pushy yes," she said slowly exhaling, "but unnecessarily no," she added firmly. "Trust me.." she said, narrowing her eyes as she sat next to the sulking teenage girl. When Mildred kept her head down she used her index finger to point her chin upwards to meet her fierce eyes. "Trust me.." she repeated, "You can do this Mildred. I know you can."

Mildred looked at her in surprise, never really knowing how to deal with the firm but kinder version of Miss Hardbroom that she had discovered over the past week. She had been expecting Hecate to transfer them back to the house and force her to write lines for her outburst.

Hecate got up and went over to the tree stump where she had placed her cloak earlier. Reaching into the pocket, she pulled out two vials of silver liquid. Seating herself carefully next to the girl, she handed her one of them and undid the stopper on her own.

"I designed it myself," she said smoothly, without arrogance but with a touch of self satisfaction. "I based it around an invisibility potion, but added sloe berries. The berries alter the structure of the potion entirely, making it have a reverse effect."

"Sooo instead of making you invisible... it makes you _visible_?" Mildred said not understanding the point.

"It makes what should be invisible visible," Hecate told the girl.

"Magic?" Mildred frowned, catching on.

"Magic," Hecate confirmed with a pang of pride. "It's a bit pointless really most of the time, but it helps to understand and get to know your magic more." Mildred noticed not for the first time that Miss Hardbroom spoke about magic entirely differently to everyone else - like it was a person with its own characteristics.

Hecate drank the vial first, gesturing for Mildred to wait. Once she had swallowed she turned her own attention to the pebble, casting it to rise neatly. Mildred noticed that the rock barely moved when Hecate cast the spell, unlike on her own goes where the rock would sway like a feather caught in the wind.

Hecate's magic then began to show itself. It appeared at first to be pure black, but when Mildred looked closer she could see flecks of deep purple, pink and the warmest gold. Miss Hardbroom kept her eyes on the stone, but spoke sideways to Mildred, "Now can you see the amount of magic needed? The trick is not to use too much on a simple spell, but to maintain the same amount as a constant. If less is given.." she allowed the rock to dip slightly, "and too much will cause an effect you don't want.." With this Hecate allowed a huge amount of power to escape, causing the rock to disintegrate mid-air into nothing more than mere sand.

"Cooool," Mildred's mouth dropped open.

Hecate waited patiently for Mildred to drink her own vial. She coughed and spluttered as she did, "That's disgusting!" Mildred shook her head. "How you drank that so easily I'll never know."

Hecate rolled her eyes to the heavens. "Get on with it girl," she ordered.

Mildred threw her a small grin before starting. Hecate was pleased that seeing the effects of the potion had stopped Mildred's bad mood from truly developing into something worse.

Casting finger at the ready, Mildred began. The bright purple magic she felt yesterday showed itself and Mildred did her best not to geek out at how amazing it was to actually see what she had felt. As the stone hovered, Mildred could see instantly that the stream of energy leaving her was thrice the amount that her teacher had used.

"Reduce it..." Miss Hardbroom called from next to her.

She managed to turn the power down, but keeping it constant was still a major challenge. Still, it was easier now she could actually see what was wrong.

She kept going, straining as she tried to push any invading thoughts away from her mind.

"Keep going," Hecate encouraged as the magic began to dwindle.

The stone slowly began to lower itself to the ground.

"2 minutes 43," Hecate smirked at Mildred as she caught back her breath.

"No way!" Mildred's eyes lit up.

"I'll refrain from an 'I told you so,'" Hecate smirked.

Mildred shook her eyebrows, grinning from ear to ear.

xxx


	11. Bippity Boppity Boo

Confidence and Control

Chapter 11: Bippity Boppity Boo

xxx

Hecate had ordered the girl back soon after, but not before Mildred had managed to beat her best time by two seconds completely absent of the visibility spell.

She had given Mildred a small rather worn book, that contained simple non-verbal spells for Mildred to try over the next couple of days. Mildred had smiled with pleasure at the book and had flicked through the pages rather transfixed.

"Not until later.." Hecate had ordered as Mildred raised her casting finger ready. Flicking her own pinkie, the girl's hand dropped by her side. "Once you've eaten, you can add to your ingredients notes from some rather useful books in my library. _Then_ you can try some of the spells."

"Like I've said to Miss Pentangle, pouting will get you no where.." Hecate smirked as Mildred's face dropped. "Work before play. Keeps you disciplined."

Mildred sighed resignedly as her sketchbook was given to her at the kitchen table. Hecate had placed a rather large leather tome in front of her, with page tabs on ingredients that she felt Mildred ought to know but knew didn't.

She settled into her task with her pout stubbornly placed on her face, but was soon too entranced in her drawings to continue frowning or even remember what she was frowning about. Hecate worked alongside her, grading potions essays with a dark red pen. Mildred noticed that she bit her lip when she worked, clearly unimpressed by the quality of work from her students. She sighed her nostril-flaring sigh once or twice, and Mildred did her best to keep her eyes on her sketchbook.

"It's like no one has an opinion anymore!" Hecate eventually muttered frustratedly, moving her marking to one side.

Mildred looked up at her teacher and bit her lip to hide her grin.

"Probably afraid their opinion won't match with yours darling," Miss Pentangle grinned as she stepped into the kitchen.

Hecate pursed her lips, "Witches shouldn't be afraid of anything."

Pippa giggled as she caught Mildred's eye, "Anything but their form-mistresses," she told Mildred.

xxx

Hecate nursed a glass of wine as she waited for Julie Hubble to arrive. Pippa had volunteered to meet her in the local village, knowing Hecate's cottage was rather difficult to reach by car. Hecate had jumped at Pippa's suggestion, knowing it meant that Pippa and Julie could acquaint themselves with each other without her being present.

Mildred came into the kitchen and sat wordlessly with her teacher. It was strange, Hecate thought, just how used to Mildred's presence she had become over the past week. She would actually miss this, the girl had become good company and stopped the days away from her work feeling quite so long.

"Show me what you've learnt," Hecate eyed the girl, who grinned back. Mildred raised her casting finger and sent a surge of energy to a nearby lamp, which instantly turned on, illuminating the room with it's warm brightness.

Hecate's thin mouth widened for a moment, impressed that Mildred had mastered a non-verbal spell in the few hours she had been in her bedroom. Mildred raised her finger again, this time at Hecate's glass, which was smoothly raised until her teacher had managed to catch it in her outstretched fingers.

"Bravo," Hecate nodded at Mildred, who gave her a signature grin.

"Thanks Miss Hardbroom."

Just then, the door began to open, announcing the return of Pippa alongside Julie Hubble. Mildred jumped from her seat at the table and enveloped her mother into a huge hug the moment she had entered through the door.

"Millie!" Julie sang, stroking her daughter's hair. "You look well," she said with surprise, looking at the clear life enumerating from her daughter, so very different to the deadened eyes she had been confronted with at school.

Julie looked past Mildred and caught Hecate's eyes, communicating her thanks.

"I'll take your coat Julie," Pippa said with a warm smile, as Hecate beckoned her to the table.

"Thanks," Julie called after her. "Wow she's a catch Miss Hardbroom, well done!" Mildred grinned at the faint red circles that appeared on Hecate's pale cheeks.

xxx

"You can really cook Miss Hardbroom," Julie shook her head as she scraped the last morsel of her plate - a goats cheese and caramelised onion tart that seemed to be sweet and crispy, tangy and soft all at the same time.

Mildred had eaten it too, without any protesting to Julie's immense surprise.

"I've found potion making has many similarities," Hecate replied, taking away the now empty plates.

She returned to the table. "We were wanting to put together a contingency plan for Mildred's return to Cackles tomorrow." Hecate said briskly.

"Yes. What did you have in mind?" Julie asked.

"Well Mildred," Hecate addressed the girl, "You have made lots of progress in a short space of time, but returning to Cackles could cause your problems to return."

When Mildred went to protest, Hecate cut her off, "No Mildred, precautions need to be put into place."

"I agree," Julie said, firmly eyeing Mildred.

"You will be eating breakfast under my supervision each morning," Hecate began, watching Mildred's reactions carefully. "Before helping me prepare ingredients in the potions lab..."

Mildred looked at Hecate dumbfounded. Her helping was sure to make Miss Hardbroom's morning prep twice as long.

"You will mirror your mother every evening," Hecate continued, "I will provide extra mirror tokens as appropriate. Weekend meals are to be eaten in my quarters, where upon you will bring any homework or revision with you."

Mildred felt emotions well up inside her stomach. Miss Hardbroom was willing to give up all of that extra time for her?

Not knowing what to say Mildred just nodded, hoping her eyes would portray the thanks she couldn't get out.

"Come Mildred," Pippa said, getting up from the table and holding her hand open for the teens, "We should leave your mum and Miss Hardbroom to chat for a while. Let's go practise some of those marvellous charms."

When Mildred and Pippa had left the room Julie said, "Well she took that remarkably well."

"Everyone wants help that it given without choice," Hecate replied knowingly.

"She wants _your_ help," Julie pointed out.

Hecate sipped at her wine. "She has my help for as long as she needs," she said assuredly.

Julie glanced at Hecate, worry clear in her eye, "But Hecate, you're not going to be her teacher forever."

"No, I'm not," Hecate replied.

Julie looked at the woman, finding her inner courage to ask the question she had prepared herself to ask. "Have you heard of a Godmother?" she bit her lip bracingly.

Hecate reacted with a snort "Like Cinderella?" she asked, clearly not knowing what Julie Hubble was getting at.

"It's a non-witch thing," Julie stated. "A Godmother isn't somebody who poofs up a carriage and a ballgown. It's someone who _looks out_ for the child, someone who takes interest in the child's well-being and future. Someone _like you_ ," Julie finished.

Hecate looked flabbergasted, "You want me to be Mildred's Godmother?" she finally choked out.

"Yes," Julie replied firmly. "Yes - I do. I want whatever is best for my daughter - I want _you_ to continue being what is best for my daughter. Not just while she is at Cackles."

xxx


	12. Return to Cackles

Confidence and Control

Chapter 12: Return to Cackles

xxx

Hecate's heart was beating at a rapid pace. Too rapid, Hecate knew - she could practically feel the blood bounding through her usually calm veins. She poured some more wine from the bottle, listening to the distant cheerful sounds of Pippa, Julie and Mildred playing a board game in the living room.

"You don't have to give me an answer yet," Julie had said, before she had left the kitchen to see her daughter.

That was all well and good, but Hecate did not enjoy sitting on a decision. Decisive by nature, she could usually weigh up the pros and cons within minutes. It was one of the reasons why the indecisive and floundering Miss Cackle had promoted her to deputy so quickly after she had joined the teaching staff.

This decision however, was not going to be simple. Hecate took her glass outside into the courtyard and sat herself under the stars, her breath coming out with condensing mist she watched it for a moment or two, before turning her attention to the stars above her. When she had been a girl, she had liked the think that one of the stars was her mother. Had liked the twilight of wintery nights so much as it was when she felt the closest to her. That had been one of the selling points of the humble cottage- the fact that the light pollution was so low that the stars were always visible.

Not for the first time, she imagined what life would have been like if she had had a mother.. A mother to guide her... to support her with the highly emotional side she kept covered beneath those long dark dresses.

Her father would have raised his eyebrows at Mildred - her lack of academic prowess, her general uncouthness, but he would have loved her soul - her positivity, bravity and kindness, much like he had loved Pippa as a girl.

Mildred needed her - she knew that now. But as a _Godmother?_ She cringed at the thought, still seeing fairytales in her mind and she was no one's idea of a fairytale hero.

There was professionalism to think about too. Teachers were not suppose to have favourites, not supposed to treat one student any different to another. What on Earth would Ada make of all of this? She wondered. _Ada would be happy for you - happy that you have managed to find yourself a family despite everything._ The voice from her heart tried to reason with her over-thinking brain.

And Mildred... The girl might need her now, but that didn't mean she would want her form-mistress hovering over her forever, despite the fact that Hecate would always want to ensure she was making sensible life choices, would always want to keep a protective eye on her.

The sound of the door opening took her out of her trance-like state.

"Oh _there_ you are Miss Hardbroom!" The girl in question stepped out into the cool night air and, with no shoes on, scampered across to her teacher. Hecate eyed her feet immediately and rolled her eyes.

"If you trail any dirt into my house you will spend your last day here scrubbing the floor with a _toothbrush_ ," Hecate drawled.

Mildred simply grinned in reply. "Mum and Pippa are absolutely thrashing me at scrabble.."

Hecate smirked, knowing what Mildred was getting at and welcoming the distraction - "Well we can't have _that_ ," she said, pushing her thoughts aside to deal with later and getting to her feet.

xxx

"There's no way that's a word!" Julie laughed in bemused amazement at Hecate, who once again had managed to make a word out of seemingly impossible letters.

"Trust me - it will be..." Pippa laughed. "Once you accept that Hecate knows everything life gets easier..."

"I do not know everything!" Hecate argued.

"Well you and Mildred have definitely won!" Julie laughed. "All down to Millie of course.."

"Well I did go and _fetch_ Miss Hardbroom..." Mildred laughed.

Pippa smirked and raised her glass. "To Hecate Hardbroom, wordsmith, omnipotent form-mistress and a fabulous cook!"

The Hubbles laughed at Hecate's obvious distaste at being the cause of a toast and raised their glassed enthusiastically, receiving a half-hearted clink from Hecate in return.

"Bed," Hecate ordered Mildred who was trying to disguise her yawns.

"I'm not tired," Mildred said stubbornly.

"I won't repeat myself Mildred Hubble, I've told you lots before, bedtime is not up for discussion," Hecate raised her brow sharply, but then added - "Your mother will tuck you in tonight." To which Julie nodded at Mildred.

"I'll be up soon Millie love," Julie called as Mildred obediently left the room with only a few teenage-esque sighs.

xxx

"What's up with you Hiccup?" Pippa asked curiously once Julie had left to see to Mildred.

Hecate swallowed, "Do you know what a Godmother is?" she asked.

"Like Cinderella?" Pippa cocked an eyebrow. " _Waaaiiit_ \- has Julie asked you to be _Mildred's_?"

"Oh Merlin- no wonder you look so shell-shocked," Pippa giggled as Hecate gave a small nod.

"Is it so crazy?" Hecate asked.

Pippa quelled her giggles and looked Hecate in the eye - "Not at all Hiccup - It's _perfect_! Julie Hubble is one smart woman - I can see where Mildred gets her perceptiveness from."

"You don't think it's too... much?" Hecate mumbled, "I mean I can hardly go from being her worst teacher to _this_ in a matter of weeks... And it's not like being Mildred's Godmother would change anything - I wouldn't be able to give her any special treatment at school. "

Pippa squeezed the scatter cushion in her hand, Hecate really was being blind. "You were never her worst teacher!" she rolled her eyes, "And neither Julie nor Mildred would want any special treatment. It wouldn't change anything at all Hiccup - but that's the point entirely! You're already doing all of the things a Godmother should do..."

"Mildred might not want it - when we get back to school things will be very different between us."

"There's no way that Mildred will refuse you Hecate," Pippa told her girlfriend, "But why don't you wait a few weeks before asking her opinion."

"That's a good plan," Julie Hubble said, reappearing at the door. "Let Mildred make the decision - she's certainly old enough."

Hecate looked at the two of them, almost annoyed that they seemed so certain when she was so unsure. "Fine," she assented with a huff.

xxx

Mildred slept in the next morning, enjoying her last day of being able to. She had grown used to her bedroom in Hecate's cottage and would certainly miss the comfort of the room when back in her spartan dorm at Cackles. She put on leggings and a comfy jumper and tied her hair into what she hoped was a presentable ponytail.

She entered the kitchen, enjoying the smell of coffee that filled up the room. Pippa was half-hidden behind a newspaper, soft pink dressing robe concealing the fact that she was still in her pink velvet pyjamas. Hecate was of course already dressed and was buttering warm toast.

"Good morning Mildred," she said overly formally. Pippa eyed her, confused at her stiff tone for a moment before realising that she was probably rehearsing for the return the Cackles.

"Good morning Miss Hardbroom, Miss Pentangle," Mildred replied, following Hecate's cue.

"We leave at midday," Hecate told the girl, placing a plate of toast in front of her. "I trust you will be packed and organised by then?"

"Yes Miss Hardbroom," Mildred replied tentatively eating her toast.

"I'm sure you're excited to return to your friends and your studies," Hecate said as she sat down opposite. Pippa grinned at Hecate's natural awkwardness. It would most likely always be there despite all that had happened between them, but somehow that made their stilted interactions even more sweet.

"I'm excited to see Maud and Enid," Mildred nodded between bites.

"You'll get to showcase your new non-verbal skills too," Pippa grinned. "That'll give Ethel Hallow pause for thought."

Mildred smiled back at Pippa. She was excited to develop her non-verbal magic skills, but she was also worried at the amount of work she would have to do when she was back to try to catch up and of Ethel and of the countless questions she would have to dodge about the holidays. Hecate noticed the slight biting of her lip with a frown.

xx

"Thank you for having me Hecate," Pippa kissed her girlfriend on the cheek softly, "and thank you Millie for letting me intrude," she gave Mildred's hand a squeeze. "Work hard - won't you, but let me know if Hecate is working you too hard!" She added conspiratorally under her breath.

"Bye Miss Pentangle," Mildred called after the blonde as she kicked off her broomstick.

She turned back to face Miss Hardbroom who eyed her warily. "Ready?" she asked briskly.

Mildred nodded with a small almost sad smile.

xxx

Mildred felt the familiar breeze of the cold castle as she materialised in the courtyard. Hecate flicked her finger at her suitcase so that Mildred would not have to drag it up the stairs. "Everything should be clean and pressed, I've not unpacked it though," she told the girl firmly. "It is not to remain so for the next couple of days or your clothes will be creased."

"Yes Miss Hardbroom," Mildred replied absentmindedly.

Hecate looked at her charge, seeing the slump of posture and feeling the absence of the excitable spark that usually surrounded her magical aura. She hooked an annoying flyaway strand into Mildred's rather untidy plait, "Chin up - it's not that bad," she said under her breath.

Mildred nodded, knowing she was being rather ridiculous. She had loved school once, had loved learning magic and her great friends.. Yet now her memories were tainted. The building around her did not send the comfort it once did, but instead gave her flashes of being at her lowest ebb.

"Act confident," Miss Hardbroom said with certainty, "And confidence will surely follow. It's best to confide in your friends - it took me a long time to confide in Miss Pentangle, but everything seemed easier when she knew."

Mildred nodded again, but this time with more conviction.

xx

"Mildred!" Maud sang as she saw her friend, hugging her around her waist. "Good holiday?"

Mildred gave a noncommittal smile in response to the question, but quickly gave a true grin at seeing her best friend. "It's good to see you too Maud."

"I must have sent you a gazillion messages on your maglet Mildred!" Maud rolled her eyes.

Mildred gave a sheepish look, "Left it here Maud!" she said truthfully. She had indeed purposefully left the device switched off at school over the week, using Miss Hardbroom's hatred of technology as an excuse to not have to dodge conversations with her friends.

"What are you like!?" Maud huffed, but grinned to Mildred's relief.

xxx

Mildred unpacked with Maud and Enid laying on her bed, entertaining her with stories of home. Enid had played a huge manner of pranks on each of the servants at her parents' mansion, but was smiling from ear to ear when she said that they had taken off time from their tour to spent some days with her. Maud had had an equally good week- spending time with her grandparents in their country estate.

Six o'clock rolled around quickly and Mildred panicked knowing that Miss Hardbroom was expecting her.

"You coming for dinner Mils?" Maud asked.

"Ermm..Actually... I'm... erm.. I'm to see Miss Hardbroom," Mildred began truthfully.

"You can't have done anything wrong already!" Enid laughed.

"What's wrong Millie?" Maud asked, ever perceptive.

Mildred gave a sigh to steady herself and then sat herself with her friends on her bed. Breathing deeply, she told them everything. How she had begun to make herself sick, how once she had started she hadn't stopped, how Miss Hardbroom had caught her, her week with Miss Hardbroom. She didn't know which bit shocked the two girls more, but they listened with a curious intensity that made Mildred feel especially lucky to call them friends. Enid's tongue was practically hanging from her mouth and Maud's eyes were wide and magnified under her round glasses.

"So you actually spent the week at Miss Hardbroom's house?" Enid repeated, gobsmacked.

"It's really nice actually, not a _coffin_ anywhere," Mildred joked.

"But you're ok? You're ok now?" Maud bit her lip. "We did _wonder_... Even considered telling Miss Hardbroom ourselves that something wasn't right with you."

"I'm eating Maud," Mildred grimaced.

"And Miss Hardbroom is... well...keeping an eye on you still?" Enid questioned.

"I'm to eat supervised until further notice," Mildred admitted. "And homework and extra revision - so that I don't stress I suppose."

"That's umm very reasonable of her," Enid arched her brows.

"Don't say it like that Enid! She likes you Millie," Maud smiled, "Always has - you've saved her life enough times anyway."

"It's not me," Mildred retorted. "I'm hardly her favourite. Probably just hates the idea of how my failings show upon _her_."

Maud repositioned her glasses. "I'm not saying she wouldn't do any of this for any other student Mildred, but you have to admit you and Miss Hardbroom have dealt with some pretty big things over the years." Mildred couldn't disagree.

xx

"You're _late_ ," Hecate raised her eyebrows at Mildred as she stumbled through the door that Hecate had held open for her.

"Sorry Miss Hardbroom," Mildred murmured quietly.

"Hmm," Hecate grunted with an roll of her eye. "Go sit at the table, Mildred," she ordered briskly.

Mildred complied and sat herself at the dark mahogany table, taking in her surroundings with more care than when she had last been in her form-mistress's quarters.

She noticed the vast array of notebooks on the shelves above Miss Hardbroom's long desk in the far corner, which Mildred imagined would contain carefully detailed notes about various aspects of magic. She noticed the huge leather tomes of which she was now familiar with and various smaller books about different flora and fauna. Alongside them, to Mildred's wonderment, were fictional stories - classics that Mildred knew the names of but not the contents, including what seemed to be the entire collection of Shakespeare. But there were other names too - Dickens, Bronte and Hemmingway. Mildred wondered if Miss Hardbroom ever managed to turn her brain off fully - clearly even when relaxing her synapses were firing.

Hecate returned from the small adjoining kitchenette carrying two plates, one of which she placed in front of Mildred. It was liver and onions, which made Mildred grimace for a moment, thinking of the cold slime served up from the school kitchens. The meal where it had all began...Silently, Hecate began to eat, and with a screwed up face and an inaudible sigh, Mildred mimicked. To the girl's surprise and relief, it didn't taste anything like previous school kitchen helpings.

Mildred shouldn't have been surprised really, after a week of hearty home-cooked food from her talented teacher, but somehow the dish tasted rich, meaty and sharp. The mashed potatoes were creamy and buttery, which made Mildred uncomfortable knowing it was most likely calorific, yet she couldn't stop herself from enjoying the taste.

When she was done, Hecate magicked the plates away. "Did you tell Maud and Enid?" she asked, once her curiosity had gotten the better of her.

"They wondered why I was to see you tonight," Mildred answered. "I told them the truth."

"Good," Hecate nodded sharply, satisfied that Mildred had followed her advice. "And tomorrow, when you see Ethel Hallow - you are to hold your head nice and high."

"That'll just provoke her," Mildred grimaced.

" _Most_ likely," Hecate gave a curt nod, "but you will not react, or let her words bother you in anyway. Know that they come from a place of jealousy."

"Jealousy? What's she got to be _jealous_ over?" Mildred furrowed her brow, "I'm nothing special and she's the one top in every class."

Hecate looked at the girl in exasperated annoyance, " _Actions_ Mildred, _knowledge_ will only take you so far. It is our actions which define us and Ethel is aware of that, even if you aren't... You covet her knowledge, yet she covets your bravity, good nature and popularity with your peers. You however, on the whole, handle your jealousy better and you must not sink to her level nor let her opinion bother you so much."

Miss Hardbroom had the ability to make things sound so simple, but then Mildred thought - it was probably was to somebody as clever and disciplined as her, "I will try Miss Hardbroom," she eventually replied.

Hecate exhaled, making a sound somewhere between a sigh and a snort. "Go Mildred, and see your friends before lights out."

Mildred smiled in gratitude, despite having grown to almost enjoy her time with her teacher, it always had an intensity to it, "Thanks, Miss Hardbroom for the dinner and well everything," Mildred flailed her clumsy arms around and almost sped to the door.

"And Mildred.." Hecate began in a low tone, the classic Miss Hardbroom tone which made even the bravest children cower and Mildred was no exception.

Mildred gulped and turned back, "Yes Miss Hardbroom?"

"Remember that I am keeping an extra eye on you - and that includes bedtimes. There is to be no night-time gatherings, even if you, Miss Spellbody and Miss Nightshade have much to talk about."

Mildred gave her a sheepish grin, "Of course not Miss Hardbroom."

xxx

They did of course have a 'Night-time Gathering', however it was kept short and sweet.

There were times that Mildred felt she could almost sense the black and gold speckled magic of her teacher from outside her room, but Miss Hardbroom did not interfere once - and Mildred felt she could almost hear a familiar small chuckle when she made a pointed comment to Maud and Mildred about it being past Lights Out and how she wanted to be rested for an early breakfast.

Maud and Enid were being brilliant. They listened to Mildred with curiosity absent of any judgement, gasped when they heard that Miss Hardbroom had taken Mildred broomstick water-skiing and watched with widened eyes when Mildred showed them a few basic non-verbal spells. By the time she got into her bed, she felt her numbness disappear and she felt excited, rather than nervous, for the following day.

xxx

Hecate found the pins holding her hair in place and slid them out of her silky mane. She appraised herself in the mirror with neither vanity nor modesty, but with an objectivity that told her that her previously smooth forehead was beginning to line ever so slightly. _I always said Mildred would give me wrinkles,_ she smirked to herself, knowing full well it was purely coincidental that the first frown line had begun to appear during Mildred's first year at the academy.

Wrapping a black velvet robe around her pyjamas, she vanished and reappeared in her form group's corridor, hearing the muffled voices of Maud, Enid and Mildred from Mildred's dorm. She didn't mean to listen, but curiosity got the better of her as she heard her name from Mildred's lips.

"Miss Hardbroom took me broomstick water-skiing, taught me the spells needed and everything."

"No way!" she heard Enid gasp. "I didn't know she could be _fun_." Hecate huffed indignantly at that comment, just because she set boundaries and upheld standards...

"She is fun, Enid," Mildred defended, widening Hecate's eyes. "Just in her own way.."

"But didn't she make you work all week Millie?" Maud asked curiously.

"Not all week - and the work she made me do was to help me catch up," Mildred defended.

"Well no-one could ever accuse her of not being a good teacher," Maud reasoned maturely.

"I owe her a lot..." Mildred said, so softly that Hecate could only just hear. "I'll never be able to repay her for all that she's done for me."

"We all owe her," Enid replied fiercely, making Hecate's heart pang.

The three grew silent and Hecate became lost in thought as a strange rush of warmth travelled through her bones, causing her to hold her breath.

"I must get to bed," Mildred yawned after a moment, "I've an early start tomorrow and need to be well rested."

Hecate bit her lip, but couldn't fully stop the hearty chuckle which came from a place of bemusement and pride.

xxx


	13. The Courage Potion

Confidence and Control

Chapter 13: The Courage Potion

 **Apologies for the wait!**

xxx

Hecate made her way down to the staffroom, it had become a strange sort of ritual that she would have a cup of tea before bed in the company of Miss Cackle - a ritual she always looked forward to, for she respected Ada hugely, and often longed for the older woman's presence and guidance, especially when her mind was working overtime.

"There you are Hecate my dear!" Ada smiled welcomingly, "I was hoping you would join me."

Hecate gave a small smile which pursed her lips into a thin line before preparing some of her blackberry tea. She joined the headmistress at the table.

"And how was your week?" Ada asked curiously.

"Satisfactory, headmistress," Hecate replied smoothly. "I'm glad to report that Mildred made huge leaps," Ada noticed the hint of pride.

"That's down to you, Hecate dear, - you are allowed to be proud of yourself," Ada smiled with her own pride.

Hecate nodded shyly, suddenly feeling like a little girl.

"I hope you still got to spend some time with Pippa," Ada questioned, knowing just how much Hecate loved to be in Miss Pentangle's company during any holidays.

"She spent most of the week with us," Hecate confessed. "Mildred knows..." she added.

"Good," Ada nodded curtly, "I've told you plenty of times that you should be more open and honest."

"I'm hardly going to start shouting from our turrets and telling every single student of my private matters," Hecate countered.

"No - but Mildred is different," Ada's eyes twinkled knowingly.

"Different indeed.." Hecate snorted. She sipped her tea and Ada mimicked, a strangely knowing twinkle in her eye.

"I've always thought there was a strange sort of connection between the two of you. Right from the very moment she stepped foot into this castle, all of that nonsense with Agatha and you two saving us all..."

"I'm not taking credit for that.. It was all Mildred," Hecate argued, placing her cup own.

"And then everything since..." Ada continued as if uninterrupted.

Hecate stayed quiet for a moment before blurting, "Julie Hubble asked me to be Mildred's Godmother."

Ada was stunned. The Grandfather clock in the room ticked for several beats. When she finally spoke it was with eyes blurry with tears, "Ohh Hecate."

"I'm not sure whether I should accept," Hecate murmured, taken aback at Ada's reaction.

"Oh but of course you should my dear!" Ada's mouth was agape. "It's an absolute honour - a well deserve honour Hecate. After all you've done for that girl..."

"You don't think it unprofessional?" Hecate queried.

To her surprise, Ada chuckled, "Ohh Hecate my dear. Trust you to think of that. I hardly think caring for a pupil in need is unprofessional - rather the opposite in fact! That's what we all come into the teaching profession for."

"You did perhaps," Hecate retorted dryly, sipping the last of her tea " _I_ came in because I was worried that standards were slipping in today's youth."

Ada laughed at her deputy's sarcasm, knowing she was only half joking.

xxx

When morning arrived, it took Mildred a moment or two to realise where she was - that the cracked rough walls were not the stonewashed walls of the bedroom of the cottage. She sighed, stretched and placed her bare feet on the cool stone floor. Glancing at her clock, she realised she was cutting it pretty fine and wished she had checked her alarm clock had been set. She quickly dressed and rubbed sleep from her eyes before she plaited her hair into her usual pigtails.

She caught sight of herself in her desk mirror without really meaning to. The reflection different to how she remembered, her face sharper and less round. She looked older, less rounded than she had once been but not as gaunt as she had begun to look before half term. The pigtails looked at odds with her now, a childish hairstyle and she did not feel like a child anymore. She stood transfixed...

She yanked the bobbles from the end of each plait and shook her hair free.

"Lie in... Mildred?" Miss Hardbroom had appeared in her room, face severely unimpressed that she had already been kept waiting.

"No - I - I," Mildred stammered not really knowing how to explain.

Hecate stared at her crossly, blatantly annoyed that Mildred did not appear to be taking her instructions seriously.

"I'm sorry Miss Hardbroom," Mildred said solemnly. "I didn't mean to keep you waiting again - there's no excuse."

"And yet I am expecting one," Miss Hardbroom prompted interestedly, anger placed on hold, for she realised Mildred's demeanour was strangely embarrassed: Her face reddened and eyes lowered, fingers intertwining.

"It's really stupid! - You'll be even more annoyed," Mildred winced, wishing Miss Hardbroom could just leave it so she didn't have to find the words to explain. But her teacher was never one to leave anything..

"Try me," Hecate drawled lowly.

Mildred sighed, exasperated with herself for not pulling off a poker face. "Like I said - it's really stupid!," she sighed, "- I plaited my hair, and it looked odd on me - not messy - that wouldn't have bothered me so much," Mildred noticed Hecate rolled her eyes but gave her a small, tight lipped but encouraging smirk, "It's really stupid... but I just felt _wrong_ somehow _."_

Mildred had expected Miss Hardbroom's nostrils to flare, a lecture on the need for structure and an essay on why punctuality was key to success, so she was indeed surprised when Hecate schooled her expression and sat next to her pupil on the edge of her bed with only an indignant huff escaping her lips.

"I'm sorry," Mildred repeated.

Hecate sighed exasperatedly, She knew there was more to the situation than just being fussy over a hairstyle, but it was hard to accept that when she felt her authority tested. She could almost hear Pippa's rational explanation - _She trusts you Hecate, enough to let you in to the complex facets that her mind is trying to deal with._

She pursed her lips, deciding for a moment on the best approach, before settling on humour in order to push the subject to one side for the moment,"I suppose it is natural to grow out of a certain _style_ \- although I am hardly the best person to advise or comment," she said sardonically.

Mildred grinned, eyeing Miss Hardbroom's never changing bun. Hecate inwardly sighed with relief.

"Something tidy.." Hecate mused analysing Mildred for a moment, "You are not keeping your locks down, you cause enough of a hazard..." Hecate raised her casting finger, a tiny twitch causing Mildred's hair to pull itself into a carefully knotted side-plait, "But still... _recognisable.."_ she finished, appraising her work with apparent satisfaction.

Mildred grinned as she saw her reflection in the mirror, "Thanks Miss Hardbroom," she fiddled with the ends.

xxx

Mildred grabbed a bowl of porridge with a grimace, watching Miss Hardbroom as she ate the lumpy mixture placidly.

Hecate watched the girl turn her nose up at the thick gloopy mixture. Whilst it was true that school porridge was not worth writing home about, it was not nearly as bad as Mildred's facial expressions portrayed.

"You need to stop thinking of food as the enemy," Hecate sniffed, "We all have many enemies Mildred, but food is _sustenance_."

Mildred pushed the porridge around with her spoon before hesitantly placing it into her mouth, swallowing hard, she continued despite her apathy. Miss Hardbroom was right - she didn't want to go back to feeling ill, despite the strange compulsion to get rid of her food.

"How do you manage it?" Mildred asked bluntly, barely caring that her sentence was ill-formed.

Hecate however, knew what the girl was getting at, "I changed my perception of food.."she paused thoughtfully, "I will never be fully _relaxed_ around it, however I remind myself with every bite of the nutritional value each meal has. That, alongside regular cooking, seems to quench part of my _desire_ to control."

"So that's why you cook so well.." Mildred mused.

Miss Hardbroom neither confirmed or denied Mildred's statement, but pondered thoughtfully for a moment. "Finish your porridge Mildred, we have lots to prep this morning."

xxx

Hecate couldn't deny that having Mildred's company during her lesson prep was rather enjoyable, even if it wasn't particularly productive. Mildred chopped mint leaves so haphazardly they were all hugely different sizes. "Mint is very _potent_ Mildred!" Hecate stared firmly at the girl, "They need to be the same size for the purpose of consistency. _Again_ ," she ordered, flicking her casting finger to allow more leaves to appear from out of her stock cupboard. Hecate noticed that the girl barely flinched, and kept her cool as she started cutting up the new leaves more precisely. She nodded her satisfaction when Mildred checked her first cut with her, and was even more pleased when Mildred carried that precision on to the next lot of ingredients, cutting ivy stems with a great amount of vigour.

Hecate realised that Pippa had been right, improving her relationship with the girl had indeed helped her to relax, and as a consequence her abilities seemed to be thriving.

Pippa was usually right when it came to people's emotions, she seemed to just have a natural ability to understand people. Whereas Hecate found people a lot more difficult - it was not something you could learn from a book (not that she hadn't tried).

xx

The first day back at Cackles went rather quickly. Chanting with Miss Bat was a relatively easy start to the day, and Flying with Miss Drill was fun in the breezy October weather. Ethel had been giving Mildred haughty looks all day, but Mildred had reminded herself of Miss Hardbroom's advice and kept her head down. Double Potions in the afternoon would have been enough to make Mildred dread a Monday, but she was determined to work hard.

"Sit," Miss Hardbroom stiffly commanded to her class, who had stood behind their desks both out of respect and well-trained habit.

"Now girls, as I have warned you many times before, it is crucial that you begin to learn potion-making without being so _reliant_ on your textbooks," she gave them all a stern look as if daring them to disagree. "Therefore our focus these next weeks will be just that." With a casual flick of her wrist, all the copies of Advanced Potion Making piled up on her front desk. Hecate smirked at the reaction as the girls began to chatter indignantly, "QUIET," she ordered sternly and the class fell silent once again.

"Now your first task this morning will be a Courage Potion," Miss Hardbroom told the class. Mildred caught her eye and widened her own, _so that's why she mentioned it that night in the woods.._ "I am not expecting perfection from you right away," she said rather reasonably, "However I am expecting reasonable effort and a logical approach," she added sharply.

Mildred noticed that Ethel Hallow looked a little shell-shocked. The girl blatantly hadn't prepared for this and didn't like being caught out. She pouted huffily which Hecate noticed and only smirked in reciprocation.

"Begin," Hecate called, flicking her wrist so ingredients appeared on the front desk.

 _Logical approach... logic,_ Mildred thought with desperation as she stared at the overwhelming pile of ingredients. _Thyme_ she immediately recognised by its spriggy green leaves. _The darkest ones are the most potent,_ she could almost hear Miss Hardbroom saying. She noticed none of the other girls were particularly concerned about which leaves to use, but she ignored them and sifted her way through the pile, finding the darkest ones and placing them to one side. She pummelled the sprigs in the pestle until she had a fine paste before adding them to her heating cauldron which turned the darkest green and began to smell fresh and woody.

Too much courage can cause _arrogance, recklessness_. The cues from the smell of thyme helping her remember. _Lavender honey for grounding,_ she could almost hear Miss Hardbroom's voice in her brain. She fetched a couple of sprigs of the purple flower and began to strim them, enjoying the soothing smell as she did, before she added it to the mixture.

She tossed in some of the peppermint leaves she had cut up earlier to make her potion more receptive to her magic and began to pen a chant on the paper provided.

 _Afraid once,_

 _But not forever more,_

 _Give me courage,_

 _and let my abilities soar!_

She could hear the chanting of the girls around her. She looked up, and caught the dark eyes of her teacher standing a few feet away.

Miss Hardbroom stared at the chant on Mildred's paper. The girl had always been very creative at making up chants, and this was no exception.

"What?" Mildred questioned.

Hecate raised an eyebrow. "I was actually going to say how good it is, Mildred," she murmured quietly.

"Really?" Mildred exclaimed, biting her lip when she realised she had stolen the fleeting glances of her surrounding peers.

"Yes," Hecate raised her brow, "But use your magical instincts, do not rely on just the potion and the chant."

"That's the most Pippa-like thing you've ever said," Mildred said under her breath as Hecate moved away.

"Enid Nightshade, you know well enough by now that that amount of mint in any potion will become explosive," Mildred looked up and saw Enid's eyes widen at the lecture. Mildred chuckled to herself, Miss Hardbroom might be the cleverest witch she knew, but she certainly didn't know how to deal with her impish best friend. Enid caught her eye and grinned before chucking in a load more leaves.

Mildred shook her head in disbelief before looking into the deep dark green of her cauldron, imagining for a second that she was back in the forest clearing. Clearing her mind she pushed into her magic reserves, before reciting her chant. She opened one eye hopefully, seeing the momentary glow of the magic combining with the ingredients. " _Please,"_ she begged, more than anything else - she didn't want to let Miss Hardbroom down.

A bang from next to her made her wince, Enid was grinning from ear to ear. "Sorry Miss Hardbroom, but you did ask for bravery.."

Mildred had to stop herself from laughing as Miss Hardbroom looked like she'd swallowed a wasp, "Bravery and _stupidity_ are not the same Miss Nightshade.." she sniffed disapprovingly. "You can write me an essay on the difference during detention."

xxx

"I have marked your potions and graded them according to what you would have received if created as part of your Intermediate Level exam," Hecate raised her eyebrows importantly at her class. "On the whole, it is clear that we still have _plenty_ of work to do," she continued. "However there were one or two exceptions that have displayed fantastic knowledge and attention to detail." Mildred rolled her eyes at Maud as she saw Ethel look around the room pompously. Hecate noticed the interaction and had to stop herself from smirking. She flicked her wrist and parchments appeared on each pupils' desks, scrawled red penned feedback on each.

Mildred looked at hers with bated breath. She knew in the rational part of her cranium that she had done well - good even, maybe. Yet there was always that part of her that made her panic that her best was not good enough...

 _68%, B+ Much improved Mildred._

She looked up disbelievingly at Miss Hardbroom, who to her astonishment gave a small wink.

"It's _such_ a confidence boost to know I'd have passed," Ethel was drawling loudly to Felicity and anyone else who was listening, "But a B+, it at least gives me something to aim for, somewhere to go."

"I could tell her a few places to go," Enid muttered bitterly to Mildred and Maud.

"Don't let her bother you Enid, she just enjoys showing off," Mildred rolled her eyes, she tried to flick over her grading paper before her friends could see, but her shifty actions attracted the suspicion of Maud.

"How did you do Millie?" she asked caringly, clearly thinking that Mildred had hidden her grade due to a different kind of embarrassment.

"Not bad," Mildred said quickly.

"She's been harsh Mildred, I wouldn't worry, It's Miss Hardbroom after all!" Maud grinned.

"Can't be any worse than my 32%," Enid laughed, turning over Mildred's paper. "No - fricking - way!" she gasped loudly, lots of eyes turned to Enid and Mildred winced as she heard Enid say - "68%! That's got to be at least matching Ethel!"

Mildred looked at Ethel who couldn't look more gobsmacked if she had tried.

xxx


	14. Emotions

Confidence and Control

Chapter 14: Emotions

xxx

"Mildred, a word," Hecate summoned the girl as she was leaving the classroom. Mildred eyed Maud and Enid, silently telling them she would catch up with them soon.

Hecate waited for every girl to leave, Ethel still throwing haughty looks as she flounced from the lab.

"An excellent job Mildred," Hecate began, "I am hoping this is the start of things to come."

Mildred swallowed and Miss Hardbroom noticed, "You are allowed to be proud you know?" she rolled her eyes, more at herself for repeating Miss Cackle's words.

"It's not that..." Mildred mumbled sullenly, "It's just one good potion hardly makes up for years of being The Worst Witch does it?..." Hecate went to protest but Mildred continued, " And it was a Courage Potion, which _you_ knew full well I knew how to make."

The accusation in Mildred's voice sat like acid on Hecate's tongue. She had indeed given Mildred some rather obvious and purposeful coaching on her very first night at the cottage, but she would hardly go as far to say that she had done it with Mildred's grades in mind - it had just been a useful exercise with knowing it was next on the syllabus. _Teenagers! - They always make it all about themselves!_

She gave Mildred a venomous glare. "I do not like what you are insinuating girl!" Hecate glared down at Mildred who looked bewildered by her reaction but bravely met her eyes. " _You_ created that potion with the knowledge and power you have inside of you. Do you honestly think that your fellow pupils have never been taught the uses of different herbs from their family members? Of course they have! - over and over again no doubt. You and your non-magical background have always been at a disadvantage - I just levelled the playing field."

Mildred watched Hecate's reaction with horrified awe, unable and unwilling to argue back now she was in full flow. " The mere suggestion that I would in some way have allowed you to cheat! I will not allow you to constantly belittle yourself Mildred Hubble and to blame other people for both your misgivings and triumphs. You must learn to have pride in your successes, and strive to repeat them!" Hecate finally finished, inhaling with a sniff of disapproval.

Mildred stood bewildered, she wanted to say something, apologise perhaps or explain herself further, but the words wouldn't appear in her brain. She hadn't meant to sound so tetchy, and to accuse Miss Hardbroom in any way.. She stood there warily playing with her fingers, eyes no longer meeting Miss Hardbroom's darkened gaze.

"Go," Miss Hardbroom ordered, feeling uneasy in her anger and suddenly desperate to be alone.

Mildred bit her lip and scarpered from the room as if relieved to be allowed to leave. Hecate tried to swallow the pang of emotion that accompanied Mildred's reaction.

xxx

Mildred head spun with nauseated confusion. Frustration pounded through her blood, at herself for what she had said, or at Miss Hardbroom for a clear over-reaction she wasn't quite sure. She wanted to make herself sick, to at least purge some of the emotion from her body, to distract herself momentarily - but she knew Miss Hardbroom would be instantly alerted and that would only make things worse, so she swallowed the bile forming in her mouth with a grimace.

"Are you alright Mil?" Maud asked concernedly as she sat herself in the common room.

"Headache," Mildred replied half-truthfully.

"I'll have a headache after detention for sure," Enid shook her head. "Don't know why I do it to myself." she rolled her eyes. " At least it's only Miss Bat on duty tonight, she sometimes makes me hot chocolate! I'll see you two later!" she called as she left the room.

"I'm going to have a lie down," Mildred said rubbing her head, she needed time to brood. Maud nodded understandingly.

She had very nearly reached her dorm when she stumbled across Ethel Hallow, arms folded and a rather sullen frown on her face as her eyes caught Mildred's.

"I'm onto you, Mildred Hubble," she hissed, "You might think you can get away with cheating but I assure you - I'll figure it out. And when I do I'll speak to mummy and you'll be in a huge amount of trouble!"

"Cheating?" Mildred almost laughed, she had had enough of that word today, "Do you honestly think Miss Hardbroom would be fooled by _my_ cheating? Get out of my way Ethel.." Mildred went to barge past her. Ethel stepped in her way, a childish smirk on her face.

Mildred felt her anger and frustration bubbling up inside of her, "I mean it Ethel!" But Ethel just gave her a challenging look in return.

"Make me!" she said snidely.

Mildred raised her hands, muttering:

 _"I haven't got time to wait all day,_

 _Move the girl standing in the way!"_

The power surge leaving her casting finger felt wrong, far too much, mixed as it was with the uncontrolled emotions. Mildred grimaced as she heard Ethel yelp as she slammed against the wall with unnecessary force. She opened her eyes slowly and hesitantly.

Expletives ran through Mildred's mind as she stared at Ethel wincing in pain. Panic laced through, her fingers shaking.

"Miss Hardbroom!" She screamed, knowing instinctively that her form-mistress would somehow hear her. Mildred stared wide-eyed in both dread and relief as Hecate appeared...

xxx

Her finely attuned ears felt, rather than heard, Mildred's scream of panic. A non-verbal locator spell told her that she was in the Fourth Year Corridor.

When she appeared, she was met with the sight of Ethel Hallow grimacing in pain, hunched against the wall and Mildred standing over her, gravely white and with panic stricken eyes. As Mildred caught her gaze, she caught the guilt on the girl's face with a instant sick feeling in her stomach.

Hecate ignored the girl and went over to Ethel to check her vitals. She sent a few pain-relieving and mild healing spells onto her student after seeing the force marks where her back had obviously hit the wall. Thankfully, there were no signs of anything broken or any swelling.

"What - _in Merlin's name_ \- happened? Hecate breathed, nostrils flaring.

Ethel glared at Mildred, "She _attacked_ me Miss Hardbroom!" she said spitefully.

Hecate stared at Mildred, wanting to find some sign that Ethel was lying, but instead only finding truth etched upon Mildred's furrowed brow.

"Just you wait until my mother hears about this Mildred Hubble," Ethel glared.

"Enough Miss Hallow!" Hecate hissed, "Your mother is not a governor of the school anymore and as such it is high time you stopped using her as a threat." Ethel stared in gobsmacked shock, reddening in her pale face. Hecate continued, "I'll send you to the medical room to make sure, but there's unlikely to be any lasting damage. Mildred, my office!" Hecate gave a final withering glare as if daring any of the two to argue. They both kept their mouths wisely closed and a second later Mildred found herself seated in front of her teacher's solid oak desk.

xx

Mildred winced at the look Miss Hardbroom was giving her, hot shame filling her gut.

Hecate sat herself in the chair behind the desk and rubbed her temples as she stared at Mildred. Anger simmered through her brain, and yet she knew there would be more to the story than a simple unprecedented attack. It would be unfair to punish now, as angry as she was feeling. She got up and left the room without saying a word, knowing she needed to calm herself down properly before getting the truth from Mildred. She went into the staffroom which adjoined her office, pleased that it was empty and busied herself making two china cups full of blackberry tea.

She offered one to Mildred when she returned, who gazed at the with rather surprised gratitude through her red and swollen eyes. She slammed her own down with such a force that the liquid nearly split onto the desk.

"Miss Hardbroom - I... I'm so sorry.." Mildred started, wincing at her teacher's clear rage.

"It is not me that you ought to be apologising to, Mildred - It is Ethel Hallow," Hecate's eyes flashed.

Mildred nodded. Yet it was not Ethel's opinion that mattered to her...She took a tentative sip, the blackberry providing a small amount of comfort.

She tried again, "It just -... _happened_... She blocked my way and wouldn't move and I only meant to move her, only I felt my power swelling out and then she was against the wall.." Mildred flicked off the tear that had fallen down her nose.

"Emotions and magic do not mix. You must learn _control_ Mildred," Hecate shook her head unsympathetically. "If you cannot discipline your emotions you must not allow your magical reserves to build up too strongly. Have you been practising the hovering charm like I told you to?" she asked cuttingly.

"Not in the past couple of days, I've been busy with the return to school," Mildred bit her lip.

"Every day Mildred I said - without fail," Hecate reprimanded sharply.

Mildred sighed, but nodded in agreement. She stared at Miss Hardbroom, suddenly wanting and wishing to cling onto her, to apologise for the way she had spoken earlier and for all of the drama she had caused. Instead she bit her lip and played with her feat under her chair.

"What's my punishment?" she asked bracingly.

Hecate considered for a moment, "200 lines - 'I must learn to control my emotions and discipline my magic', and you can accompany me this evening into the school gardens to collect some ingredients," she said smoothly. "An apology letter to Ethel Hallow would also be appropriate."

Mildred nodded remorsefully.

Hecate pursed her lips, "You may go, Mildred. Early supper at 6pm, no later." she transferred the girl without any further ado.

She took a long calming breath, her synapses still firing viciously.

"Pippa Pentangle," she ordered the golden trimmed mirror on the wall opposite, suddenly desperate to see her.

xxx


	15. Everyone Needs a Pippa

Confidence and Control

Chapter 15: Everyone needs a Pippa

 **Thank you for some really lovely reviews and rather fascinating insights! Great when people see things in a story that you have missed, and suddenly makes sense to you.**

xxx

"Hiccup!" Pippa smiled, but her smile was fixed in place when she saw the look on her girlfriend's face. "What's wrong?" she asked, eyes narrowing.

"I'm not disturbing you from something important?" Hecate asked, Pippa's hair was smoothed into a low bun - her signature style for when she had an important meeting.

"School board," Pippa replied nonchalantly, "They've gone though now, rather satisfied I hope - so I've all the time in the world," Pippa said breathlessly, "What's wrong Hiccup?"

"Mildred," Hecate raised her eyebrows to the heavens.

"What else?" Pippa said without accusation.

Hecate sighed as she regaled Pippa with the events of the day.

"I'm afraid I was too harsh with her this afternoon, I lost my temper and I caused her to lose control with Ethel. Then I felt even angrier that she had lost control.. I don't know what I'm doing Pipsqueak! That much is abundantly clear..."

"She's a teenager Hiccup," Pippa gave a gentle smile, "It's like you've forgotten that they're a different, and rather irrational breed."

Hecate gave a small smile at that. "I just hope she can forgive me, you should have seen her Pips - she looked at me like I'd two heads this morning."

"One is frightening enough," Pippa smiled cheekily. "Mildred shouldn't have said what she did, To be honest Hiccup, she probably needed your reaction," she continued with self-satisfied knowingness at Hecate's slanted eyebrow. "Tough love they call it. There's a reason why Mildred respects you, why she almost clings to your support. It's open and honest yet comes from a place of yearning for her to be the best person she can. Mildred knows that deep down."

Hecate felt Pippa's words soothing her, though she still felt rather ruffled. "She was so upset at her loss of control with Ethel. I was so cross with the situation, but it likely came off with me being so cross with her. She should have been keeping her magical reserves in check though - I had warned her!" Hecate shook her head.

"Sometimes people need to find things out for themselves Hecate," Pippa smiled, "You were a lot more stubborn than dear Mildred when it came to following advice of teachers."

"A stubbornness that was beaten out of me," Hecate mumbled through gritted teeth.

"Hardly effectively, might I add," Pippa smirked. "What punishment did you give her?"

"Lines, an apology letter in an attempt to appease Ethel Hallow and a detention of sorts collecting ingredients with me tonight."

"I'm sure Mildred will appreciate the time spent with you, even if it's in the form of a detention," Pippa smiled brightly.

"I'm not so sure Pips," Hecate grimaced, "I was actually thinking the girl would probably benefit from a little more freedom - I'm perhaps being a tad overbearing."

"Perhaps," Pippa said fairly, "But why don't you ask Mildred's opinion?"

"Because I might not like the answer..." Hecate replied truthfully.

xxx

Mildred threw herself on her bed, finally letting the tears drop properly. All she had wanted to do was to start the new half-term off well, to show Miss Hardbroom that all of her time hadn't been wasted... Today had gone so badly wrong.

In her head she had come so far, but it was clear that she still had further to go.

xxx

Miss Hardbroom had been distant and aloof as she served Mildred her supper, speaking only in instructions. Mildred ate her shepherd's pie up quickly, needing something to focus on.

Once the plates had been magicked away. Hecate went to put on her warm black cloak, and Mildred followed suit, putting on her navy woollen coat with a hand-knitted hat and scarf. Hecate led her down the corridors and staircases in the turreted castle until they reached the door that would lead them into the castle's grounds.

A walled garden hid carefully grown plants from mischievous pupils and required the large brass key from Miss Hardbroom's belt to gain access through an ornate metal gate. Mildred was reminded of 'The Secret Garden' and went to tell Miss Hardbroom so, before she remembered they were hardly on chatting terms.

Hecate immediately switched into teacher mode, pointing out different plants and detailing their properties as Mildred snipped as carefully as she could. It was good, therapeutic even, to concentrate on only the plants in front of her. To not have to think.

"We need to go to the lake Mildred, Rigid Hornwort is best obtained at twilight and the Fifth Years are making Clear Skin Potions tomorrow," Miss Hardbroom said seriously.

Mildred laughed, Miss Hardbroom's intensely serious manner making it even funnier.

"What?" Hecate asked, puzzled.

"That cannot be a genuine plant name!" Mildred smirked.

Hecate smiled inwardly, happy to hear the sound of Mildred's giggles again. Outwardly, she kept up her sensible teacher persona, " _Ceratophyllum Demersum,"_ she said crisply, "But too much potency will indeed cause rigid warts," she added dryly, hoping to further Mildred's giggles. She got the desired effect. Hecate felt her face relax as much of the tension in the air dissipated.

They had reached the lake that was usually off bounds to Cackles' pupils in the winter months, but was a hive of (well supervised) activity in the summer. Miss Hardbroom pointed out plant with whorls of dark green leaves growing close to the banks and Mildred began to snip, still shaking with laughter as she did.

Once done, Mildred stood up and copied Miss Hardbroom who was staring at the beautiful sight of the clouds moving over the moon, casting strange shadows on the lake. Absent of light pollution, apart from the small ball that Hecate had conjured to follow them, the lake reflected the appearance of the stars and the few rays of orange sunlight filtering from deep in the horizon.

Miss Hardbroom went over to where a large tree root acted as a kind of bench and sat primly. Mildred followed, the two staring at the calming sight of the water rippling in the draughty wind.

"Mildred... I need to apologise.." Hecate started, at the exact same time that Mildred said, "Miss Hardbroom I'm really sorry about.."

Both looked at each other in rather bemused surprise. Mildred gave a nervous giggle as Hecate bit her lip.

As the adult, Miss Hardbroom spoke first, "I shouldn't have spoken to you how I did, it was unfair of me to be so harsh with you," Mildred looked at her in genuine surprise.

"But I started it.. I should never have suggested that you planned that lesson with me in mind. It was just _a lot_ \- to take in I mean... I haven't created a potion that good in well... _forever_."

"I wouldn't say that Mildred, some of your _illicit_ ones have been rather _potent_ ," Miss Hardbroom said crisply.

Mildred smirked, but it quickly fell off her face. "And then Ethel... I just lost it," Mildred hung her head, eyes downcast.

Hecate used her bony index finger to prise Mildred's chin up, like she had on previous occasions but with a kind of harshness this time, "I've told you before Mildred Hubble, _stop_ feeling sorry for yourself. Instead use that energy of yours to put it right," she said fiercely, letting go when she knew her message burrowed into Mildred's brain.

"I don't think things will ever be _right_ with Ethel," Mildred mumbled.

Hecate sighed, she was sick to death of the ridiculous feud between the members of her form group. "I actually think Ethel just needs a good friend," Miss Hardbroom said, voicing something she had been dwelling on for a while.

Mildred stared at her mouth open.

"Oh put your tongue back in Mildred!" Hecate raised her brow. Something akin to a smile fell upon Mildred's face. Miss Hardbroom paused for a moment. "Ethel has been raised to believe that the only measure that matters is how good a witch she is, whether she is top of the class or not, so naturally acts out when she feels that _threatened_.."

Hecate gave the small satisfied smirk that clearly displayed her own inner knowledge that she was wholeheartedly correct.

"I was much the same.. Still am really. I had Pippa though.." Hecate continued. "She taught me that strength of character, being a _good_ person, is much more important. Without her, I doubt I would have become a teacher at all - so intent I was to make my mark."

"You've made your mark I'm sure Miss Hardbroom..." Mildred smirked knowing what the other girls said about Miss Hardbroom's reputation in the witching world, "So you think I should be Ethel's Pippa?" Mildred questioned, bemused.

"I think the two of you would actually get along, if you put all of this competitive business to one side," Hecate continued without letting Mildred protest, "And no Mildred - I am not _blaming you_ ," she finished with such an air of fierce finality that Mildred did not dare to voice any of her doubts.

Feeling suddenly overwhelmed, Mildred stepped up from the root and clumsily moved onto the pebbled cove. She took a pebble from the ground and skimmed it across the waves.

To her immense surprise another pebble skimmed from the left hand side of her, dipping in and out of the waves ostentatiously but with no huge splashes. Mildred beamed up at the tall looming figure now standing next to her. "Did you magic that?" Mildred asked narrowing her eyes through a beaming smile.

"Self belief is a kind of magic, Mildred," Hecate replied.

She looked at the dainty pocket watch hanging from inside her cloak and held out another pebble for Mildred. "Your target is 4 minutes," she said pointedly, enjoying Mildred's sigh and eye-roll as she begun her task.

xxx


	16. Indebted

Confidence and Control

Chapter 16: Indebted

 **This ones a bit bubblegum fluffy and probably strays more away from Hecate's true characterization. She's almost certainly become a different version in my mind than the one currently being portrayed on the WW (last week's Season 3 ep 1!) but I think I'm ok with that and I hope you all are too.**

xxx

Mildred lay in bed thinking about Miss Hardbroom's comment on Ethel. In her opinion, Ethel Hallow was long past saving. Yet Miss Hardbroom had been so sure...

 _"I was much the same.. Still am really. I had Pippa though.."_

It wasn't hard to imagine the sullen, gothic teenager, broodingly hunched over her books, not even remotely interested in any kind of social interaction. Yet Pippa didn't give up and Miss Hardbroom found true friendship, and later true love.

Could she, Mildred Hubble, really be capable of that kind of influence?

She probably owed it to Miss Hardbroom to try, she thought with a pang. She did feel indebted to Miss Hardbroom, and this perhaps was the way to pay back some of what she felt she owed. Even though she doubted Ethel would be accepting of any try of friendship, the hatchet would most definitely need burying deep.

But animosity most definitely could be buried and truly forgiven and forgotten. Mildred knew that now.. How often had she been at odds with Miss Hardbroom? And that hadn't mattered when it came down to it. Hadn't seemed to matter to Miss Hardbroom when she offered up her own home as a place of sanctuary to a much needing young witch..

Mildred sighed and stretched, the thought of being nice to Ethel Hallow causing an actual physical reaction. She twisted and turned, feeling the blood in her body pulse around with more energy than it should have.

Her brain waves were not quieting and she stared up at her cracked ceiling in frustration. She could sketch - but sketching in candlelight always led to frustration as she couldn't ever get the shadows to look right.

 _If only I had a book..._ Mildred thought with a sigh.

Deciding to risk a trip to the library, she padded barefoot out into the corridor, grabbing a blanket and placing it around her shoulders to combat the breezy nature of the castle.

She didn't hear a sound on her way and sighed with relief as she made it into the vast room. Finding the potions section, she found the most boring looking book she could. Turning the first page, she almost laughed when she saw the meticulous notes in the margins in a hand she most certainly recognised. Clearly Miss Hardbroom hadn't found the book boring. She had intended to take the book back upstairs, but she found herself transfixed at the neat, capable scrawl correcting ingredient amounts and methods.

xxx

A cup of tea with Miss Cackle had definitely done the trick. She had listened sympathetically to Hecate explaining the Ethel situation and confirmed that she had done the right thing, nodding with true interest and a twinkle in her eye.

Ada was proud that Hecate hadn't completely lost her temper with the girls and had punished Mildred harshly, but fairly. She had looked at the situation from Milred's point of view and ensured that the girl felt supported and not just reprimanded.

"I'm so glad you've both made up," Ada had said. It expression felt wrong to Hecate, far too casual for a teacher and pupil, and Hecate tried to think of a more suitable phrase, but found none.

Hecate had then changed the conversation to one that she was more comfortable with, running through meticulous plans for the upcoming Hallowe'en celebrations and rituals which left her feeling rather self-satisfied that all was well organised and therefore would of course go to plan. Ada had had second thoughts about need for 'Trick or Treat' since all of the business with the founding stone and although Hecate believed the girls should be content with simple ceremonial fires, she didn't mind including the odd chant and pumpkin as long as Trick or Treat was banned from the castle under pain of severe detentions.

She marched briskly down the corridors soon after, ready to retire to bed after a productive evening, but stopped abruptly when her inner magic tingled with alarm in response to her impressive instincts.

 _Mildred Hubble,_ she seethed inwardly, _knowingly_.

Would that girl give her _any_ rest?

A quick location spell gave away Mildred's hiding place and so she changed direction and marched towards the library, ready to put the fear of Morgana Le Fey into her unruly charge and desperate to know what the girl was currently trying. However her dramatic pushing open of the door was missed completely by the girl, who's head was rested on yellowing book, snoring softly.

Hecate stared in astonishment, how anyone could fall asleep in that position she couldn't contemplate, She chuckled, out of relief more than anything else that Mildred wasn't actually up to mischief. But the girl did look annoying sweet in her slumber, her freckled face squished and a piece of wavy hair blowing around in her breaths.

Part of her wanted to shake the girl awake, or make a pointed and loud comment about not dribbling on important textbooks, but she doubted that without Maud and Enid flanking her, it was unlikely to be one of her schemes. She considered that perhaps the girl had just struggled to sleep after a long day.

She used her casting finger to vanish the sleeping girl into her bed, closing the book and placing it back on the shelf. She transferred herself to Mildred's room and felt rather comforted seeing the sleeping girl in her bed; she lingered for a minute or two longer than she intended.

xxx

Mildred awoke with a stretch the next morning, before panic jolted her eyes wide open. But she wasn't still in the library. Confused, she sat up in her bed, noticing a book half covered with a handwritten note on her bedside table.

She looked at the book, it had a slightly worn fabricated hardback cover and the title, Little Women.

She had heard of the title before, but was surprised that Miss Hardbroom had a non-magical book, before she reminded herself of the huge Victorian volumes the woman had in her study. Clearly the old-fashioned nature and context made up for the lack of magic.

Intrigued she read the note in Miss Hardbroom's perfect elaborate script:

 _Mildred,_

 _I've found that fiction is much better to nod off to. I think you may like this one, one of the March sisters is as unruly as yourself. I expect to hear your thoughts._

 _You may drop off one hundred lines of 'I must remain in my bedroom after lights out.'' during supper tonight._

 _Miss H. Hardbroom_

Mildred rolled her eyes. Trust Miss Hardbroom to give both a gift and a punishment rolled into one.

xxx


	17. The Disappearing Act

Confidence and Control

 **Apologies for the long wait!**

Chapter 17:

The Disappearing Act

xxx

"Thanks for the book," Mildred said as she plonked herself down next to Hecate at breakfast the next day. Hecate continued spooning thick porridge nonchalantly but Mildred hoped she saw a slight quirking tremor of a smirk across her slanting cheekbones.

"I'm sorry for being out of bed.." Mildred began, but Hecate simply eyed her dubiously.

"Eat your porridge," the form-mistress commanded silkily.

Mildred obliged, trying to school her face about its lumpy texture, not wanting another lecture about _sustenance_ or whatever it was that Miss Hardbroom called it.

"It would be nice, Mildred Hubble,..." Hecate rolled her bs in well-practised diction, "if we could have a day without any _dramatics_."

Mildred bit back a retort on how it wasn't like she _sought out_ the trouble which always seemed intent to find her and instead replied with, "I'll try." _I'll try to stay out of Ethel's way anyway..._

"See to it," Hecate warned. "Remember what I said regarding Miss Hallow. Your feud needs to end before anyone else gets hurt," _Before you get hurt, or end up doing anything that I cannot protect you or defend you from,_ she implored with a widened stare.

The girl rolled her eyes, but stopped at the seriousness of the look that Miss Hardbroom was giving her.

xx

After breakfast, Mildred sliced the ingredients her teacher handed her on auto-pilot, barely even registering the lectures on the herbs that Miss Hardbroom was giving. Her mind was all over the place, still feeling a sickening edge of guilt underneath, but feeling stubborn where Ethel was concerned. She was _not Pippa_ \- she hadn't the same capacity to bring out the best in everyone like Miss Pentangle could.. and Ethel was no Hecate. Miss Hardbroom hid her secretly soft core under a granite-like shell, but Mildred found it difficult to believe that everything about Ethel wasn't rotten.

Rumours had spread, and Maud and Enid had asked Mildred point blank if she had indeed cast a stunning spell at Ethel. Enid looked amazed and had grinned, whereas Maud had looked worried at her friend's seeming lack of control; it did nothing to dissipate the guilt she was feeling which was churning in her core.

Indeed, Ethel's haughty looks showed that she still very much saw herself as the victim, and she sure as hell wanted everyone else to see her that way too. She didn't say anything to Mildred directly, but Mildred could see that she was spreading her version of events: raised eyebrows and gaping mouths targeted her as she made her way into class.

Her magic felt unbridled, boiling in her blood in its potency. She had practised her control charms whenever she got a spare minute between classes and tried her best to listen to instructions from teachers with rapt attention. Miss Cackle smiled genuinely at her as she achieved a plant growing charm first time but that smiled became rather fixed when the rather sedate orchid began to grow to the size of a sunflower. _Too much_ , Mildred saw her mistake before she had chance to fix it.

"A little too much enthusiasm I think Mildred," Ada told her warmly.

Mildred tried to smile back but inside she felt crushed.

"Never mind Mildred," Ethel said cockily as she magicked the plant back to its original size and then performed the charm herself _perfectly._

xxx

The day kept going from bad to worse. In Flying with Miss Drill, Mildred struggled to make the broom follow her directions and almost fell off in the heavy wind that was quickly changing the season from Autumn into Winter making her feel that all of that practice with Pippa was pointless, and in Spell Science after spending all lesson making meticulous notes, the pen she was fiddling with broke and the eruption left her hands and her notebook covered with splodges of ink.

She tried washing the heavy black ink stain off in the toilets to no avail, and she did not dare cast a vanishing spell on something so specific with fear of vanishing away her fingers. Not while she was feeling so out of control, so hopeless and strange.

When she made her way to potions she must have looked more than a little defeated. Miss Hardbroom eyed her curiously as she entered the classroom last and with hawk-like attention to detail spotted the ink stains on her hands with a disapproving shake of her head.

"We have standards Miss Hubble," Hecate's eyes sought the heavens as she vanished all trace. Mildred bit her lip as she went to sit down, red hot with embarrassment.

"Mildred clearly doesn't," Ethel stage whispered to Felicity.

"Enough Ethel," Hecate warned lowly. Ethel shot a triumphant grin at Mildred.

Miss Hardbroom tasked the girls with making a binding potion, tutting loudly when they got out their textbooks and vanishing them away in one smooth movement. "Honestly girls, this is a basic level potion," she glared at the offenders.

Ethel smirked exultantly and Mildred knew that she must have the recipe memorised, she certainly didn't and she didn't know where to even begin.

She looked over to the ingredients that the other girls were using and hastily grabbed some that looked similar, recognising some of the herbs that she had prepared that morning - if only she had _listened_. Miss Hardbroom eyed her with a slightly exasperated gaze when she saw how hesitant the girl was being.

It all went wrong so very quickly, but Mildred wasn't quite sure how... She was just retrieving some peppermint from the front table when she heard the sluicing sound of spilled potion and hastily turned round in horror to see that it was hers foaming away at its brim. She tried to vanish the green tinged spillage before Miss Hardbroom saw it, but in her panic the potion only began foaming more rapidly.

"My legs are stuck together!" Maud shouted in horrified awe staring at where the potion had nicked at her boots.

"Mine too!" Enid called from the other side, but was grinning as if it was hilarious.

"She's going to render us all immobile," Ethel called dramatically. "Trust the Worst Witch to mess up a simple binding potion!"

Mildred span round to meet Miss Hardbroom. "Well?" her form-mistress said, hands on her hips, clearly expecting Mildred to remedy the situation herself, but Mildred felt her magic pulling at her from all directions, ironically making her feel rather powerless.

"Please Miss Hardbroom," she begged as the older witch raised her hands with exasperated but determined eyes, banishing the offending potion and returning the order back to the lab with a self-satisfied nod.

"Silence!" she called over the cacophony of the excitement. "Continue with your potions and let us not have anymore silly _accidents_..." she drawled the last word threateningly, catching the gaze of Mildred and seeing an accusatory look of hurt in her pupil's chocolate eyes.

She felt a prickle of magical static and watched in amazement as Mildred Hubble vanished into thin air.

xxx

"Where did Mildred go?

"Did she just vanish Miss?

"I didn't know she could do that!"

"When did she learn? How did she learn?"

Hecate stared at her class, unable to answer. Maud look concerned, Enid awed, Felicity like she couldn't wait to spread the news, Ethel so horrified it would have been comical under other less serious circumstances.

"Class dismissed," she said quietly. "Dismissed!" she repeated loudly when they stood rooted to the spot, hysteria breaking into her usually controlled tones.

xxx

Mildred blinked as she reappeared in her bedroom. Had she just? No that wasn't possible.. Miss Hardbroom must have transported her away...

Feeling the strange dizziness that she knew was nausea she heaved into the wash basin. Her head was pounding. She breathed deeply before vomiting again. A tear dropped down her face, she shuddered as two cold hands gripped her shoulders, the sensation jolting her despite their cooling and almost soothing sensation.

"Are you done?

Pale face met grey with concern lacing her voice. Miss Hardbroom waited for the girl to nod before moving her towards the bed, "Sit," she commanded, sitting with Mildred and tracing her cool hands over to Mildred's forehead.

Soft muttering barely above a whisper made Mildred's skin prickle, but a wash of relief spread over her body made her feel suddenly more alert as the sickness and dizziness disappeared.

The two sat in silence for a moment as Mildred caught her breath back.

"A day without incidents..." Miss Hardbroom shook her head, rising to her feet now she knew the girl was no longer sick. "Never a day Mildred Hubble without _incidents_...When did you learn that? Do you even _realise_ how _dangerous_ transferring is without _proper instruction_?" she seethed.

"Transferring?" Mildred blinked, "It wasn't you?"

Hecate looked at her in amazement, staring at the girl's openly confused face with her eyes wide in mirrored disbelief, before letting out a disbelieving snort. " _Only you_ Mildred. You haven't been secretly practising?"

"No.." Mildred's lips formed a giant 'O', "It just _happened_..."

"Just happened," Hecate drawled in a voice dripping in sarcasm. "Of course Mildred Hubble for you it would _just happen_. Never mind the fact that is unwise to even try that kind of magic until university level and even then most witches will never manage it properly. Yet you somehow manage to do it without even realising. Just to try and give me a heart attack no doubt," she snarled.

"I _... I transferred_ ," Mildred breathed disbelievingly.

"Rather conspicuously, might I add!" Hecate twisted her hands together in aggravation. "How I am going to explain this to the Grand Wizard, I do not know. He will no doubt assume it was me who taught you."

"Will it happen again?" Mildred bit her lip worriedly, watching her form-mistress's panicked reaction. The seriousness of the situation was beginning to dawn on her.

" _Yes_ ," Hecate breathed. "Your magic needs your control. You were very lucky to end up in your bedroom and to remain in the academy. It could have ended very badly indeed Mildred!"

"But I can't contro-" Mildred started. "I don't know how it happened. It just did! One minute I was in Potions and then I was here... I can't control it, just like I couldn't control my magic with Ethel!" her voice rose with agitation.

"You _must_ Mildred." Hecate sighed, a deep sigh that showed the weight that she felt upon her shoulder.

"I will have to teach you transference. Properly. As much I disagree with someone so young learning it, it should keep your magic from having these dangerous bursts where you could find yourself lost or worse -trapped in the void with no idea of how to return. But you must take it seriously, you will find it exhausting and no doubt come to hate me at times for pushing your magic and body beyond your limitations, but there is to be absolutely _no_ excuses, _no_ tomfoolery or shenanigans. For once - you will follow my instructions to the very letter. Is that clear?"

Mildred nodded slowly, Hecate was relieved to see her serious face, even if it did appear rather anxious.

"I'm a mess aren't I.." Mildred said glumly, hugging her knees to her chest. "A walking disaster!"

Hecate stopped in her tracks, she had been pacing without even realising. She sat next to Mildred and gave her her most fierce glare.

"I've said before to stop pitying yourself Mildred Hubble, I will not repeat myself. Scary or not, you have achieved something awe inspiring and great today. You might just be the youngest person on record to have ever done so. It is my job to worry Mildred, not yours..." Hecate finished with a blink of firm smile that slightly lessened the etched concern of her charge's face.

"Now I must go and report to Miss Cackle before word gets to her," Hecate furrowed her brow before adding, "You are to go to Mrs Tapioca and ask for a sandwich on my orders, you will have exhausted your energy reserves. I will be checking Mildred..." she added lowly.

Mildred didn't dare argue.

xx

"What a story!" Felicity Foxglove exclaimed gleefully, "Mildred Hubble, _transferring in the middle of Potions!_! So young too. I always thought you would have been the first Ethel..."

"Give it a rest Felicity!" Ethel snarled. "I'm sure it was just a fluke.. She's still the worst witch at Cackles. Can't even get a binding potion right."

"Like that matters? Not with this Ethel! Even some adults cannot transfer. Did you see Miss Hardbroom's face?" Felicity was secretly enjoying her competitive friend's reaction.

"I said - _give it a rest_!" Ethel hissed, brown eyes widened and with a hint of green playing around her irises.

She was sick to death of Mildred Hubble always coming up smelling of roses. She had planned her payback on Mildred meticulously, spelling her burner to rapidly heat her potion when the girl had been collecting ingredients. Her friends had been too busy to even notice that the flame had turned a vibrant blue instead of the expected orange safety flame and Mildred had got the blame when the potion boiled over. Yet somehow still Mildred managed to upstage her...

The girl needed to be trodden on, squished and thrown back to the non-magical world where she belonged...

xx


	18. Fight and Flight

Confidence and Control

Chapter 18: Fight and Flight

xx

"Headmistress.." Hecate began, announcing her presence as she rematerialised. She had long got past the stage of knocking on Ada's door.

"Ahh Hecate, there you are!" Ada Cackle peered over the glasses which were perching precariously on her nose, "Perhaps you can explain some of the nonsense I've just heard from Miss Bat, she's all of a fluster- making no sense at all...- apparently all the fourth years are saying that Mildred Hubble transferred! Right out of Potion's class apparently.. Simply ridiculous."

Hecate's nose twitched in agitation, of course the whole school would be talking, gossip spread like magical wildfire in a school for girls ...and this... She swallowed, "It's _true_ unfortunately Headmistress."

Ada's face was a picture of shock and amazement, her usually straight brows shooting into her grey hairline. It would have been comical to many, but Miss Hardbroom's face remained deadpan. "Bbb-ut that''s impossible Hecate!" Ada finally murmured, face rather ashen. "She's still a child... She can't have..."

"A child with _too much_ magic..." Hecate rubbed her temples and sat in her usual seat across from Ada's desk, too exhausted to stand any longer and knowing this would not be a quick conversation. "I saw it that day I taught her non-verbal spellcasting _. I should have realised_. She's an accumulation of all of the should-be witches that came before her."

"So magic has welled up inside of her?" Ada questioned seriously.

"It's grown in strength, especially recently. I should have realised!" Hecate repeated and groaned in frustration. "I have been far too blind where that girl is concerned on far too many occasions!"

"No one could have predicted this Hecate!" Ada said solemly, her piercingly warm grey eyes trying to send comfort to her clearly troubled deputy. It was rare to see Hecate Hardbroom look so visibly distressed, the woman ceased her pacing and sat in the seat opposite Ada with a huff of despair.

"Perhaps, but I shouldn't have opened the gate to her magic, not when her emotions are still not stable. I did wonder why it was so difficult, why it put up so much of a fight..."

"You weren't to know my dear, and it would have happened eventually anyway.." Ada placed made her way around her desk and placed her hand on her deputy's shoulder. "No one in their wildest dreams would think it was possible. Mildred Hubble - our resident worst witch turning into the most powerful of them all..." She traced a circular pattern for several moments until she felt the tension in her friend's muscles lessen. "You have done so much for that girl," she murmured, "We can't possibly get every right Hecate and Mildred certainly needs the confidence boost that's certainly come from this." Hecate bit her lip on her retort - Miss Cackle always managed to find a silver lining to even the most dark of clouds.

"Have you asked her about the Godmother proposal?" Ada lowered her voice to almost a whisper, "She most certainly _needs_ you now. Will need you to stop her getting into trouble from all of this.."

Hecate looked pained as her usually upright posture slumped. "She won't like me after I've taught her proper transference. She will _resent_ me.. The methods involved..."

Ada knew what Hecate was referring to, knew that Hecate had been taught transference at Witch Training College with the infamous Mistress Broomhead, who according to Pippa had been relentless and formidable in her exacting standards, who had taken a special kind of _liking_ to Hecate, and due to which had pushed her greatly... Pushed her to become the incredibly powerful witch she was today... _But at what cost_? Ada had never quite gotten the full story from her deputy, but knew from Hecate's half-suppressed shudders that Mistress Broomhead had clearly taught with an iron rod.

Ada knew that Hecate believed she had become a carbon-copy of her old formidable teacher and couldn't see that despite appearances, her well-hidden but deeply caring nature meant that could never happen. She was not, and could never be the kind that didn't care about her pupils. Tough, perhaps - but she would never cross the line into cruelty.

She gave her old friend's shoulder one last firm squeeze. "Mildred will like you regardless of whatever you have to put her through. She sees through facades like no other, even when you once did a rather impressive job of pretending to dislike her. After all you've been through together Hecate, you will get through this. Mildred will forgive you for being tough on her, _she always does..."_ Ada gave a smile at the thought of the rather sweet and growing relationship between her exacting deputy and troublemaking pupil. A relationship which had blossomed into a mutual understanding of each other, which was surely likely to be lasting.

Ada pushed her glasses up from her nose, eyes twinkling. "Now go and phone Pippa and talk it through with her," she gave a knowing smile, "and invite her to our Hallow'een celebrations too whilst you're at it," Ada added with the kind of finality akin to a mother giving instructions to a small child.

Hecate gave a small, shy smile in return, "Yes Miss Cackle," she said gratefully, bowing her head respectfully as she left the room, a rush of warm emotion bubbling inside of her.

xxx

"Mildred?" Maud questioned as she and Enid slipped into her friend's room, finding her slumped on her bed, staring at the ceiling.

"Are you okay?" Enid furrowed her brows as the two friends joined the girl on her bed.

"Pretty shocked," Mildred admitted.

"I think we all are," Maud gave a disbelieving sigh, which turned into a grin, "Ethel's the most though!"

"Should see her face!" Enid laughed in agreement.

"Did Miss Hardbroom teach you?" Maud inquired, Mildred wondered if there was a touch of jealousy to her tone. She supposed it only natural that there would be, with Maud's family always piling the pressure on her studies.

Mildred snorted, "Miss Hardbroom? Not a chance. She's rather angry actually. I never exactly make it easy for her do I? It just happened Maud - I don't know why and I don't know how - but Miss Hardbroom says she's going to have to teach me now. I'm sure she's thrilled..." Mildred huffed sarcastically.

"But transference Mildred - so cool! Barely any witches can do it. Only the really powerful ones!" Enid raised her brows comically.

"It's really difficult to learn," Maud added sulkily. "You might not be able to manage it again.."

"Well Miss Hardbroom certainly knows what she's doing Maud. I'm sure whatever she's got in mind for Mildred will be effective. Just think of the mischief we can cause Mils when you can transfer. You'll be able to get into Mrs Tapioca's pantry!" Enid laughed.

"Trust you Enid!" Mildred smiled at her friend gratefully.

xxx

Mildred was rather glad of being required to eat her meals in Miss Hardbroom's quarters, knowing that she would have all the eyes of the hundreds of Cackle's witches upon her if she were to walk into the dining hall that evening. She would have to face them eventually she supposed, but the transference seemed so fresh, so new, not a part of her yet, and the thought of having to explain made her bite her lip in worry.

She let herself into Hecate's room, without knocking for the first time, but with the awareness that the door was most likely magicked to keep unwelcome guests out; it swung freely to permit her entry.

Stepping into the kitchen, Mildred found her teacher frying away something on her gas ringed hob, the smell mouthwatering despite her disinterest. Hecate's posture looked relaxed from behind whilst cooking, not slumped (Mildred was sure she wasn't capable) but without the poised muscles and slender limbs in their usually abrupt extension and tension.

"There's tea on the table," Miss Hardbroom stated her acknowledgement of Mildred's presence without even looking behind her, "And a revival potion," she added firmly, still not turning, "Before you even begin to complain, yes it is necessary after today's events."

Mildred's found that her want to argue had completely gone, she returned to the living quarters and sat down at the table, shuddering as she forced the potion down in one go and grateful for the slightly cooled blackberry tea to take the taste away.

Food was served up briskly, high-carb spaghetti with chicken and lots of veg in a rather tasty sauce. Mildred ate fast, knowing the expectation would be to eat the lot and feeling rather strangely blasé about food in light of everything. Finishing first for once, Mildred had time to watch and really analyse Miss Hardbroom, noticing that Hecate managed to make eating the rather difficult pasta look easy, twining strands expertly around her fork neatly before placing it into her mouth, whereas she knew she must have a few flecks of tomato splattered on her face. Miss Hardbroom clearly felt Mildred's eyes upon her, for she quirked an eyebrow as she met the girl's eyes, amusement at being observed plain on her face.

"You're certainly very good at eating spaghetti Miss Hardbroom," Mildred said awkwardly, desperate for something to say.

Hecate resisted the urge to roll her eyes at Mildred's rather gawky comment.

She swallowed, "My mother was Italian..." she said softly. "My father attempted various dishes when I was young, wanting me to be in touch with my maternal heritage. He wasn't a very good cook and the pasta used to clump, yet the expectation would be to still mind your manners when eating."

Mildred stared, dumbfounded that Hecate was actually choosing to direct a conversation to her closely guarded personal side. She stared at the sharp-featured woman analytically, seeing the dark features, raven hair and chiselled cheeks in a different way to before.

"I get my pale skin from my father's side. Their blood runs Scottish for centuries," Hecate continued much more matter-of-factly. "I find Italy much too hot and stuffy, so I must take after my father more."

"Do you visit Scotland?" Mildred asked interestedly.

"There's no one left to visit," Hecate furrowed her brow. Mildred bit her lip for a moment, feeling pity seep up inside her. She hated the thought of Miss Hardbroom family-less.

"You wouldn't have to visit anyone Miss Hardbroom, but you must have some lovely memories," she continued determinedly.

"Yes. But they are just _memories_ Mildred," Hecate shook her head, but Mildred saw the small wince that Miss Hardbroom gave.

Mildred watched as she stacked her dish on top of her own and went off to clean them in the kitchen, instead of just magicking them away like she always did. Mildred wondered whether she needed a moment to compose herself, for when she came back she had a new business-like edge to her, all glinting eyes and rigid posture, as if her soft edges had been scrubbed at, rather than the plates.

She moved to the armchair and beckoned Mildred to follow.

Hecate sat rigidly on the hardbacked armchair, ankles crossing with ladylike precision, all traces of any softness gone for good. Mildred slouched into the grey sofa, thankful that the fire was blazing at what now seemed a strangely chillier atmosphere. Facing Hecate, she realised the woman's eyes were wider and rounded than usual, Mildred wondered if she was nervous and that made her heart pound faster.

"Now Mildred, I have spoken to Miss Cackle and she has agreed with me that it is for the best that _I_ be the one to coach you in transference. What you must _understand_ Mildred is that transference is not intended for someone so young to learn. The methods involved are rather _draconian_ and _archaic_ , but as you have already displayed the ability, they will be effective in helping you to garner some control."

"What exactly is involved?" Mildred asked timidly, Miss Hardbroom's concealed anxiety making her shudder strangely.

" _Fear_ ," Hecate replied simply, noticing Mildred suppress a flinch of surprise at her candidacy.

"Fear?" Mildred narrowed her eyes.

"We will be tapping in to your natural fight or flight response and using it to our advantage," Hecate continued, not allowing her to process the emotion beginning to stir inside of her, the guilt that was growing by the minute, the concern and instinct to protect from danger...

"So like spiders and the dark and stuff?" Mildred tried to sound unmoved, but her voice caught a bit at the end. _It must be bad for Miss Hardbroom to not try and brush off any dramatics._

"You have _never_ been remotely afraid of spiders and you stopped fearing the dark first year - the night I made your class collect moon-infused juniper berries," Miss Hardbroom replied briskly.

"You _knew?"_ Mildred was agog, she had tried her best to hide her fright from her classmates. She had thought she was successful.

"It was a _silly_ fear for a young witch," Hecate shook her head.

"A bit unnecessary, I would have grown out of it," Mildred muttered, "So if not the dark? Then what?"

" _Genuine fear,_ Mildred Hubble, the kind of stuff that makes your heart pound and your blood curdle. The things you are afraid of but don't even know it yet..." Mildred swallowed as Hecate continued, eyes ablaze from the glow of the fire. She looked haunting, or even haunted; her face urgent and her skin waxy.

"How?" Mildred felt mystified, "If I don't even know what I am afraid of?"

"There is a creature, a deity of sorts, known as a _masikim_. He seeks to show you all the things that you dread as you stand before him. You cannot fight him, nor can you escape by any natural means once he has you under his spell, for he paralyses your body to rigidity. You must be saved by another, or to save yourself by fleeing - that is where transference comes in." Hecate narrowed her eyes, carefully observing her charge's reaction. The girl had paled, but looked Hecate boldly in the eyes.

"There's no other way?" Mildred asked biting her lip, the thought of being confronted with her unknown fears sounding terrifying.

Hecate lowered her lashes, "There's no other _effective_ way, Mildred," she confirmed. "Not without placing you in the face of danger. I will help you as much as I can," she added, suddenly feeling a strange urge to grab hold of Mildred in some way, but instead she fiddled with her hands clasped on her dress.

Mildred swallowed again, gulping down the brisk air with an almost audible sound. "You - you learnt like this?" Mildred queried.

Hecate nodded, memories flooding back into her mind like a show-reel. She shook them away as Mildred caught her eye once more.

"Will I be able to face it?" the girl asked bravely. Hecate felt pride and affection warm her stomach to its core.

"I wouldn't rate a masakim's chance against you Mildred Hubble," she said truthfully.

xxx

Under the cover of darkness, Ethel added the final ingredient to the swirling grey sludge in front of her - a hair taken from Mildred's own hairbrush which she had stolen from her room when the girl had momentarily left her dorm to brush her teeth, the potion fizzled with a hum of magic before settling and turning dark mauve in colour.

Filled with rage and desperation, Ethel stirred, looking more like a haunted witch from Macbeth rather than a fourteen year old with a bow in her hair. Dinner had been her final straw, listening to the hundreds of voices hum around her about how good a witch Mildred must be to transfer so young..

It was meant to be HER - Not some strange half-witch without a pedigree or talent. She was a Hallow - the greatest of all of the Hallows. She would not be outshone by anybody, yet alone the worst witch. There was something going on, something that she was missing. She would find out, and she would use it to her advantage.

xxx


	19. Waterfall

Confidence and Control

Chapter 19: Waterfall

 **Sorry for a momentous delay - excuses being the following:**

 **Inspiration from this story has come from a very real place that has/had gotten far too real in the past few months so stopped me really wanting to write as both my physical and mental energy were needed elsewhere. Being strong for others to me is all about self-care first and keeping positive and sometimes that can include writing as a kind of catharsis, but sometimes means avoiding delving into the deeper bits and so avoiding writing altogether.**

 **This chapter is a filler, yet I did not want it to be just a _filler_ so struggled with that difficult task.**

xxx

Pippa Pentangle smoothed her golden locks as the mirror hummed with the impending call. "Hello you!" she beamed her wide-set smile. "What's wrong Hiccup?" she asked, smile frozen in place as she saw the clear agitation in her partner's face.

"She... She _transferred_ Pips!" Hecate breathed.

"Transferred?" Pippa repeated, confused. "You are talking about Mildred?"

"Mildred _bloody_ Hubble. Who else? Right out of potions class. Just poof! Gone. Gave me a fright I can tell you!" Hecate shook her head, forehead stretched unbelievably tight.

"How?" Pippa asked, "The magic from her family? The non-verbal spells?" Pippa finished without waiting for Hecate to answer. Hecate would normally appreciate Pippa's quick intelligence, but her mind was too far gone.

"My theory too," Hecate nodded grimly.

"Don't blame yourself," Pippa replied firmly, knowing Hecate's habit of taking responsibility for everything, even the things not in her control.

Hecate groaned, an animalistic sound which seem to come from deep within her throat.

"Ada has said the same," Hecate grumbled, "But I cannot help but feel some accountability."

"Accountability perhaps, but blame no," Pippa raised a brow. "I'm guessing you're going to help her."

"Of course Pippa," Hecate agreed hesitantly.

"Anything for that girl," Pippa stuck out her chin. "We're agreed there, but be careful Hecate - I know the kind of memories this will bring up for you," her sing-song voice faltered.

Hecate nodded gloomily, "I know Pippa - but mind over matter."

"Mind over matter - you've always been good at that," Pippa's smile became a little on the bleak side, "Not exactly the smooth transition back to school that we were hoping for," she grimaced.

"No - not at all," Hecate agreed with a barely hidden sigh which seemed to shake slightly as it left her body. She breathed rather deeply, in a rather practised manner to steady herself, shaking her head as if shaking away thoughts.

"Anyway Pippa, Miss Cackle wanted to invite you to our All Hallow's celebration tomorrow - I understand if you're busy," Hecate's attempts at jovial were hardly convincing at the best of times, but Pippa forced herself to look unconcerned and placid so as not to wind Hecate up further at her failed effort.

"I'm not sure my school will forgive me for missing our own celebrations, but I'll certainly come later," Pippa smiled unwaveringly. "If you can relax bedtime restrictions just for one evening Hiccup? I'd love to see Mildred, cheer her up - she's bound to be worried and probably frightened."

"Witching hour is overated," Hecate rolled her eyes. "But I suppose a little relaxation might be good for the girl, before what is to come..." Hecate's face turned quickly back to pursed lips, much to Pippa's dismay.

xxx

Thunder crashed and lightning blared, announcing arrogantly the beginning of Hallowe'en. Mildred lay in bed, staring at the fine line in her ceiling above her bed and wishing her restless mind would become a restful mind. All that had happened, all that Miss Hardbroom had told her had settled in her mind like extra sticky treacle, refusing to budge and making her feel sick.

Her mum had been ecstatic, proud and fearful all rolled into one, clearly not knowing which was the right reaction. Miss Hardbroom would talk to her later, and no doubt the last reaction would become the dominant one. Another thing for her to worry about...

Mildred felt like a pain. Why her? Now Miss Hardbroom was stuck giving her private lessons when the woman already did too much for her. Mildred couldn't give her anything in return...

Rain was lashing down on the castle, blowing in through the gaps in the shutters from the lack of window panes and small speckles of damp were splattering her face. She got out of bed with a heavy sigh and, placing a blanket over her shoulders, left her room to find somewhere to watch the storm. Anything to keep her mind from racing the way it was... She magicked a candle to float alight in front of her, casting ghostly shadows on the stone walls as she walked.

Her feet were padded with socks and so she almost silently trod on the flagstone floor, the teachers would have finished their rounds hours ago and the other pupils would be fast asleep. Reaching the stone steps, she made her way up to the top of one of her favourite turrets. The view was astounding from up here, the sky lit up with colour like an aurora in the artic as lightning forked through the clouds. She sat on a deep window sill, cold rain dripping over her, staring down into the castle grounds. _If I just disappeared, life would be easier for everyone.._ she thought bitterly, the temptation to throw herself off the edge was there, yet she could not do it, would not do it. _Miss Hardbroom would probably magic me alive just to write lines. 1000 lines of 'Throwing myself off a tower will not end my problems'_ She smiled a small smile at the thought of it, at the constant force of nature that was Hecate Hardbroom.

She needed to get away from the ledge, but the thought of returning to her room made her grimace. She couldn't trust her self to be alone tonight with her mind stuck firmly in fifth gear. Barely caring anymore, she made her way over through the corridor, stopping at Miss Hardbroom's quarters, wanting to knock and wake her but already feeling so selfish. She hesitated, but couldn't bring herself to walk away. She opened the door quietly so as not to wake her, knowing she was already being selfish enough, she was successful as she saw the woman laying flat-backed like a corpse, but deep in slumber on the iron bed at the far end of the room. A rush of comfort washed over her at the sight of the woman she knew would stop her making stupid decisions, who would help her get through what she had to get through. She grabbed a grey blanket folded neatly in a crate and found a comfortable position on the sofa. She muffled a sigh with the blanket and extinguished the candle with a quick spell.

xxx

Hecate stretched her muscles back into tensity, flickering her eyes open to adjust to the bright light of a late autumnal morning. Shuffling alerted her to a strange sight at the other end of the room, a pile of blankets failing to disguise the body of someone. Mildred Hubble. _Mildred_ , Hecate immediately felt panicked. Her well-versed morning routine coming to an abrupt halt.

Grabbing her dressing gown she peered blearily at the girl, who was softly snoring and looked exhausted. She sighed, surprising herself by not having the heart to wake her and went into the kitchen to boil water for her morning coffee. _Why had the girl slept in her room?_

When she returned, she found Mildred awake, staring awkwardly at the ceiling before catching her form-mistress' eye.

"Sorry," Mildred mumbled, her face hot with embarrassment, knowing that Miss Hardbroom hated anything not in her usual routine. "The storm.." she tried, badly, to form an explanation.

Hecate sat on the rigid armchair, face like an unreadable painting. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked simply.

"No," Mildred replied. She felt too exhausted by her complex emotions to want to share that with anybody, even Miss Hardbroom.

"Coffee?" Miss Hardbroom offered briskly.

"Does it come with a potion?" Mildred asked, rubbing the sleep and grogginess from her eyes.

"It will," Hecate said sharply, contours of her face contradicting the rather gentle look set by her unbrushed tousled waves.

xxx

An abundance of floating pumpkins emitted a warm glow, complementary to the pale moonlight. The storm had cleared the sky, showcasing all the twinkling lights in the sky, and all the lights from the castle in clear uninhibited glory. A soup of smells - pine needles, bonfire and pumpkin, all competing against one another.

Mildred should have been enjoying the Hallowe'en celebrations more and that was only making her more tense and frustrated. She had always loved the holiday, it being the witchiest one there was and reminding her of the astonishing day she had finally found her magic, found the reason why she was so different to her mortal friends - the thing that made her unique, yet gave her a sense of belonging. Yet somehow now she felt more misplaced than ever, irrational though the feeling was. She was supposed to be the bright, bubbly girl dazzled by the awe and wonder, but felt like an actress trying to play an unfamiliar part.

She chanted with the other girls around the warming fires and drank pumpkin and butternut squash soup which was dished out from a huge tureen by Mrs Tapioca, suppressing a grimace as Maud watched her.

Miss Hardbroom looked astounding in her full witch's regalia and Mildred, despite her apathy, couldn't stop admiring her. Mildred remembered the first time she had seen Miss Hardbroom dressed like a witch straight out of a fairytale; her long hair left hanging free from her hat for its annual treat. How surprised she had been at the dazzling onyx curtain of smooth hair. She truly was enchanting tonight and she could see why Miss Pentangle, who admired everything beautiful, was so compelled.

Miss Hardbroom kept looking over sharply and so Mildred did her best to act the part of her old happy-go-lucky self. Worryingly, she felt like she was being credible. Maud and Enid were certainly convinced, chatting about the day in excitable tones.

Ethel kept sending snooty looks Mildred's way, glaring at the rest of the girls for not isolating her after what had happened. Mildred could hear her arguing with Felicity, but both of them became immediately hushed when she tried to listen in.

The celebrations went on until the girls were all yawning, being shepherded back to the castle by a cheery and clearly untired Miss Cackle. "Great celebrations girls!" she kept repeating. "But bedtime I think!"

"Walk with me," a firm voice startled her as Miss Hardbroom appeared next to her.

Mildred, startled, eyed her teacher quizzically.

Maud and Enid stared at Miss Hardbroom in surprise. Sighing, Hecate swallowed her rebuke, knowing the girls were just being protective of their friend. She waited, with a raised eyebrow, until the girls had hesitantly scampered off in front before she began the walk back to the castle. Mildred noticed that Ethel was watching them from a few paces in front, clearly wondering why Miss Hardbroom was walking with The Worst Witch.

"You don't have to be constantly keeping watch," Mildred said after a moment, sounding more haughty than she meant.

"I am hardly known for doing things by halves," Hecate replied dryly, no trace of her usual crossness in her voice.

Mildred genuinely smiled at that. "Is Pippa visiting you tonight?" she guessed at Miss Hardbroom's seemingly level temper.

"She's visiting _us_ tonight," Hecate replied. "You were a stipulation."

Mildred beamed her second real smile of the evening, "But it's nearly lights out?"

"An exception - only this once," Hecate replied firmly.

xxx

"Mildred!" Pippa had barely made it from her broomstick through the opened French-style window before enveloping Mildred into her arms. "Oh how I've missed you!"

"I've missed you too Miss Pentangle," Mildred replied sincerely.

"Hecate!" Pippa breathed as she focussed in on her girlfriend, eyes travelling down from the tip of her pointed hat to the tips of her thigh-length hair.

"She looks great, doesn't she?" Mildred quirked a brow.

"Mildred!" Hecate glared at her student's impertinence.

"I always forget how much Hallowe'en suits you," Pippa's eyes were like saucers.

xxx

"So Millie- transferring eh?" Pippa tucked a strand of frizzing hair behind Mildred's ear as they sat together on the sofa. Miss Hardbroom had made herself _busy_ in the adjoining kitchen, but Mildred knew that she was giving Miss Pentangle space to work her magic. Mildred bit her lip softly in reply.

"You know that Hecate will guide you through it all? She taught me and I've been told my transferring is very accomplished," Pippa gave a smug smile that somehow looked endearing, her pert button nose wrinkling.

"She taught you? Mildred asked interestedly.

"Mistress Broomhead taught Hecate herself. I begged and _begged_ Hecate to teach me, until she finally gave in."

"What were you afraid of?" Mildred asked, before realising it might have been a personal question.

Pippa's exuberant face grew clouded. "The masikim showed me all manner of dark things Mildred, as I'm sure it will you - what's important is to remember that it _isn't real_ \- however _real_ it makes it seem."

Pippa traced comforting circles on Mildred's hand, "You will be fine sweetie - Miss Hardbroom won't let any harm come to you," she smiled gently. "She will take over if it all becomes too much, but you're a tough cookie, _stronger_ than you know.."

The brown in Pippa's eyes seemed to act like melting chocolate, smothering Mildred's worries and undoing the tight knot in her stomach. Pippa truly was a witch even when not using magic. She yawned softly.

"Is that the time?" Pippa said aghast, looking at her watch "Now bed I think! Or else I'll be in trouble..."

xxx

Pippa ran her hands through the delicate ends of Hecate's hair. "Honestly breathtaking!" she breathed.

Hecate raised her eyebrows, "Flattery will get you everywhere," she gave Pippa a pert kiss on the lips, breathing in her sweet scent. "Are you staying?"

"I can stay, so long as I've an early start," Pippa winked.

"You were amazing with Mildred Pips," Hecate said graciously. "Thank you for that."

"We're a good team Hecate, and if it weren't for Mildred and her antics with the Spelling Bee we never would have realised it again."

"She's acting strong but I'm still worried for her Pippa, with all of this latest madness with her magic.." Hecate said, eyes full of emotion.

"That's natural Hecate, you care for the girl - you care for her as much as if she were your own child. You've also seen her struggles and you understand them as your own. But Mildred isn't you, she isn't motherless and with teachers that don't give a damn about her wellbeing. Her battles have made her stronger, _you_ have made her stronger."

Hecate felt her walls crumble in at Pippa's words. She had chosen not to trouble herself so much over the pastoral side of teaching, preferring to excel in academia and telling herself that was what her pupils needed from her. Now those pushed aside feelings felt like a waterfall catching momentum. She was changing before her own eyes and she wasn't sure she was so comfortable with the stranger she was left with...

xxx


	20. Green-eyed Monster

Confidence and Control

Chapter 20:

Green-eyed Monster

xxx

The aftermath of Hallowe'en would feel to most like an outward breath - everything returning to its ordinary state as Jack O'lanterns were vanished, their flickering lights and strange smelling insides no longer necessary. A break for a couple of months before the beginning of the run up to Yule. To Mildred however, she felt like she was asphyxiating from fear and anticipation, constantly on edge, both from not knowing if, or indeed when, she would be transferring again, and when Miss Hardbroom planned to help her to do anything about it: Miss Hardbroom had been strangely silent about transferring lessons, and this didn't help Mildred's nervous energy or the feeling that she was living in limbo, waiting anxiously to see what would happen next.

Instead Hecate had devoted her time to Mildred's potion knowledge, quizzing her each night and setting her extra homework tasks which she would oversee in her quarters either before or after dinner. Any protestations Mildred had were met with an unnerving and icy glare which one night was followed with a spell that meant that Mildred could not physically turn her head from the textbook she had been handed. She had wept frustrated tears, called Hecate all manner of names in her head and felt her fingertips sparking with fury, before admitting defeat and reading a rather lengthy explanation of knotgrasses.

When Mildred had bravely asked just when her transferring lessons would begin, her infuriating form-mistress had simply replied, "When you are ready," which was hardly the response she wanted to hear, but Mildred swallowed her frustrated retorts at the crossed arms and rigid posture, knowing she would get nowhere.

Instead she had audibly huffed and flounced out of the potions' lab. Hecate resisted all urges to summon the girl back and give her a thorough dressing down, and instead sat at her desk and rubbed her temples. Dealing with Mildred's increasingly unpredictable moods, and feeling constantly out of her depth was tiring her to say the least.

Once again she had felt that strange tug of uncertainty pass through the once strong barrier to her thoughts, _Was she really best equipped for this?_ Surely someone more approachable, personable and _cheerful?_ Someone like Pippa... Hecate had snuck a glance at them before, huddled together cosy on her sofa with Pippa's soft hands delicately stroking through the knots in Mildred's hair and had felt a pang of _jealousy._ How natural the two of them had looked! Yet every maternal action Hecate gave to the girl was wrought with hesitation and uncertainty.

The whole transference thing was tricky business, and she was dreading exposing Mildred to the masikim when the girl was not fully out of the danger-zone. However Hecate knew deep-down that she was also using it selfishly to put off the Godmother question. She couldn't put off both forever, and Hecate knew she was being unfair to make Mildred doubt her strength, when it was really her own she was questioning.

xxx

Mildred was fed up with feeling like a goldfish in a bowl, eyes peering at her either interestedly or concernedly as she walked around to lessons, as if wanting desperately to see the moment she would _poof_ again.

Miss Hardbroom's eyes were the worst, for Mildred could rarely actually catch her looking, yet felt the dark brown gaze pin-pricking her every move, sensed her energy and the crackle of her magic every time she misstepped over her undone shoelaces. Indeed, Mildred had go so far as to leave her laces undone on purpose just to try and catch Miss Hardbroom in the action. She had been unsuccessful.

Ethel's staring was far more pronounced, something dangerous glittering beneath the icy grey irises. She had been watching Mildred's every move and action with analytical fascination; like a predator poised to strike.

xxx

Miss Cackle addressed her students with a flicker of fond bemusement at their rapt attention, "It is of crucial importance that we don't judge those that _cannot_ perform spells non-verbally - for they may still have _strong_ powers," she finished, eying Ethel Hallow firmly, finding it strange that she had stood next to Mildred Hubble, rather than Felicity.

Ethel smiled patronisingly at the girls around her, her gaze lingering sideways on Mildred who was determined not to look her way. No Hallow had ever not managed non-verbal incantations and Ethel was sure to not be the first with her almost gifted grasp on magic, the group was in no doubt about that.

"Never mind Hubble-Bubble, I'm sure it won't make sure any _less_ of a witch than you already are..." she simpered and smirked.

Miss Cackle, an experience teacher and headteacher with many years of experience of girls' cruelty, heard the exchange, but in her wisdom decided not to call Ethel out on her arrogant ways. Instead she smiled briskly at Mildred, "Mildred, dear come here," she gestured invitingly with one arm.

Mildred furrowed her brow in confusion but followed Miss Cackle's lead.

"Miss Hardbroom has done nothing but sing your praises about your mastery of non-verbal incanting," Miss Cackle watched with satisfaction the effect every word had on Ethel's smug face, which was now gawping in confusion.

"I wondered if you could show us a little something?" Miss Cackle continued.

"Me?.." Mildred squeaked, unprepared and desperate to keep her head down since the transference episode. "I... uh.."

"A simple dimming spell perhaps?" Miss Cackle prompted benevolently.

Mildred bit her lip, succumbing to the inevitable. She gestured with her hands, feeling her magic fizzle through to her fingers, allowing the lights to momentarily dip and then reignite.

"Cool!" Enid grinned.

"Excellent! Quite excellent Mildred," Miss Cackle sang, as Mildred returned to the group who were staring at her in amazement. Ethel managing to look as if a bee had stung her insides.

"It'll take some time for some of you to get to that standard," Miss Cackle told them all, but firmed her gaze upon Ethel's own. "Now I will take you one at a time throughout the afternoon and see what we can do. Mildred you are of course exempt. Miss Hardbroom has sent firm instructions that you are to go to the library, she has left a note there of some of the pages she would like you to revise." Miss Cackle smiled again proudly at the girl.

Mildred didn't need to be told twice, she scarpered the room as quickly as she could.

xxx

Mildred wondered if she would be seeing Miss Hardbroom at the library, wanting someone to vent to about what had just happened. Instead she found the room largely and frustratingly empty. _She must be teaching,_ Mildred thought with a twinge of disappointment. She went to the librarian and received Hecate's note, sighing at the huge amount of work which had been assigned. She located the first volume and make herself as comfortable as she could on one of the scattered wooden desks.

Her brain tried and failed to make sense of what she was reading, to try and memorise ingredient properties and uses. She couldn't get over Ethel's shocked yet sinister face, knowing that the girl would already be plotting a way of getting her into trouble...

Twice she felt Miss Hardbroom's magic, and knew that the woman was once again checking up on her, invisible, as was her way. Mildred was tempted to acknowledge her, but knew then that she would be giving away how good she had got at feeling Hecate's aura, so instead she tried to buckle down to her studies, hoping that she would learn something worthy of anything but disdain.

xxx

"How far will you go for my attention?" Hecate finally asked wonderingly and exasperated, eyebrow pointed at Mildred's boots, which were not only fully unlaced but also completely unbuckled, and her hair which had been left as a wild, frizzing mop around her head.

"It's not ' _for your attention,'"_ Mildred muttered churlishly.

Hecate served up the spinach cannelloni with pursed lips, her pupil's own lips mirroring hers. She sighed inwardly and began to eat, finding silence uncomfortable for once. She observed Mildred stabbing away at the bits of pasta and grimaced. "You're angry with me," she ascertained, once the plates had been magicked away and an even heavier silence had taken over.

Mildred didn't deny Hecate's statement, her dark eyes had darkened further and she had begun picking at her nails.

"Speak your mind child," Hecate permitted, elegant fingers gesturing for Mildred to begin.

"I'm not a _child_ ," Mildred muttered.

"Then stop acting like an exceedingly _childish_ one," Hecate retorted, automatically slipping back into the role she was so used to playing, "Less of that girl or my patience will wear thin."

Mildred stared at her form-mistress in white-hot fury at her words. "Mine has already _worn thin_!" Mildred almost shouted, already at the end of her tether. "It's been over a week Miss Hardbroom - You said you would teach me transference and that I could handle the Masikim and then you won't let me try! Why not?! Can't you see how much I need to control this!?" she added desperately and gestured to the ends of her fingers which were sparking once again dangerously in response to her anger. "One minute you're telling me how strong I am.. the next you're telling me I'm not ready to deal with this? Like I have a _choice_!"

Hecate watched the girl in horrified fascination, startled at how her fingertips were positively glowing and yet no unintended spell had been cast her way despite the girl's clearly intense anger and resentment towards her. She wanted to reach out, to comfort, to put out the sparks that that should not have been coming from a fourteen-year-old girl, but something was stopping her. _Coward_ she seethed inwardly at herself.

"What are you so afraid of?" Mildred demanded of her teacher.

"I..." Hecate faltered. For the second time that week, Hecate placed her hand to her temples. Mildred waited a moment, her face contorted with ever-increasing anger at Miss Hardbroom's silence and inaction, before a spark pushed from her finger and jolted a photo-frame from the other side of Hecate's work desk, dropping to the floor with an clunking smash. Mildred gazed, horrified for a moment, before she ran from the room, tears flowing freely down her reddened face.

xxx

Hecate tuned into her locator spell for a couple of minutes before she felt Mildred growing to a stand-still. She waited a further precisely timed two minutes (which she watched diligently tick away on the Victorian style clock on her mantle) before transferring, finding the girl slumped on the open window of one of the many turrets. The girl was tear-stained and shivering, and so Hecate wordlessly summoned her one of her warmest blankets and a black silk handkerchief, which she draped on and pressed to Mildred in turn as she dared to join the girl at the battlements.

"I'll replace it," Mildred said softly.

"A broken frame is hardly worth fussing over," Hecate murmured, "the picture inside remains intact."

"You didn't deserve that..." Mildred mumbled. Her anger had dissipated and left her feeling a well of guilt in the pit of her stomach. She felt such raw yet intense affection for this woman, who had acted as a strange kind surrogate mother the past few years, and had placed such a vested interest in Mildred's well-being, and yet she had screamed and shouted at her _again._

"I most definitely did," Hecate mused, forcing herself to find Mildred's hand and finding the sensation of holding it more comfortable than she thought. Mildred's eyes widened, but Miss Hardbroom offered up no more explanation.

The two witches sat side-by-side, staring up at the night's sky as their breaths both escaped in condensed cloud, both finding the comfort of the stars once again.

"Stars, hide your fires; Let not light see my black and deep desires," Hecate quoted.

"Shakespeare?" Mildred guessed.

"Macbeth," Hecate confirmed.

The two sat in silence, unspoken conversations passing between them.

"I finished Little Women," Mildred eventually told her in a small voice.

"Thoughts?" Hecate prompted.

"Beth shouldn't have died, I hated Amy at first, Meg tried too hard to be perfect, but was perfect when she didn't try and Jo was far too headstrong - I'm guessing she's the one who's like me?" Mildred gave a small grin.

"Quite," Hecate smirked, amused.

"I don't mean to be.. I just can't seem to hold my thoughts in," Mildred laughed.

"Especially around me it seems..." Hecate mused.

"I'm making up for all of those years I was afraid of you Miss Hardbroom," Mildred said cheekily, quirking her brow with her eyes glinting.

" _Was?"_ Hecate glared menacingly. "What do you mean _was?"_

"Well everytime you act scary, I just remind myself of you with your hair down - both physically and metaphorically.." Mildred grinned in acknowledgement of the long word, "around Pippa..."

"That's Miss Pentangle to you," Hecate replied coolly. "I must try harder then.." she mused with an affectionate glare towards her charge. "At least I know I won't be faced with viewing myself from your point of view with the masikim. Never good to see yourself from another's view, either flatters or causes some serious ego problems," she continued dryly.

Mildred laughed at the thought of vanity from her very practical form-mistress. "I truly am sorry," Mildred repeated. "I need to trust you... After everything, I do trust you Miss Hardbroom. I just lost it a bit..."

"You will not be the first, nor the last teenager to shout at me Mildred Hubble, perils of the job - however you might just be the very first and definitely last to escape without a detention."

"Really?" Mildred raised a brow at Miss Hardbroom's relenting.

"Just don't make it too much of a habit," Hecate's eyes glinted. "Or you'll be writing lines until your hands bleed.."

Mildred nodded, believing her threat.

"Tomorrow," Hecate told Mildred firmly.

"Really?" Mildred's eyes widened.

"Really," Hecate repeated. "You have always been ready Mildred Hubble, it is perhaps _me_ that needs to learn from _your_ strength."

xxx

Ethel had been watching Mildred Hubble. Her darting eyes following her arch-nemesis whenever she could.

Something strange had happened. Something she didn't quite understand. Miss Hardbroom had always made no secret of her disdain for the non-magically born witch, always belittled and criticised the girl out of an obvious frustration for her lack of rigour and careless ways. Always shown approval to Ethel with her hallowed name and clear academic excellence. Something had changed... how and why Ethel wasn't so sure. But Miss Hardbroom's tiny smiles were no longer reserved for her, they were dished out to Hubble as she correctly brewed potion after potion.

 _"Miss Hardbroom has done nothing but sing your praises about your mastery of non-verbal incanting."_

How had the girl learnt? Who had taught her? If it _was_ Miss Hardbroom (which her suspicions told her it was..) then _why?_ Why not _her?_ Miss Cackle had managed to teach her well enough - for she was a _Hallow_ of course - but everyone knew that Miss Hardbroom was the true power in the school. She - Ethel Hallow - would surely make a much more obvious protégée than Mildred Hubble.

xxx

"Tonight," Hecate told Mildred as she made her way out of the potion's lab. "6pm sharp," she added, "The classroom in the south tower."

Ethel's ears pricked up with interest. Just what would Miss Hardbroom want with Mildred in the south tower? As far as she knew, every detention Miss Hardbroom had ever delivered had been in the potion's lab, and she wasn't even aware that Mildred had detention.

Perhaps it had something to do with Mildred's sudden mastery of non-verbal spells. Was Miss Hardbroom giving her some kind of private lesson tonight? _Why her!_ Ethel wanted to wail.

An idea formed in Ethel's mind - and she already had the potion ready and waiting to put her plan into action...

xxx

Hecate felt nervous and that made her feel even more anxious, knowing that Mildred would feel at least double what she was feeling.

She busied herself with setting aside the tables and chairs in the rarely used classroom, wishing that she had asked Pippa to come, but also knowing deep-down that this was something that she and Mildred would have to journey through together, that this somehow was the battle that they needed to fight.

She was curious too, what exactly where Mildred's greatest fears? What were the complexities of the deepest parts of her brain and soul?

She shuddered at a masikim induced memory of one of her own.. Of the vision of her mother - far too sharp for her to be a true memory, telling her that she was not good enough to be a witch of the Hardbroom name, not jovial enough to be a good daughter, not beautiful enough to be loved... The vision who turned into a more golden version of Pippa and repeated the words, stabbing at her heart.

"It's not real..." she spoke aloud.

"Did you say something Miss Hardbroom?" Mildred asked rather serenely from the doorway.

"No.." she said in sharp but faltered tones. Hecate gathered her wits about her, slipping into her teacher persona with perceived ease, gesturing for the girl to sit down which she did with a rather upright posture.

"Now Mildred, like I've explained before. The masikim method used your flight or fight response to our advantage. He will attempt to root you to the spot and compel you. Your instinctual magical response will hopefully be to transfer away. I will supervise of course.. If it gets too much you must alert me... Do you understand?" she questioned firmly.

Mildred looked like she had questions, but seemingly swallowed them as she nodded rather nonchalently.

"Now.." Hecate said briskly. "I will summon him..."

 _"Let all my fears apparent be..._

 _Let the masikim stand before me..."_

Hecate made a complex motion with her hand, standing aside to Mildred before moving carefully into the shadows. She focussed all of her energy onto Mildred, and felt herself delving into the girl's conscience.

xxx

The real Mildred Hubble groaned an animalistic sound in frustration. Her door wasn't budging whatever spell she tried using. Hecate would be fuming, she bit her lip with worry. She had convinced her teacher how importance this was to her, how seriously she was going to take it, all to be stopped by a locked door. Mildred didn't understand.

Her mind went to Ethel Hallow and the looks of venom the girl had been shooting her, but even that didn't make sense. Ethel couldn't have possibly known what she was late for. Couldn't know just how much was at stake...

 _"Let me out!"_ She screamed in frustration.

xxx


	21. The Masikim

**I always zone out at any action in films/books so found this hard to write!**

Confidence and Control

Chapter 21

The Masikim

It took merely seconds for Hecate to realise that the girl standing in the centre of the room facing the masikim was not Mildred Hubble. The girl-in-question's brain felt more precise, more organised, with a gleam that hid an almost tightly wound feeling as if the girl had been trying for a long period of time to betray nothing of her real self. An ambitious perfectionist. _Ethel Hallow_.

Hecate stood open-mouthed in terror as the masikim appeared; a shadowy creature engulfed in a black cloak. He stood before the girl as slowly he lowered his hood..

Ethel screamed, a haunted sound that pierced the room. She stood trance-like as the creature approached, unable to move and paralysed with both fear and magic. Her eyes lost focus as the masikim's horrible face came into view, his lined face a grey-white and his eyes demonically red.

She found herself lost in a sequence of horror with a mixture of her own hideous memories and those that she could only dream up in nightmares that would usually have awoken her screaming:

She was a small girl, sitting alone and completely ignored as her parents made a fuss of the beautiful older sister, telling her she was useless, not worthy of her family legacy. Of nights without sleep, re-reading textbooks only to find that the test was not on anything that she had studied, of being bottom in the class and seeing the cold looks on her parents' faces. Of Esme and Sybil in turn, telling her how much they hated her... Of her classmates repeating their words... Even Felicity...

xxx

"This isn't funny Ethel!" Mildred yelled, hitting the door with all of her might. She slumped up against it sobbing with tears of fury. If only she could remember the unlocking spell.. _She should know it!_ She thought with real frustration, Miss Hardbroom would expect her to know it and would no doubt not allow her predicament to be an excuse. She would be fuming, and no doubt would appear any moment with crossed arms and a severe expression, with a strict punishment devised and dished out coldly with only her eyes betraying her disappointment.

 _Why do I always let her down?_

"Mildred?" A voice appeared the other side of the door. _Felicity Foxglove._

"Felicity?!" Mildred shouted, "Ethel..." She started, before realising with a pang that Felicity was likely in on the plan as Ethel's chosen sidekick. "I'm well and truly stuck in here, there's no need to keep guard.." She added bitterly.

"Wait - she's locked you in?" Felicity's voice shot through. The high pitched tone at the end showing authenticity that it was a genuine question.

"You didn't know?!" Mildred replied disbelievingly.

"I knew she was up to _something_..." Felicity muttered. "Bloody Ethel! I don't know what her plan is though Mildred. I don't want any part of it, but you will promise not to tell her that I've released you?"

"I promise Felicity. _Quickly_ though please - I'm going to be in so much trouble.." Mildred added urgently.

"Okay - hold on!"

Mildred heard the door click and pushed it open with more force than necessary. She shot through the door, adding a rather breathless, "Thanks Flick," as she ran past her rather bemused classmate.

xxx

Hecate wasted no more time. Faster than she ever knew she could move, she pushed the false Mildred to the floor, out of the deity's glare.

Ethel came to almost immediately, shivering and whimpering helplessly as she watched the creature now turn its attention and descend on her form-mistress...

xx

She made it, panting and with a bit of sweat on the back of her neck, at the classroom a few minutes later. Mildred pushed open the creaky door and stepped inside, breathing deeply to compose herself with Miss Hardbroom's disappointed face in mind.

"Please don't be too mad..." she started, but then abruptly as her horrified brain tried to make sense of what she was seeing. _She_ was on the floor, _herself_ , with her hair frizzing and uniform screwed. " _What?"_ She squinted, before seeing a sight that stopped any thoughts in their tracks. Miss Hardbroom. Face blank and eyes rolling as ghostly black shape loomed over her. _Miss Hardbroom!_

Without really knowing what she was doing, she had grabbed at her teacher, perhaps intending to pull her to safety. Yet something strange happened when she touched her even colder-than-usual hands... Vibrations shot through her muscles and she suddenly found herself out cold, plummeting into a brain that was not her own. Thoughts that weren't her own swirled around her mind...

At first there was Pippa, her smile as breathtaking as it always was - but then suddenly gone as she caught her eye. "I could never love you Hecate... Look at you!" She laughed coldly, "You've been fooling yourself.. You're just a _silly fool_ Hecate Hardbroom and it's all been a _pretence_." She felt the weight of the words hit her like blows to the stomach.

Then Miss Cackle, sitting at her desk, her face strangely stern as her glasses sat on top of her nose. "They all hate you. _Every single pupil hates you._ They call you HB behind your back - _Hard Bitch_ \- they mean it too..."

She was then confronted with another version of herself, her hair darker and glossy and her freckles absent, darker eyes matching her hair. "You actually think that I could _want you?_ \- I'd rather have anyone as my Godmother than you! Mum was clearly _joking_... Seeing if a lonely old woman would latch on to some weird _fantasy_ of sharing her daughter.." The dark-eyed Mildred leered and shook her head. "I'm better off without you.. I cannot wait to graduate and _never see you again."_

"No," the real Mildred tried to scream, "Wake up Miss Hardbroom! You need to transfer away! Why are you not transferring?! _Please_ Miss Hardbroom!"

"You think you saved me? It was _you_ that made me like this in the first place - you that couldn't stop bullying me, that got some kind of sick thrill out of making me feel worthless..."

She felt her magic tug uncontrollably all over her body, mixed with her emotions. _You need to discipline your magic Mildred!_ She felt Miss Hardbroom's voice telling her, real or memory she wasn't certain. _Feel it through your body, concentrate on where you want to be._ _You're strong enough - I know you are._

Mildred felt the flecks vibrate through her as she gripped on even more tightly to Miss Hardbroom's hand. Concentrating harder than she had ever focused before, she felt the strange tingle that she had felt that afternoon in potion's class. A moment later she felt herself travelling through blackness, before she ended up on the other side of the room, her form-mistress's hand still attached to hers.

The last thing she remembered was Miss Hardbroom's slight quirk of a grin, a knowing-look as if she had been proven right and was rather smug, before the blackness took her for a second time...

xxx


	22. The Godmother Question

****The feels!****

Confidence and Control: Chapter 22

The Godmother Question

Mildred turned in her bed to face the cold-stone wall, before realising it didn't exist. She felt wobbly, everything aching painfully.

"Oh good, you're awake," Miss Hardbroom said simply.

She was on the plump sofa in Hecate's quarters, wrapped too tightly in far too many blankets. Miss Hardboom was sitting on the arm-chair, any hints of dishevelment long gone as she drank a tea with her pinky outstretched.

Mildred tried to sit up, finding it more difficult than she thought, her head groggy and feeling like cotton-wool. "Urghh," she groaned and rubbed at her eyes.

Hecate came back with the far-too memorable dandelion tasting potion, which she dished out onto a spoon and pushed quickly into Mildred's mouth. Mildred swallowed with her usual grimace, but felt the annoyingly pleasant effects of the potion almost immediately.

"Is it... gone?" Mildred eventually got out.

"The masikim?" Hecate raised a brow, "Yes. If you hadn't fainted, you would have seen for yourself. I might have even allowed you to banish it," Hecate's words felt like a accusation for a moment, before a small jesting smile appeared on her face.

"But I _ _managed__ it?" Mildred asked in a small voice. Hecate had to suppress the urge to both shout and hug the girl in turn for her extraordinarily humble attitude.

"You controlled a transfer. Yes. You even had __baggage__."

Mildred smiled at that, but then a thousand thoughts clouded her tired mind.

Miss Hardbroom sucked at her dark lips," In answer to your unspoken questions Mildred - no you will not need to face him again. Once you have experienced it once, muscle memory will allow you to transfer again at will... _ _Not now__!" she warned, "You need __rest__."

It was strange, now that she thought of it - just how calm she felt - how calm her magic felt. Mildred pondered for a moment, "So we won't really know what I am afraid of..." She queried.

"I am relieved Mildred. It certainly felt like a betrayal of my role to be subjecting you to such things," Hecate's stare became piercing for a moment before they lost all power and became wide for moment before she looked down uncomfortably and starting wiping invisible dust from her dress, "I am glad __my fears__ sufficed..."

"Why didn't you transfer away?" Mildred asked curiously, knowing her form-mistress could have easily have got away from the masikim without needing her.

"And not let _ _you__ have the chance?" Hecate said self-righteously. "It was hardly __planned__ , but in the end it worked out better. Rather _ _me__ face _ _my__ own fears than subject you to yours."

Mildred played with her own hands awkwardly, feeling like Miss Hardbroom had made it all sound too simple, making it seem like it was an okay that it had happened, when it really didn't sit right with her. Miss Hardbroom was doing her best to look nonchalant, and Mildred resigned to the fact that it was never going to be an argument she would win.

"Is Ethel ok?" She finally asked levelly.

"For now," Miss Hardbroom gritted her teeth formidably. "I got the whole story. Cloning potion and a simple door lock spell. She is paying the price, although she certainly punished herself with some pretty hard masikim-induced thoughts," she said darkly.

Mildred nodded, wonderingly. Her brain hurt trying to fuse together thoughts of what on earth Ethel Hallow could be afraid of.

" _ _Sleep__ Mildred," Hecate suddenly commanded softly, seeing the girls eyes flitter. "We have plenty of time for more discussion later."

Mildred nodded, feeling like she could cry and not really sure why. She closed her eyes tightly, but felt Miss Hardbroom shifting uncertainly and she wished she had some energy, any amount of energy left to grasp the woman and comfort her after seeing first-hand her deepest fears played out.

Eyes still shut she tried her best to put her thoughts into words.

"Miss Hardbroom I'm really sorry you had to go through that for me... It's not fair. You're always doing so much for me..." She could hear Miss Hardbroom open her mouth to protest but continued bravely:

" I.. I.. I wish you had told me about my mum asking you to be my Godmother. I would __never__ say no..I'd __love__ you to be... That's if you __want__ me still..." She felt her eyeballs squeeze as she waited with bated breath for any response.

When it came it was in a rather small voice that she would never associate with the great Hecate Hardbroom. " _ _Of course..."__ She coughed and found her abrupt tone again, "- you __silly girl__ \- who could not want __you__?"

Hot tears began to release through Mildred's tightly closed eyes, pooling on her cheeks as she blinked them open. This truly amazing woman, her teacher, mentor, role-model, __wanted__ her as much as she __needed__ her. Mildred stretched her hand in the direction of her and felt a cold bony fingers attached to a hand recently warmed by tea entwine itself around it.

" _ _You,__ Mildred Hubble, make me prouder everyday," Hecate's eyes warmed to the colour of cocoa as she shook her head disbelievingly.

"Now sleep - I will __not__ tell you again!" With a smile on her face, Mildred finally succumbed to sleep.

xxx

Hecate watched the girl sleep for longer than she would ever dare to admit, even to herself.

She was a dragon, fiercely protecting her treasure.

xxx


	23. Ethel

Confidence and Control

Chapter 23: Ethel

"I would suggest two parts water to one part solution Ethel. I want to be able to see my face in the tiles when you are done." Hecate handed the girl a toothbrush, enjoying the scowl the girl tried to hide from her. "I have magicked it so that it will alert me if _any_ spells are cast," she added pointedly.

"Yes Miss Hardbroom," Ethel mumbled.

Hecate stalked to her desk, satisfied. She grabbed a pile of marking from her desk and began the process of feedback.

A tiny sniffle made her pause momentarily. Covertly glancing up she could make out a tiny shimmer on Ethel Hallow's cheekbone as she scrubbed away at the laboratory floor.

Was the girl _crying?_

Hecate furrowed her brow, in all the time that she had taught the middle Hallow girl, she had never seen an ounce of any genuine emotion other than jealousy and smugness.

She tried to concentrate again on the paper in front of her, but her skimming of the looped handwriting did not convert into comprehension in her brain. She had seen children cry before, so often been the cause of it and had always felt a rather sadistic sense of satisfaction knowing that the message she had sent had been fully received.

 _She deserves to cry._

Yet, no matter how hard Hecate tried to ignore the girl, something kept pulling her back into her attention.

She sighed inwardly. Had she gone _soft?_ She rubbed her temples. Pippa would be loving this. She snapped her fingers and found herself standing over the Hallow child, who looked up at the foreboding shadow of her form-mistress with crossed arms rather fearfully and hastily shook off the now multiple tears on her face.

Miss Hardbroom offered her hand to the girl, whose face became a picture of disbelief. She allowed herself to be pulled up, before Hecate guided her into one of the nearest wooden stools. She seated herself at the one next to her, throat constricting in trepidation - she had no idea what she was about to say. She took a moment before she began, glad that her voice sounded both firm and businesslike:

"I am not going to sit her and ask you why you behaved the way you did, Ethel. You know what you acted out of, we both know," she said firmly feeling the girl tremble slightly. "But what I will tell you is from my experience - there is _another_ way."

"Being competitive, ambitious and jealous by nature is difficult. You need to succeed, you desire to succeed. You also have the huge pressure from your family-name and your sister's talents. Yet _you_ are stopping yourself from flourishing by not allowing others to flourish around you - and by not learning from those who you _secretly desire_ to be like," she gave her a knowing look- daring her the argue. "I am telling you now Ethel Hallow - and I do not make it a habit to repeat myself - you could learn just as much from Mildred Hubble as she could from you. If you would let yourself drop a silly schoolgirl's feud."

Ethel looked at her, her face trying but failing to be impassive and instead showing a rather vulnerable-looking young girl with puffy eyes, a tear-stained face and down-turned lips.

"We only become great by allowing others to bring the best out of us."

Ethel continued to stare wide-eyed, but gave a small involuntary nod at Miss Hardbroom's words.

"I will not go easy on you Ethel, nor will I ever go easy on Mildred. When I see potential I will always have high expectations," Hecate finished, squeezing the girl's numb hands in a way which was simultaneously comforting and harsh. She got to her feet, and held out the toothbrush for the girl, who once again settled to her task, but risked furtive glances at her teacher now sitting at the teacher's desk, wondering if she had been slipped some kind of potion.

xxx


	24. Family

Confidence and Control

Chapter 24: Family

"Mum!" Mildred exclaimed in surprise as she opened her eyes the next morning, seeing her mother sitting in Miss Hardbroom's usual armchair.

"Heys Mils," Julie Hubble grinned the signature Hubble smile.

"What are you-?"

"Hecate thought you might need some mum-love," Julie answered before she finished.

 _Hecate?_ Mildred pondered, since when was her mum in the tiny minority that called Miss Hardbroom _that_?

"Where is she?" Mildred queried.

"Pippa and I arrived almost simultaneously," Julie said with a wry smile. "She said she needed her down in the potion's lab to help with some concoction or another, no doubt they're bickering contentedly over a steamy cauldron," Julie chortled.

"Passionately squeezing beetle's eyes.." Mildred continued.

"Batting their lashes over bats' wings," Julie laughed again, her giggles reverberating around the stone room.

Still laughing heartily, Julie went into Miss Hardbroom's kitchen. Before too long she could hear the scraping of bread and the smell of mouth-watering toast.

"Blackberry jam," Julie told her daughter as she passed her the plate of thickly-spread jammy toast, sitting next to her on the sofa now the girl was upright. "Hecate told me to warn you she would be checking you've eaten," Julie bit her lip out of concern, strictness never really falling easily from her.

Thankfully Mildred nodded, biting into the substantially cut fresh-tasting loaf. "She certainly loves her blackberries," she replied, thinking privately how much she seemed to be growing to love them too.

"Why didn't you tell me you'd asked Miss Hardbroom to be my Godmother?" Mildred asked wonderingly once the toast had nearly gone.

"Oh you're not _mad_ are you sweetheart?" Julie questioned, "It just seemed to be something the _two of you_ needed to talk about in private - I didn't want you agreeing to it just because you thought it was my idea..." Julie trailed off.

"Course not mum, it really was a lovely idea, but you really don't mind sharing me like this?" Mildred asked.

Julie began playing with her daughter's hair, "As much as I'd love to keep you all to myself forever Millie, I could not ever deny you the people that get the best out of you and Miss Hardbroom can give you the things I can't - it's funny really, turns out you didn't need a _father_ but a _witch_ instead!"

"Mum!" Mildred laughed. "You're terrible!"

Julie gave her a squeeze, "In all seriousness love - you really are special and you need Hecate to bring out all of that power. You'll grow to be an amazing woman Millie."

Mildred felt emotion prick at her eyes, "How could I not be? When I'm surrounded by such amazing role-models," Mildred nuzzled against her mum's sleeve.

xxx

"So what you're saying is Hecate, you actually felt sorry for Ethel?" Pippa wrinkled her nose disbelievingly.

"Ughhh," Hecate groaned. "Pass me the spider's legs will you?"

Pippa went to grab the glass jar from the shelf and gave it to her, enjoying the precision that Hecate used with a pair of tweezers to pluck out the exact amount of legs needed.

"I did," Hecate bit her lip, "I can't deny it Pippa."

"She doesn't deserve any sympathy, after impersonating Mildred - she really did bring it on herself," Pippa said oddly harshly.

"Part of me wanted to expel her on the spot, that's certainly true. But the tears were certainly very _genuine_ ," Hecate pulled a face.

"About time really," Pippa nodded.

"It's hard for you to understand Pip, you're just so wondrously _good_ all the time - rarely a bad thought for anyone. She just needs to learn," Hecate defended, " _Like I did_ ," she continued in a small voice.

Pippa gazed at her for a moment, seeing self-doubt and insecurity flash for a moment in her partner's dark eyes. "You Hecate Hardbroom are the most _amazing_ woman."

"Only because I have the _amazing_ you," Hecate gave a wry smile, before Pippa kissed her on her bottom lip, dark lipstick transferring onto her own perfect pink.

xxx

Hecate poured a deep burgundy wine from the bottle into the wine glasses in front of her, somehow managing to get even glasses without really looking.

"A toast," Julie raised her glass, "To Mildred and her newfound powers - and to her poor form-mistress who now has to deal with a rather powerful and mischievous teen."

Mildred laughed at the slight look of horror on her teacher's face and Pippa giggled merrily, sloshing the wine about in her glass, before raising her own glass:

"To family, in whatever form they take!" she sang, catching Hecate's eye.

Mildred raised her own alcohol-free glass, "To Miss Hardbroom."

Hecate acted rather reluctant to raise her own, "To you Mildred Hubble - long may you ruin my peace," she eyed the girl rather warmly.

xxx


	25. Walking is Good for the Soul

Confidence and Control

Chapter 25: Walking is Good for the Soul

With Mildred up and mostly out of bed but still not fully physically back to full capacity, Hecate had loaded on the work and banned her from even thinking about transferring until she said so. Mildred didn't mind too much though, as much of the textbooks handed to her were to do with the theoretical side of transferring, teaching her the constraints but also the possibilities of her new power. It made getting through her potions and spell's coursework harder though, knowing she had more interesting reading sitting there under her papers, but Hecate had been meticulously checking that all work was completed and Mildred felt a strong desire to please her.

Hecate seemed in good spirits and had even allowed Maud and Enid to bring up sandwiches so that the girls could catch up on the events with the masikim (Enid had said 'cool' about one hundred times), before she had ushered them out with folded arm after a couple of hours.

Hecate had then transferred them both to her office as she gave Mildred a textbook containing door-unlocking spells, making her stand at the end of her desk and recite the different words of the spells and the types of doors they would work on until she could no longer stand it. She had glared and pouted as the potions' mistress sat down in her chair watching the girl earnestly, muttered that she was missing valuable time catching up with her friends, complained of tiredness, even of having homework to complete, but Hecate simply snorted at the last comment and did not relent until she had felt clear Mildred had indeed mastered the spells.

xxx

"Grab your coat," Hecate suddenly appeared early a couple of mornings later, which was to be her last day off to recover. Mildred eyed her wonderingly for a moment, hesitating about leaving the comfort and warmth of her bed in a draughty room.

Hecate sighed impatiently, turned over her hand, forcing the cover to fly off the girl. Another flick caused the mattress to tumble to girl onto the floor. Mildred glared at her with all the force she could muster as she sat shivering from the cold flagstones.

With a sadistic grin on her face, Hecate moved her hand over the girl's head, causing a warm sensation which pulled at Mildred's hair into a far-too-neat side plait and changed her pyjamas into a warm jumper and her favourite jeans, her boots as tightly laced as possible.

"Could you teach me that?" Mildred raised her brow at the transformation.

"No," Hecate replied simply.

"Why not? I'd never be late again!"

"I have no doubt Mildred that you would indeed _still_ manage to be late, seeing it as an extra opportunity to remain in bed for longer," Hecate replied dryly.

Hecate then turned to leave with the incredible confidence of someone whose orders were always followed. Mildred sighed before grabbing her coat.

"Where are we going?" she questioned, almost skidding on the staircase to keep up with the woman's brisk pace as she tried her best to ruffle out some strands of the tight plait.

"Out," she said simply, enjoying the exasperated look Mildred gave her at her ambiguous answer.

" _Helpful_ ," the teenager quipped.

They reached the arched doorway that led the castle into the grounds. Hecate used the biggest key from the chain at her belt to open the door, stepping aside to let Mildred out. She began walking, her feet crunching on the icy ground as she did. Mildred hastened her pace rather bemused.

They walked silently but companionly, the winter's morning sun hitting their pale faces as cold air tickled any exposed skin. Reaching the end of the school fields, they continued on the path through the heavily wooded trees, oaks jutting out limbs like arthritic fingers and dappled light poking through the undressed canopy in a multitude of colours.

Hecate slowed for a moment when they reached a clearing of some kind, her face softened by the natural lighting but eyes rather imploring as she turned to the girl next to her.

"Mildred.. I do just want to say how proud I have been. The way you have handled yourself, how diligent you have been with your studies and how you have actually _listened_ to me about gaining your strength back before transferring again."

She continued, "It can be very easy, once one learns to transfer, to transfer everywhere and to _forget_ about the beauty of being in places like this."

"You're concerned I'm going to transfer everywhere?" Mildred raised an eyebrow.

"Forever a concerned form-mistress," Hecate raised a sardonic eyebrow. "I am aware that transferring will seem _thrilling_ for a while... I am aware that you will no doubt be getting up to mischief as soon as you feel my back is turned. I have worked you hard the last few days, some; yourself included, might say that I have worked you too hard and I know you are rightly wanting to test out the freedom and limits of your new skill, but I wouldn't want you missing out on some of the things life has to offer, obtained by simply _walking_."

"So you're saying to sneak out after lights-out the old-fashioned way?" Mildred grinned cheekily.

"Amusing," Hecate shot her a look that should have, but didn't, stifle her giggles.

"Can I try now?" Mildred queried.

"Yes," Hecate murmured simply with a curt nod of her head.

"Really?" Mildred's eyes widened, she hadn't expected that.

"They say no time like the present," Hecate replied with a smirk. "and it is clear you are back to full physical capacity. To that tree over there, straight back though - you're not cutting the walk short."

Mildred let out her held breath, closing her eyes she felt the magic rush through every pore in her body, memory in her muscles practically fizzing, a jolting sensation hitting her as she landed with a clumsy thud near the tall silverbirch that Hecate had gestured to. She cheered and whooped, punching the air with happiness. Repeating the process, she felt her leg give way as she collapsed into her teacher, Hecate using sturdy arms to hold the girl up before placing her right. Mildred looked up grinning sheepishly and apologetically.

"Inelegant as always," Hecate rolled her eyes. "But bravo."


	26. Calm

Confidence and Control

Chapter 26: Calm

"How's our little sprog?" Pippa smirked through the glass of the mirror in Hecate's office, "Still jumping from place to place?"

"Honestly Pippa, I must have told the girl to refrain from using up all of her magic about twenty times today - she is _inexhaustible_ ," Hecate shook her head.

"You were very much the same if I remember.." Pippa laughed at the horrified look on Hecate's face regarding the insinuation that she could have ever not used her magic for a very specific purpose.

"I've created a monster!" Hecate wailed.

"A rather marvellous monster," Pippa giggled at Hecate's dramatic tones.

A thud followed by a clank of a falling cup caused Hecate to look around sharply. As if on cue, Mildred had appeared in her office and somehow managed to knock over a teacup from the shelf and flutter paper through the air as she regained her balance.

Pippa giggled, "I see what you mean Hecate."

Hecate shot around, eyeing the chaos with an open mouth. She flicked her hand causing the teacup to repair itself and zoom back into place, folding her arms as she stared disbelievingly at the girl.

"Sorry Miss Hardbroom, misjudged it." Mildred exposed her bottom teeth as she clenched her jaw as she bent down grabbing at essays.

"My office has a _knocking policy_ Mildred Hubble, it was lights out _over an hour ago_ \- you should be in bed ready for a productive day of lessons," Hecate seethed. "Not transferring into my office in order to completely ruin my afternoon's marking."

"I know-I know - accident I swear.. I should have known.." Mildred began to babble.

" _Bed_ ," Hecate commanded silkily.

"Night Mils - have a good day tomorrow!" Pippa sang, Hecate shot her a glare.

"Goodnight Miss Pentangle," Mildred waved at her smiling, before catching Hecate's darkened eyes, upright posture and the small vein playing about her neck in its tensity. Fear running over her as she realised with her jolt that her form-mistress was genuinely angry at her. The smile dropped dramatically from her face.

" _Bed_ ," Hecate repeated as a hiss, before Mildred felt a wash of cold over her as she was vanished to her bedroom.

Hecate turned to face the mirror, pulling a face rather like a mid-tantrumed toddler.

"Marvellous monster indeed," Hecate shot at Pippa through heavily gritted teeth.

"Go tuck her in Hiccup!" Pippa said as if it were the most ordinary thing in the world after witnessing the events that had just unfurled.

"She's a fourteen year old witch Pippa. A very badly behaved fourteen year old witch who needs some time to reflect before I _severely punish_ her. She does not need any fuss nor does she need me to tuck her in like she's a five year old."

"Hasn't stopped you before though has it?.." Pippa wrinkled her nose knowingly, "She might not _need_ you to, but she will certainly _want_ you to - especially when she thinks you're angry!"

"I am angry!" Hecate sighed, before raising her hand in a defeated motion as Pippa continued to grin rather triumphantly.

xxx

Mildred felt the flash of Miss Hardbroom's aura appear and dashed under her covers, squinting her eyes closed as the woman stood before her, not wanting to deal with a cross Hecate Hardbroom now or ever.

"Nice try Mildred," Hecate said lowly.

Mildred opened her eyes and sat up, back against her headboard, taking in Hecate's still tightly wound posture, but swallowed a sigh of relief as Hecate sat down to join her. Mildred noticed she had summoned two mugs of the tea Mildred had previously drank at the cottage before bed, the smell of it sending pangs of comfort from the nightstand.

"Sorry," Mildred repeated, trying to read Miss Hardbroom's guarded facial expressions. "Genuinely didn't think I'd land in your office like that. I'm guessing I've detention for being up after lights out?"

"Yes," Hecate ascertained moodily. "Tomorrow night, straight after lessons. Where were you trying to transfer to?" she asked curiously, noticing with satisfaction that with each sip Mildred's eyes were noticeably drooping. "The truth, Mildred, I'll know if you're lying to me."

Mildred nodded, having no doubt that Hecate certainly would. She sighed,"Couldn't sleep - felt a bit anxious about being back with everyone tomorrow and thought I'd try something that was in one of the books you gave me. It said how theoretically you could transfer somewhere unspecific, if linked to a desire. I wanted somewhere calming and thought I'd end up on the battlements again."

"And miss your landing and fall straight off?" Hecate clicked her tongue at the girl's stupidity, "Even my powers of healing are not that strong," she said scornfully, before the realisation hit her that Mildred had instead been transported to _her office_ in order to feel _calm_. A wave of such strong emotion ran through her that it felt like she'd been knocked over onto the flagstones.

 _Calming - she associates me with feeling calm._ She stared for a moment at the girl in front of her, still not really getting why the girl would choose her. _Why would you put all of your trust in someone that once treated you so harshly? That struggles so much to give you the affection you so deserve._

"I didn't really think it through," Mildred murmured from now-closed eyes.

"You never do!" Hecate said firmly, "Silly girl," she added with just a touch of the well of fondness she felt, as she magicked the blanket up tightly, taking the mug from Mildred as the girl shimmied down to get cosy.

She placed her cool, bony hands to Mildred's and traced a comforting pattern onto her pulse, allowing some of her magic to seep through and calm Mildred's own.

xx


	27. A Balancing Act

**Many blessings to you and your loved ones during this difficult time.**

 **x**

Confidence and Control

Chapter 27: A Balancing Act

Mildred awoke early the next morning, feeling strangely well-rested. But her room was colder than ever as the icicles from bleak mid-winter weather settled on her window panes and made her breath appear as frozen mist. She hopped around her room trying to avoid frostbite as she rolled up her tights and placed on her uniform. She grinned to herself, remembering that she could transfer straight into the hall with no audience at this time in the morning. Tensing her muscles, she appeared mid-hop and had to do a little dance in order to regain her balance.

Hecate looked over from her bowl of porridge, rolling her eyes.

"You will _revisit_ your room, re-do your hair, straighten your uniform - actually place your gymslip on the _right way_ , before returning Mildred Hubble. All by _walking_..." she added as Mildred went to transfer.

Mildred went to argue, but was cut off, " _Do not_ test my patience at this hour in the morning Mildred, or I will be adding to your detention."

Mildred huffed and glared as she stalked out of the hall.

xxx

Mildred waited for her friends to ready themselves before returning to the hall once more. When she entered the room, there were more than a few students staring interestedly as rumours of the incident with Ethel had clearly been spread, and it took all of Mildred's might not to disappear on the spot, knowing that would fuel their interest more. Ethel stared from next to Felicity and Mildred caught her gaze warily, wondering if she would find anger there, but instead finding her irises unreadable.

Feeling suddenly ill, Mildred helped herself to her porridge, noticing that Miss Hardbroom had already left for her morning prep. Why couldn't she have waited? Mildred thought crossly.

Sitting at the table, Mildred pushed her porridge around disinterestedly, feeling sick and desperate to leave. Maud and Enid were making small-talk about what Mildred had missed in lessons, but Mildred could barely hear them.

Leaving most of the porridge, she left the table. She knew Miss Hardbroom would be expecting her in the potions' lab, but she couldn't face her just yet, couldn't face her somehow knowing that she hadn't eaten properly. Instead she transferred out side, where the air seemed suddenly more breathable. She began to walk, not really caring that she was wearing her school-boots and didn't have her coat with her, the icy breeze helping to numb her overactive mind.

xxx

Hecate cut up bamboo stems with more force than she intended. _Where was the wretched girl?_

She glared at a particularly hard to slice stem, before it yielded under her increased effort. Neurones were firing all over her body, her tense muscles feeling even tenser. Her anger intensifying as each minute passed.

Finally giving in, she placed the stalks to one side and transferred into the hall, not really caring if she would be making a scene by dragging Mildred by her ear.

She looked around the room looking for a gangly teen with plaited hair. She wasn't there.

Maud and Enid stared at their teacher nervously as she approached, "She's not here Miss." "We don't know where she went," they said simultaneously.

Hecate stared at them, eyebrow raised, knowing instinctively they were telling her the truth.

She reappeared in Mildred's room finding it empty. Frustration cursed at her as she knew she would have to perform the spell that would make her headache worse. That girl! Closing her eyes, she tensed her brain, fired her nerves, grasping and feeling for Mildred's magical signature. She was far away, somewhere cold, somewhere that caused her signature to smell ever so slightly of pine needles.

The woods. Of course she would be out of bounds.

She disappeared through the void again and appeared rather silently amidst the trees, behind Mildred. The girl's bones were clearly shaking from cold, her improved diet not quite adding enough flesh back onto the girl yet.

"Mildred Hubble," Hecate hissed, the white-hot fury in her voice tickling the back of the girl's neck.

In true Mildred style, the girl gave a little squeal in surprise and then proceeded to miss her footing on a branch ahead, falling into some thorn bushes which caught on her uniform. She tried to get to her feet, but the more she tried the more entangled she became. She looked at Hecate rather helplessly.

" _Oh for goodness' sake girl!_ "

Hecate extended a cold hand to pull the girl up, noticing as she did that the thorns had cut through her tights, causing a blooded hole and created prick marks against her right cheek, which Mildred must have felt as she placed her hand to her face and looked in horror at the blood she had smeared.

Wordlessly Hecate manoeuvred her to the nearest wide horizontal branch and sat the now shaking and whimpering girl down. Kneeling before her, she took out an ointment of some kind and began dabbing at her knee, causing a cooling sensation which seemed to simultaneously both soothe and burn, but appeared to instantly stop the bleeding. Never one to miss out on a teaching opportunity, despite how cross she was currently feeling, she scooped a small amount on to the end of Mildred's finger.

"Identify it," she ordered silkily, as she began to dab at the girl's face, harshly caressing the marks and ignoring the girl's wincing and if she were being honest with herself, finding it rather satisfying in her current mood.

Mildred stared at her teacher for a couple of seconds, realising she was serious. She dropped her gaze to the small flecks of gold, "Goldenrod?" she mumbled, trying to ignore the pain of Hecate's long nails scraping against her wounds.

"Alongside yarrow and calendula," Hecate supplemented, " _Not ever_ to be mixed up with a basic marigold, despite their rather similar appearances," she added.

Mildred waited bracingly for Hecate to finish, and when the woman finally stood up to her full height, she waited for the severe reprimand for being out of bounds without even her coat, for the state of her uniform, for not being in the lab. But her bated breath was wasted, it didn't come.

"You're going to be late for Spell Science," Hecate told her once she had placed the ointment back into her inside pocket. Mildred looked up and winced, knowing that Hecate wasn't just cross with her. She was furious.

xxx

Mildred sat in her first lesson of the day, stomach rumbling angrily as she did her best to concentrate.

She was partly dreading, partly wanting, it to be the afternoon and double potions.

She hated this, hated not being able to explain herself and hated being on the wrong side of Miss Hardbroom. I needed to breathe. It sounded such a pathetic excuse.

Making notes quietly, she noticed that again Ethel Hallow seemed to be glancing her way a lot more than usual. However, unusually, her gaze seemed mild and not laced with any of her usual anger.

At lunchtime, Mildred ate her sandwich with a real sense of vigour and concentrated on not looking up at the teachers' table, though she felt dark eyes upon her, watching, analysing, checking.

xxx

Afternoon came and Mildred filed into the potions' lab with the rest of her class.

"Truth serums," Miss Hardbroom announced. "Any recipe, _without textbooks_ ," she added dangerously to the girls that had optimistically placed their books on their desks. "I will be splitting you into partners," she informed them, "It is important for trust and teamwork to develop amongst coven members."

She made a sweeping movement with her hand, causing her perfectly copperplate handwriting to appear on the chalkboard.

Mildred stared up in horror, she had been paired with Ethel.

She glared at Miss Hardbroom accusingly, but the woman simply stared deftly back, challenging.

"Time is of the essence," she told her class, "You may begin."

Moodily, Mildred moved towards Ethel's workbench. Ethel had already begun collecting ingredients and wordlessly handed Mildred some basil stems to chop, clearly establishing that it would be her who was in charge.

Mildred glared a little, but accepted the job and the role.

When finished, she went to the ingredients table to peruse. She trailed her hands through the different cuttings, enjoying the feel of them against her hands until she found to her astonishment a plant that she recognised at once from its dark green sprigs and slightly acidic smell- limbus grass. She grabbed handfuls of the plant excitedly.

"Ethel," she told the girl who was stirring the cauldron at a steady but precise pace.

"Limbus grass - look," Ethel stared at the girl.

"I doubt Miss Hardbroom would make it so easy for us," she raised a brow, knowing what Mildred was insinuating, "You're mistaken Mildred."

"Its exactly the same as one I once collected and drew in my sketchbook, I would know it anywhere, it has to be!" Mildred replied, she lowered her voice, "I wouldn't put it past her to see if anyone would catch on.."

"Mildred you're honestly asking me to throw away what is working out to be a pretty much perfect potion on some of whim of yours?" Ethel said as scathingly as she could manage, yet Mildred could see doubt in her eyes as she stared at the plant Mildred proffered.

"It's not a whim Ethel!"

"My grades matter to me Mildred," Ethel told her haughtily.

"They matter to me too, I haven't got a perfect grade record to fall back on, but trust me Ethel. It is limbus grass - I know it is."

Ethel sighed, "If this is wrong Mildred will you please admit that I tried to talk you out of it?"

"I'll take full responsibility," Mildred nodded in acceptance of Ethel's terms.

xxx

Hecate moved around the classroom smoothly, enjoying the bated breath of her students who were awaiting her approval. Her class' efforts so far had been rather average, verging on dismal with some teams: serums that would theoretically work (she refused to test them and instead used a charm to detect their potencies) but many would have clear side-effects like hiccupping, sneezing and in Felicity and Enid's case, nervous hives. She had disappointment etched on her face as she moved towards Mildred and Ethel. She noticed Mildred barely looked at her and instead kept her gaze down. She refused to acknowledge how that made her feel.

"What do you two have to show me?" Hecate queried, business-like as usual and doing her best not to let in any of the irritation she felt towards Mildred.

Ethel kept strangely silent and glanced sideways at Mildred, who looked up but kept her gaze glazed.

"Limbus-grass - a reduction with a blend of caraway seeds for indigestion and dock leaves to counter act the rash that some people get from taking it," she said in a small voice.

Hecate raised her eyebrow, impressed that the rare ingredient had been recognise and that the girls had gone one step further.

"You are confident that your potion will work?" Hecate asked tryingly.

Mildred shrugged, "You're always telling me to have more confidence," she said in an even smaller voice so that the rest of the class couldn't overhear, Ethel looked at Mildred, eyes narrowed.

Hecate gave a brisk nod. "It was limbus-grass, I was expecting more to recognise it." She looked around her classroom accusatorily. "Your addition of the other two ingredients was quite inspired - I am guessing that was you Ethel Hallow?"

"Yes Miss Hardbroom," Ethel nodded, a smile of triumph on her face.

"It is good to see that my advice has not quite gone to waste," Hecate said quietly and looked between the two. She used a pipette to take some of the potion from the cauldron and flicked her wrist before her hand hovered before the liquid, her eyes closed momentarily. "This potion will work quite well if truth is desired," Hecate told the girls, approval dripping into her voice. "95% - I would recommend fennel rather than caraway in the future as it is even less of an allergen."

Mildred grinned at Ethel - 95% - she could pretty much guarantee she would now pass potions this term. Pass with a pretty high percentage! Ethel grinned back, exuberant that her faultless record was now even stronger.

Hecate refused to let any feelings she had about seeing the girl happy show upon her face, but was slightly thankful that the girl still avoided looking at her.

xxx

Mildred remained seated as the rest of her class left, her jubilance in achieving such a great mark faltering slightly as she finally looked up at Hecate sitting imposingly at her desk.

Hecate sighed, the dragon sigh again as she raised her head to Mildred, "I don't know if I even dare ask for an explanation of this morning." She shook her head at the girl. "Do you even realise how much you worry me? Doing silly, _reckless_ things. What if something had happened to you Mildred? You seem to just expect me to constantly appear to vanquish away any problems." She looked at Mildred, who had the decency to look abashed. "A witch does not rely on other witches, Mildred," she stared piercingly.

"I don't mean to rely on you.. I just..." Mildred faltered.

"Just what? Just think that rules don't apply to you..."

"That's not it - I.."

"Just think that you can do whatever you like, have the run of the place, because you're to be my Goddaughter? I hope you realise the expectations that will be placed on you, the _standard_ that will be expected when word gets out of our relationship. You're to aspire to be the very _best example_ of a Cackles girl Mildred... Not flouting rules in a way that if Miss Cackle had found you would have got you into much more trouble than you're in. Perhaps I should tell Miss Cackle.. Let her deal with you instead of me protecting you all of the time.." Hecate seethed. _"Well?_ " she continued, "I asked you why and you've _yet_ to answer. The truth now Mildred."

"I I don't - I just - I can't explain it..." she said frustratedly. Truth - my potion, Mildred realised, she grabbed the vial that Hecate had previously tested and drank it, the taste bitter on her tongue as she felt the slightly woozy effect take control of her body.

"Mildred!" Hecate exclaimed, furious, "What in Morgana's name do you think you are doing!?"

"I'm telling the truth," Mildred murmured. "This way you can be sure." She met Hecate's eyes with trepidation, wishing in that moment she had taken a courage potion instead. "You asked me why, Miss. The truth is I don't really know why I do some of the stupid things I do.. I just couldn't take everybody looking at me that morning, like I was some kind of freak for not being able to control my magic like they can, for learning how to transfer. I wanted, needed, to calm myself down.. Rather than be a burden on you again."

"A burden - do you think so little of me?" Hecate gasped. "That I would think you a _burden_."

Mildred winced, wishing she had been clearer, "I could never think badly of you - that's not what I mean." She bit her lip, hoping she had done the right thing in taking the potion. She tried again:

"You're one of the most important people in my life, Miss Hardbroom. You're like my second mother - my magical mother. But I don't want you to have to keep fighting every battle for me, or even with me - when you've done enough already."

Hecate took an inward breath as some of her anger dissipated at Mildred's annoyingly frank explanation, at her freckled face grimacing like this was a painful conversation. Part of her wanted to snap at her still, to tell her she sounded ungrateful, impudent and selfish, but she knew deep-down that that was not the truth of how Mildred was feeling. The girl was fourteen years old, fourteen and with a heart of gold. She was still working out how to deal with the complex thoughts swirling around her mind and Hecate knew from her own experience, that that could only be done by Mildred herself, however much she wanted to help her.

"Are you asking for more independence?" Hecate pursed her lips thoughtfully.

Mildred bowed her head before pulling a face, "Not because I don't want you - I think I'll need you regardless - but when you're constantly checking up on me I feel like I'm constantly disappointing you. Sometimes my head is screaming at me, and I'm so scared I'll end up taking it out on you and that would make me feel even worse. You don't deserve that. You deserve me when I want to be with you, not just to deal with me when I need you."

Hecate sighed. Suddenly feeling ridiculous so far away from the girl she transferred smoothly into the seat next to hers. She cupped the girl's cheek. Wishing words would come, she suddenly found herself with a vial of potion in her hand, that she had not meant to summon. "Only fair," she nodded as she downed the vial briskly. Mildred's eyes widened.

Hecate felt her posture slump slightly, feeling the effects tingle through and relax her upright body, making it seem so easy, so natural to speak from her heart for once. "Mildred.. you clearly have not understood quite the depth of affection for you that has grown within in me the last few months - quite how much I've grown to love you as my own. You - Mildred Hubble, will only ever disappoint me when you endanger yourself by not thinking. If you needed time, you should have told me. I'm a grown woman, I can handle a teenager's mood swings without feeling rejected if that is what you are afraid of." She caught the tear that had dripped down Mildred's cheek. "We all need a bit of time to deal with ourselves sometimes Mildred, you shouldn't be ashamed of that."

Mildred looked into Hecate's eyes, gaining comfort from seeing her teacher no longer angry. "I want to be better - honestly I do Miss Hardbroom. I want to be the witch you believe I can be..."

"And you will Mildred, how could you not be?" Hecate chortled, "You I don't make it a habit to be wrong..."

"I'm _sorry_ \- I'm sorry if I made you worry," Mildred said quietly.

"I know you are...Next time you will tell me that you need to slip away? A location spell? So I know exactly where you have gone . And you will at least make sure you wear proper shoes? And take an appropriate cloak?" Hecate looked sternly into the girl's eyes.

"I don't know the spell," Mildred admitted in a small voice.

"Then it's a _good_ job you have detention tonight. We will begin once you have _scrubbed_ each cauldron of any residue..." Hecate told the girl pointedly, who had the audacity to grin through her tears.


	28. Glowing

**A bit of a filler, and also very strange to be writing about Christmas in the middle of a rather warm lockdown - but I've commented on the weather and its impact on the characters many times in this story that now logically its December in their world!**

Confidence and Control

Chapter 28: Glowing

" _Strangest_ thing ever-" Dimity Drill told Hecate at break the next day. "Ethel Hallow and Mildred Hubble - seem to have put their feud to rest. Laughing and giggling during PE, then today grouped together for broomstick formation. Entirely their choice. Unbelievable really! You wouldn't know anything about it would you Hecate?"

"No - nothing," Hecate replied stiffly, but inside she was reeling - did this mean they had finally actually listened to her advice? She hadn't spoken to Mildred properly since breakfast, had not expected her to join her after their discussion in detention, but had been relieved when she had. If only for a quiet but companionable bowl of porridge. Hecate had not insisted that Mildred join her for morning prep and instead gave her permission to go for a walk either by herself or with her friends.

"I hope Ethel isn't up to something," Dimity continued, "I know you and Mildred have a close bond Hecate, I know you will look out for her..."

"Miss Drill do you have something to ask?" Hecate said pointedly, wishing Dimity would be a bit more candid for once.

"I wouldn't even know how to phrase a question, unless you have something to share?" Dimity snorted.

Hecate sighed, "I suppose it was going to have to come out sooner or later..."

xxx

"Oh Hecate - that's so amazing. I didn't really want to ask you how it went with Mildred staying with you - but I assumed it must have gone well, she seemed so much more full of life when she came back and has been since, despite this whole transferring debacle, still struggles of course - but there's a strength there now."

"Hmmm," Hecate agreed.

"And if Ethel has finally decided to put down her sword that can only benefit Mildred. You wouldn't have a hand in that, _would you Hecate?_ " Dimity smirked knowingly.

"I simply told a few home truths," Hecate smirked back. "I'm rather surprised my advice was taken."

"You're very convincing," Dimity laughed.

xxx

The weather turned colder, the nights grew darker. The days seemed to accelerate and disappear, as Christmas loomed its glittering presence on the horizon.

Hecate had always had mixed feelings about Christmas. The expectation to be happy and jolly - not exactly two characteristics that people would associate with the aloof deputy headmistress. As the 'witchiest witch' she liked and enjoyed the witching traditions around the festival of Yule tide much more and an overwhelming part of her longed for those festivities to be more celebrated rather than the less-meaningful nod to the non-witching world and Father Christmas. Nevertheless she wasn't a complete scrooge, Pippa simply wouldn't let her.

"Oh you should have heard them darling," she beamed to Hecate through the mirror. "They sang so so beautifully!" Pippa had her long golden hair down and wavy, with a woven crown of tinsel around her head, looking just like an angel from a Victorian painting. She had just hosted her school's carol singing service and was in a rather gleeful mood even for Pippa.

"I am sure you made quite the _impression_ ," Hecate eyed her tinsel with a smirk that failed to hold any derision.

"Oh you know how much I _adore_ Christmas time," Pippa grinned, flicking back her crowned head. "Or Yule as I should say in your presence before you _lecture_ me..."

"I don't _lecture!_ " Hecate replied, "I just think its really important that we don't forget our witching ways, in favour of a non-witching festival which has evolved into something _lacking a deeper spiritual meaning._ "

"Always tradition," Pippa smiled fondly. "But what about Mildred? You've her to think of this year."

"She will have her own celebrations I'm sure with Julie," Hecate replied quickly. Truthfully, she had considered Mildred and her plans for the holiday in the hidden recesses of her mind. But surely the girl would prefer to do her own thing? She would much rather spend it with her mother eating chocolate in cheerful Christmas jumpers than to spend it with Hecate.

"Have you asked her?" Pippa asked, seeing right through Hecate as usual.

"N-no of course not!" Hecate replied crossly. "It would be _inappropriate_ to make her choose. And anyway - the girl asked for _independence_ , I'm giving her that!"

"Hecate she didn't mean it like that and you know it. Anyway you've been ever so good," Pippa complimented, "You definitely seem to have the balance right now."

Hecate rolled her eyes, knowing full well that Pippa knew how to get round her. It was true, she had seemed to have struck it right with Mildred recently. She hadn't insisted that Mildred join her for breakfast or morning prep, but found more often than not the girl did join her. She had made it clear to Mildred too that she was allowed to eat her dinner in the main hall with her friends whenever she pleased, under the clear understanding that the fearsome Miss Tapioca would be checking her plate was clean, but again more often Mildred would say, "See you later Miss Hardbroom," as she left her potions lessons, a covert message to Hecate that the girl wanted to join her. After eating, Hecate would help Mildred with her non-verbal spells, pride hitting her right in the chest as the girl continued to thrive with her casting.

Hecate found that she actually enjoyed Mildred's company even more, knowing that the girl was there entirely by choice.

"Anyway the winter-solstice is four days before Christmas anyway, and Julie is at work, so you have no excuse not to ask Millie," Pippa grinned triumphantly.

"How do you know Julie's working?" Hecate narrowed her eyes.

"Oh we keep in touch you know. She managed to get an update on her Iphone and it allows something called FaceTime with a maglet - its just like mirroring but you don't have to be near a mirror. We chatted last night..." Pippa said, feigning nonchalance.

"And she just so _happened_ to mention being at work on the 21st?" Hecate shot back sarcastically.

"She's a nurse, Hiccup, she's only Christmas Day off!" Pippa smirked.

"How _convenient_ ," Hecate muttered.

"Isn't is just?" Pippa smiled. "In all seriousness though Hiccup, she was saying how the last few years Millie's been fine home alone while Julie does the long shifts, but she was saying she was more worried about her this year. I know you would be doing her a favour if you offer babysitting duties.

"Mildred's hardly a baby," Hecate scoffed.

"Turn of phrase dear - I do think from what you've said she would be fine, but I also know she would be better, safer even, with you."

Hecate nodded acceptingly, resigned to the fact that her head and heart now matched up. "Fine - I will ask her."

xx

"Eat your green-beans," Hecate told the girl sternly, watching her play with them on her plate.

Mildred looked sheepish as she pierced through some of the vegetable with her fork, "So I grow big and strong?" she laughed under her breath.

Hecate, hearing her, replied, "So you don't have a severe telling off about the importance of vitamins and iron."

" _Sustenance_ ," Mildred rolled her eyes as she placed the fork to her mouth.

"Good girl," Hecate raised her eyebrows dryly.

"Ethel said when she was just a kid that her mum used to make her and her sisters list ten uses for each ingredient for potions before they were allowed to tuck in," Mildred muttered. "Sometimes it would be over an hour before they got it right and their food had gone cold," Mildred's tone was clearly disgusted. "Once she got stuck on green beans and her mum gave her nothing but green beans to eat over the next three days as punishment."

Hecate wasn't surprised, it made sense with everything she knew about Ursula Hallow. Then a realisation hit hard...

"If you remember at the cottage I got you to identify ingredients Mildred," she said in a small voice.

"That was totally different! You were distracting me... So that I wouldn't get anxious..." Mildred shook her head.

"You knew?" Hecate's jaw went square, Mildred's perceptiveness was so strong for a fourteen year old.

"Sometimes I need to be _distracted_.." Mildred shrugged before she placed down her now-empty fork, "See?" she gestured at her now empty plate.

"You've made good friends with Ethel," Hecate acknowledged.

" I wouldn't say good friends, but we've come to a bit of an _understanding_. I can't forget some of the things she has done to me over the past four years, but she has changed. She's working hard not to be competitive. She can actually be quite fun when she lets herself be," Mildred gave a small smile, "You were right about her I guess..."

"Good," Hecate approved.

"Can we practise a colour-changing spell tonight?" Mildred asked once Hecate had cleared the plates. "Ethel says there's a way to pre-programme it? I was thinking it might be nice to do with the baubles on the school Christmas tree, Miss Bat says I can help her put it up tomorrow."

"Did she now?" Hecate rolled her eyes, "As your form-mistress she should have asked _my permission_ first. And I suppose this will get you out of lessons?"

"Flying," Mildred admitted in a small voice, "But honestly Miss - it's so cold, too cold to be flying - I can barely move my limbs they're that frozen."

"You're not suppose to move your limbs," Hecate smirked, "The cold helps to keep an upright posture and its also very character building for you young girls."

"Easy for you to say!" Mildred huffed.

"You've your Flying Assessment in May Mildred, it's really important," Hecate lectured.

"Pippa says I'll do just fine," Mildred pouted, "One day off isn't going to stop me from passing," she continued.

"Passing might be all you aspire to, but you know you could achieve a higher standard than that if you put your mind to it," Hecate replied sternly, Mildred's more relaxed attitude to her grades forever a bug-bear.

"So you're saying I can't help?" Mildred frowned.

Hecate sighed wearily, deciding. She had all the cards and there was no point being churlish, but she also knew the importance of keeping her authority with Mildred. She had never experienced a relationship like it before and she was determined that she wouldn't treat Mildred any differently to the others on school matters unless it truly was to help her academically. She wanted Mildred to succeed, more than anything, but she knew for that to happen the had to be happy and that was a difficult balance to strike. "You can help Miss Bat -...

"Thank you!" Mildred did a little victory dance.

" _Provided_ ," Hecate continued, "Provided you make up the time missed with me at the weekend," she finished.

Mildred's face fell slightly, "Oh but Miss Hardbroom - that's hardly a fair trade!"

" _Meaning_?" Hecate's eyes flashed dangerously.

"Nothing!" Mildred stopped herself, she didn't think Hecate would appreciate being told that her being a stickler for broomstick standards would make weekend flying particularly taxing. Miss Hardbroom had taught her class in Form 1, and Mildred still had flashbacks to being a tiny little first year forced on a broomstick for the first time under Miss Hardbroom's unnerving glares.

"I accept," Mildred nodded. "So the bauble-changing thing?" She stood up excitedly.

"Before we begin Mildred.. Whilst we are on the subject..." Hecate gestured with her eyes for the girl to sit down again.

When Mildred was seated and had fixed her tawny eyes upon her she began, "Now I know that your mother is working lots over the Christmas period.." Mildred nodded in agreement, expecting a lecture on the importance of looking after herself, but Hecate continued smoothly, "I would love to extend an invitation to you Mildred, to celebrate the festivities of Yule-tide alongside myself and Pippa. I promise to have you back for Christmas Day itself."

Mildred felt a well of emotion rise up within her. She had never celebrated Yule, never had the chance to experience what her witch-born friends spoke of so familiarly. "I- I'd _love_ to Miss Hardbroom," Mildred gave a full wattage grin.

"You're sure?" Hecate asked.

"Definitely!" Mildred bit her lip excitedly.

"Well I haven't cleared it with your mother yet and I know you will be anxious to get permission. I would suggest the 17th until Christmas Eve, that way you can accompany me straight from Cackles and then you've still Christmas and the latter part of the holiday to spend with your mother."

"You don't mind having me? I won't be intruding?" Mildred queried.

" _Intruding_?" Hecate tutted before she laughed. "Mildred its hardly an intrusion when I've extended a very heartfelt invitation. Both Pippa and I will be more than happy to have you."

"I'm so excited," Mildred grinned. Feeling suddenly sentimental she went to perch on the arm of Hecate's chair, a teenager's version of sitting on an adult's knee and leant and nuzzled her shoulder bone into Hecate's rigid arm. "I cannot wait to spend some time with Pippa, and to spend some time with you of course," she added in a small voice.

Hecate scoffed, "You spend every day with me," she allowed her arm to relax.

"It's not the _same_ when you're _my teacher,_ " Mildred murmured back.

"I'm always your teacher," Hecate replied nonplussed. She wasn't aware that anything about her demeanour ever particularly changed. She was Miss Hardbroom through and through, regardless of the circumstance or location.

"Yes, but sometimes you're my teacher first and foremost, whereas at the cottage you weren't," Mildred argued smiling.

"Have you been taking truth potion again?" Hecate laughed at Mildred's frankness and different way of seeing the world, "Tea Mildred? And then I will show you some spells for baubles that will make it the finest Cackles has ever had."

xxx

Julie Hubble was thrilled with Mildred spending Yule with Hecate and Pippa and mirrored Hecate as soon as she had got off the mirror with Mildred.

"You're _sure_ Hecate? You don't want a bit of peace?" Julie questioned.

"I've never been known to do things unless I'm sure," Hecate replied dryly.

"Pippa didn't talk you into it?" Julie laughed.

"She did come up with the suggestion, but it certainly makes sense," Hecate shrugged.

"She's so excited to experience Yule," Julie laughed. "Hecate... I'm probably being too open and honest right now, and I can only blame the two glasses of wine I've had with dinner - but Mildred told me all about what she heard with the masikim.. I think it was her way of digesting it all.. She wouldn't have wanted to betray your confidence or anything."

Hecate nodded, heat flushing to her cheeks. She had expected Mildred to have told her mum, but that didn't make this conversation any easier.

"Please don't feel that... That I would ever feel like your interest in Mildred's wellbeing is anything other than enormously healthy. She's never had a dad, I've never had anyone to share her with that feels how I do... It's just nice to be able to share her with you. It's nice to be able to gush about how special she is to someone that truly knows."

"Thank you," Hecate said in a rather croaked version of her voice after a moment. "Although I'm hardly the gushing kind."

Julie smiled, but continued, "And I know that you will be so desperate for some alone time with Pippa after Mildred's left you - but I was always taught that Christmas Day is about family, and well.. We're a strange kind of _family_ aren't we?" Julie laughed, "But it would feel right if you and Pippa were to join us for Christmas Day... I cannot promise I'm anywhere near as good a cook as you of course, but I've never had complaints..."

Hecate was stunned for a moment. "I've never really celebrated Christmas," she said truthfully, "But Pippa has always been _intrigued_ by it."

"Is that a yes?" Julie teased.

"If it's okay with Mildred," Hecate allowed.

Julie snorted, "You know it will be."

xxx

Decorating the Christmas tree with Miss Bat had indeed been lovely, and Mildred was very proud when the colour-changing spell that she had perfected the night before worked and got a glint of self-satisfied pride whenever she was in the hall. Hecate had even complimented it in a quiet voice as she walked past Mildred in the corridor, making Mildred glow like the baubles in question.

The flying session with her had however been just as tortuous as Mildred believed it would be. Mildred felt like she was holding in her temper, as Hecate corrected the most small of things.

"I will not tolerate _unrounded_ hips Mildred," Hecate told her, hands on her own hips. "You're a fourth-year, that should be natural by now! I'm sure Miss Drill has told you plenty of times!"

"But I'm side-saddle," Mildred whined.

"Only your legs should be to the side," Hecate pursed her lips, "You know this Mildred."

"But how can you even tell?!" Mildred's eyes widened from her current position, hovering eye-level with the statuesque adult.

"It's my job to tell!" Hecate shot back. She placed her gloved hands onto the small of Mildred's back, straightening her posture forward before she muttered something causing Mildred to look down in surprise. A thick black ribbon traced itself where Hecate gestured, pulling Mildred into the correct position with hardly any give.

"Really?!" Mildred muttered.

" _Really_ ," Hecate quirked a brow, "A very useful training technique. I shall remove it once I'm certain your body has memorised the position."

Mildred tried struggling against the bonds and Hecate rolled her eyes before laughing. "Stop - you're not going anywhere trust me."

The sound of Hecate laughing made Mildred relax a little and she shot Hecate a small smile to let her know she was doing her best to swallow her temper and not hold her harsh teaching against her.

"Now three times around the court Mildred, I'd like a simple loop during your second go and then build up some speed during number three," Hecate demanded.

Mildred grinned, speed really was her speciality.

"And... Go," Hecate intoned.

Mildred flew rather gracefully (even by Hecate's standards) around the courtyard, finding it easy to maintain her posture with the ribbons still in place. She did a strong symmetrical loop on the following ring before accelerating and coming to a rather abrupt end in front of her teacher.

"Very good," Hecate complimented genuinely. "You have good broom control and agility Mildred."

"Can I try without the ribbons now?" Mildred asked, pulling at them, her lower body felt achy.

"Not quite yet.." Hecate told the girl, whose face fell. "When it no longer hurts, that's when we take the ribbons off."

"Pain is something we have to learn to live with sometimes Mildred," Hecate said firmly when the girl set her doe-eyes upon her. "Achieving takes _effort_ , but its usually worth it."

xxx

Hecate had eventually released her prisoner and was very satisfied with Mildred, both her flying ability, and the way she had accepted corrections. She had invited the girl back to her rooms for some tea and biscuits.

She smiled awkwardly at Mildred as she placed down the tea. _Mildred knows me well enough by now to know when I am impressed_. Did she? Her inner 'Pippa' argued against her. _Build her up!_

"You really have progressed well with your flying Mildred. You've come on leaps and bounds since I last saw as a first year," she said stiltedly, but she hoped came out genuinely.

Mildred positively beamed, taken aback by the rare compliment and Hecate felt a wash of relief envelop her. _See! Look what impact you have._

xxx


	29. Judge Me

**I send love to those that currently need it.**

Confidence and Control

Chapter 29: Judge Me

A knock at Mildred's door knocked her out of her decision over which pajamas she should pack. "Come in," she sang, eyebrow raised, confused over who would be knocking as her friends had already left for their holidays.

" _Millie_!" Pippa Pentangle somehow managed to enter the dorm-room both gracefully and exuberantly. "Darling girl - its so good to see you in the _flesh_!"

Mildred got up from her position on the floor and found herself enveloped in the long arms that Pippa extended.

"Miss Pentangle!" she exclaimed.

" _Miss Pentangle indeed_ \- term time ended approximately two hours ago. _Pippa_ ," she giggled.

Mildred laughed, "Fine - you win - Pippa!"

"I've missed you so so much," Pippa exclaimed. "Hardly the same when you mirror or maglet me! Now I've been sent to tell you by our dearest Hiccup that... now.. let me think how she worded it.. Oh yes.." Pippa rearranged her features sensibly, and put on her best Miss Hardbroom impression, "That we are to meet her at her office at 6pm _sharp_. She said it with some real emphasis on sharp though - how did I do?"

"Spot on!" Giggled Mildred.

"Plenty of practice," Pippa coifed her hair.

xxx

It was more like 6.10pm when Pippa arrived with Mildred in toe. Pippa had gotten very distracted looking through the items in Mildred wardrobe and had a very intense conversation about Primark and whether a witch-version would make good business-sense.

Hecate glared at the two as they made their way in.

"Sorry - sorry! My fault," Pippa raised her hands, "Mildred was packed and ready, she's remarkably organised Hiccup.. Must be _your_ influence." Pippa winked at Mildred.

Hecate rolled her eyes at Pippa's obvious attempt at placating her. Mildred was many things, but never organised.

"I hope you've packed _sensibly_ Mildred?" Hecate questioned firmly.

"If you mean plenty of snuggly clothes then yes she has," Pippa answered for the girl.

" _Sensible_ ," Hecate nodded her head.

It was strange, Mildred thought, now that she knew Miss Hardbroom better she could see the awkwardness better. That sometimes, faced with or against frivolity and cheer she truly did not know how to act or behave so used as she was to being the disciplinarian of a school full of teenage witches. It was a strange kind of comfort to Mildred, who always questioned herself, to know that someone so seemingly together actually had to work at it sometimes.

She smiled comfortingly at Miss Hardbroom, who held her gaze for a moment or two, hoping to convey that although she was so easily attached to Pippa it was her that she had such a special, if not as seemingly easy, connection with. Hecate's lips widened slightly for a brief second, but her eyes became a warm chocolate as if she understood some of what Mildred was silently saying.

Pippa looked between the two and grinned, "Hecate informed me that she thinks you're ready to try and transfer the longer distance." Hecate flinched slightly. It really was the next step for Mildred's magic, but the risks involved still had made it very difficult decision to even broach the subject with the teenage girl. She had forced herself to, however, attempting to learn from her previous mistakes of her own anxieties making her question Mildred.

Mildred nodded sensibly but with a furrowed brow that displayed some nerves. Miss Hardbroom had spoken to her about it at great lengths the previous night, and Mildred, although feeling a proportional amount of pressure, felt like she wanted to give it a go. Moreover, she felt like Miss Hardbroom would not have discussed it with her unless she believed in her abilities and that was enough incentive for her to at least try.

Hecate felt in her cloak pocket, finding a long golden chain with a gold disc pendant on the bottom. She placed it around Mildred's neck, adjusting it with her magic so the disc lay in the small of her neck. " _Praesidium Salvus Filia,_ " Mildred heard her say as she felt the tiny jolts from her magic transfer onto the metal, warming it slightly.

" _Protected and unscathed_ ," Pippa translated with a small smile. "An ancient spell - It carries some of Hecate's magic Mildred," she explained.

Mildred fingered the pendant, seeing the engraved words circling the circumference. She felt a rush of emotion as her eyes widened with gratitude.

"It will allow me to track you Mildred," Hecate added truthfully, "When you are too far for a locater spell to work _effectively_. I hasten to add that it will only work when you choose to wear it. I will do my best to never command it of you."

Mildred nodded, "Thank you Miss Hardbroom."

"Now, all set?" Hecate asked feigning a confidence she wished she truly felt. Mildred nodded again, firmly and with a surprising amount of surety. "Good," Hecate approved, "Picture the cottage _firmly_ in your mind's eye Mildred. We won't be far behind."

Mildred nodded once more, and closed her eyes to truly concentrate. She gestured with her hand and within milliseconds had disappeared from the room.

Pippa looked at her girlfriend - "Did she arrive safe?" she asked after a moment, releasing the breath she hadn't realised she was holding.

Hecate clutched the pocket watch on her chest, "Yes," she replied with a small relieved smile. "Of course she did."

"I'm so proud of you Hiccup, that must have been hard!" Pippa grinned.

"Harder than I thought," Hecate allowed.

"She certainly will be ready for a relax!" Pippa grabbed at her hand and squeezed it tightly, "Come on - let's go spoil the girl rotten!"

xxx

The two appeared together in a mist of pink and black. Mildred grinned awkwardly, relieved that she had managed to land at the end of the gravel path, with the cottage straight in front of her.

"You did it!" Pippa practically screamed, hugging the girl around her waist. Mildred looked over Pippa's shoulder and up to Hecate, gauging her reaction.

"Very well done," Hecate cleared her throat and said no more. She held out her hand and summoned the house key, opening the door in a couple of brisk movements.

Pippa grabbed Mildred's hand and pulled her inside.

It was a strange feeling, Mildred thought, to feel such a twinge in her stomach at being inside the cottage. A feeling of satisfied longing that crawled into her inch of her being. She had felt that feeling each time she returned home to her tiny flat after long terms of homesickness, pangs of happiness that instead of making her smile, threatened to overwhelm her.

"Tea?" Pippa asked, noticing Hecate looking at Mildred oddly.

Hecate nodded, but didn't take her eyes off Mildred, "I think that would be wise."

In a smooth movement Hecate placed her cool hands around Mildred's shoulders (noticing that her hands were placed higher up that usual - the girl didn't seem to stop growing) and stirred her into the lounge. She pointed to the settee and once Mildred had obeyed, flicked her fingers at the fireplace causing roaring flames to appear. Mildred watched the colours of the flames turn from purple, to blue, to red before settling on a comfortingly bright orange; the unproportional heat instantly warming the stone-built room.

The woman sat next to Mildred, grabbing her hand and feeling her pulse rate. " _Breathe_ ," she instructed, feeling the too-fast thud of the blood passing through Mildred's wrist.

Mildred inhaled in slowly, allowing the breath to fill her lungs. Concentrating on the cool feeling of Hecate's fingertips.

Neither said anything for a couple of minutes. Hecate felt herself relax slightly as she felt the girl's pulse become slow and steady.

"I think I just became a bit ... _overcome_ ," Mildred started.

"No need Mildred," Hecate told her firmly knowing that the girl would tire herself further trying to find the words to explain, her fingers were now squeezing gently. "It was a big thing that you just achieved, mentally that's a lot of information to process, particularly when your body and magic is tired. It's been a long term."

"I am happy, honest," Mildred told her airily.

Hecate gave a small smirk. "It was a lot to ask of a fourteen year old, and yet you managed it. We will continue to work on your magic's stamina," she lifted her head, "Until then I think tea, dinner and an early night are in order."

"Tea!" Pippa came into the room at that moment, somehow (perhaps with magic) managing to balance three china cups in a triangle formation as she danced into the room. Her smile became even more genuine as she saw Mildred's hand still encased in Hecate's.

"Ahh perfect, thank you Pippa," Hecate took one of the cups and passed it to Mildred, before taking one for herself.

"All okay?" Pippa asked quizzically as she settled herself down on the opposite sofa.

"Quite," Hecate replied.

Mildred nodded at Pippa, "I didn't realise how exhausting it would be," she half explained.

Pippa smiled softly, "It's the holidays now Millie. Time for a real relax. No working her Hecate! I'm putting my foot down that any magic or essays you have planned can wait until both Yule and Christmas are over!"

Miss Hardbroom pursed her lips petulantly, "Fine," she assented a little sulkily. "We've plenty of _traditions_ to partake in anyway! It'll be useful for your education Mildred," Hecate seemed placated by her own words.

Pippa grinned at Mildred and rolled her eyes, but Mildred felt a real spasm of something deep in her stomach and squeezed at Hecate's hand in return.

xx

Pippa wrapped her arms around Hecate's waist. "You need to stop watching her sleep. It's creepy," she laughed whispered giggles.

"She's peaceful when she sleeps. It's the only time she's ever peaceful.." Hecate looked at Pippa.

"The only time you don't worry about her?" Pippa guessed as she led Hecate out of Mildred's room.

"I think I still worry," Hecate admitted.

"Momma Hiccup," Pippa teased. "When are you planning on making it official?" Pippa asked, "Do I need to buy a new hat?"

Hecate smiled, "I guess that's down to Mildred - she might not want it until I've fulfilled my capacity as her teacher. Might not want the accusations of favouritism, the comments."

"I imagine, based on what I've seen tonight Hiccup, that Millie would want a tie with you regardless of any possible comments," Pippa argued fervantly.

"You really think?" Hecate asked in a smaller voice than normal.

"You're honestly still questioning that?" Pippa shook her head, "Honestly Hecate - do start seeing yourself as we all do. That girl clearly loves you." Pippa watched Hecate's reaction closely, she rolled her eyes that there was still just a speckle of self-doubt in her eyes. "Now - are we having another glass of wine?" Pippa linked her arm, "It's not just the holidays for Mildred - you've had a very difficult term too."

xx

When Mildred woke up the next morning it took her a moment or two to realise where she was. When she did, her face tightened with a content smile.

It was early, far too early, yet there was no way she could possibly go back to sleep. Perils of an early night as she had been ushered to bed with a sleeping potion shortly after tackling a bean casserole. She wondered if Miss Hardbroom had awoken yet and strained her ears to see if she was pottering around downstairs, but there was only the faint sound of the wind howling on the windowpane.

She placed her slippers on her feet and grabbed her dressing gown before trying to muffle her footsteps as she made her way downstairs. The embers of Hecate's fire were long gone and Mildred only managed to get a mediocre flame flickering in its place. She looked about the room, eyes settling on the bookshelf in the corner that she had not had the chance to explore. Tomes of leather bound books, shelved neatly (and Mildred noticed - alphabetically) displaying all non-fiction titles that seemed long and far from exciting. As Mildred went to grab one that she thought sounded the least boring - 'Botany for the Botanist', she noticed that there was a book of some kind half-hidden and turned the wrong way next to it. Grabbing this, her hands grazed over a black leather padded thing, intricate patterns spiralling in embossed silver and tied shut with a silver ribbon.

It looked to be an album of some kind and with a rapidly beating heart Mildred opened it to the first page.

A black and white photograph of a woman - a smiling, tanned and shockingly beautiful woman with impossible cheekbones and dark eyes and hair.

Mildred felt a lump in her throat, and wished she had the self-discipline to place the album back in its hidden place, yet she felt entranced, engulfed, enthralled as she turned another page.

The woman again, this time with a pale bespectacled man that looked impossibly clever. Her diminutive next to his gangly height.

More and more pictures, Mildred ran her finger over them in awe. It had to be Miss Hardbroom's parents: The exact expression Miss Hardbroom pulled when unimpressed, that her mother had given the photographer when clearly not wanting to be photographed, somehow managing to look mesmorising. The rapt concentration of her father's face when photographed reading. The scenic shots with them staring with clear contentment at the natural beauty of the place they lived, of the woman carefully snipping stems of various herbs from the hillside, grinning winningly. It was Miss Hardbroom, Miss Hardbroom in different forms.

Hearing footsteps on the landing she placed the book back carefully. An almost bleary-eyed Miss Hardbroom entered the room, uncharacteristically still wearing long silken black pajamas and a matching embroidered woolen dressing gown. Mildred smiled warmly feeling like she knew the woman a little bit better.

"Morning Mildred," the woman said stiffly, clearly surprised to see Mildred up and about so early, her eyebrows narrowing at the book that Mildred had clearly just opened. It was unlike the girl to be studying without Hecate forcing her to.

"Morning Miss," Mildred said formally, sounding super innocent.

Hecate pulled her dressing gown tie around her tight frame still eyeing her slightly suspiciously, "I _suppose_ Mildred, that you should get used to calling me ' _Hecate_ ' in non-term time," she winced a little, as if the very idea of neglecting formality even after all they had been through was painful for her to suggest.

" _Hecate._." Mildred tried out. "Feels weird," she raised her brow gawkily.

Hecate rolled her eyes. "It was merely a suggestion...," she started defensively.

"N-no," Mildred stopped her, "It's right. It will just take some getting used to. Feels like that time back in first year where you caught me calling you 'HB' and made me write lines of ' I must use proper respect when addressing my superiors.'"

"You know, I'd quite forgotten about that," Hecate smirked rather dreamily.

"I'm glad you have," Mildred wrinkled her nose.

Hecate chortled. She looked again at the book Mildred was seemingly reading, "Botany Mildred?"

"I was finding some pictures to draw," Mildred lied convincingly.

Hecate nodded curtly in approval. "Once you are done, you can help me prepare breakfast."

xxx

"What are we making?" Mildred entered the kitchen. She had been expecting to see Miss Hardbroom (or Hecate - she reminded herself) now dressed, but the woman still had not got out of her nightclothes, her amazing hair hanging strangely tangled down her back.

"Pancakes," Hecate told her.

"Did I hear you say pancakes Hecate?" Pippa lounged in, looking weirdly disheveled herself, her golden locks lacking their usual bounce and her eyes strangely tired.

"That'll do the trick," Pippa smiled foggily. "Too much wine," she told Mildred under her breath.

"Pippa!" Hecate glared sternly.

Pippa shrugged before placing herself down at the kitchen table. "Holiday," she defended. "It's allowed.. Mildred's nearly of the age when she will be experiencing her first hangover. Hecate makes the best hangover potion," Pippa added, "Might actually have to steal some darling - huge headache!"

"I'll thank you not to encourage Mildred," Hecate pulled a disapproving face.

Mildred giggled.

"Do be a dove Millie and get me a glass of water," Pippa asked the girl beseechingly.

xxx

"Now add flour and whisk until a batter viscosity," Hecate told the girl. "No not like that - turn the jug at an angle."

"It's still too runny, more flour Mildred," Hecate passed her the container.

"I'm sure we agreed no lessons Hecate - you've lasted all of one night," Pippa laughed from the table.

"It's okay, it's fun Pippa," Mildred smiled at the blonde.

Pippa watched as Hecate somehow managed to disguise the smile that fell upon her face at Mildred's comment.

"A smidge more flour, Mildred."

"A _smidge_ \- is that a technical term?" Pippa laughed again. "Bit imprecise for a famous potion's mistress."

"Ignore Pippa please Mildred," Hecate tutted, "Potions need to be precise, you use your brain, but cooking comes from your heart."

"Half-Italian," Pippa giggled.

xxx

Pippa managed to control her comments about Hecate's teaching when Mildred managed to flip the pancakes in a blaze of colourful somersaults using the spell Hecate showed her. By the time it came to smothering the pancakes in fruit (Hecate had ignored Pippa's suggestion of syrup stating she did not want Mildred's teeth to rot) Mildred was more than happy to eat a couple.

"What are the plans for today?" the girl questioned once Hecate had vanished the plates and Pippa had gone upstairs to sort out her head with a long bath.

"Today we find our sacred oak, that we must burn throughout the winter solstice in order to banish any evil spirits that may linger in the darkness," Hecate told the girl. Mildred had always found that Miss Hardbroom had such a captivating quality to her voice whenever she spoke of witching traditions or anything to do with potions.

"Will any oak tree do?" Mildred asked wonderingly.

"Any tree?" Hecate did her best not to scoff. "Certainly not child! We must choose the tree that speaks to us on a spiritual level Mildred, and then ask permission from Duir and convince her of our worthiness to take one of her branches."

"Duir? The goddess of the forest?" Mildred asked, "Has she ever said no?"

"Never to me," Hecate said with a touch of pride.

xxx

"A warming spell," Hecate murmured as she fluted her hands over Mildred's cloak.

The two took the familiar path deep into the forest. Ice still upon the ground which crunched and caused Mildred to lose her step on a couple of occasions, "Careful," Hecate warned as she saw her clumsy pupil almost fall again.

Hecate had left her hair down which had been a huge surprise to Mildred, but it now tumbled in glossy waves that contrasted even more with her stark pallor in the frosted forest. She looked like an older Snow-White, Mildred thought. The lines on her face seemed more crinkled without the bun pulling it back, but they gave her face more of a contented look, despite her lips being pursed in solemn sensibility. It wasn't long before Mildred found herself being almost left behind in Hecate's haste.

"Do hurry up Mildred," Hecate tutted.

"I'm trying," Mildred mumbled, doing her best to navigate the frozen branches camouflaged by white. She slipped as a branch snapped under foot, landing on her bottom.

Hecate was there in an instant, "Are you hurt?" she asked pointedly, pulling Mildred up with a gloved hand.

"No," Mildred ascertained, "I don't think so. My ankle feels a little sore though."

Hecate nodded. " _Honestly_ girl, your clumsiness has to be something you grow out of soon. I haven't any healing balm on me that will work for a sprain - do you need transferring back?"

" _No_!" Mildred practically shouted, "It's my first Yule - I'm not missing this," she added.

She determinedly limped forward, wincing slightly. Hecate rolled her eyes before placing her arms onto Mildred's shoulder so that the girl could use her as an anchor. "I cannot transfer us into the clearing Mildred - the ground will be uneven and you might cause more damage to your ankle."

Mildred felt the sudden heat of the woman next to her, strong arms that were now taking some of Mildred's weight. "Thanks HB," she smirked.

"It is a good job you are presently incapacitated Mildred," Hecate raised her brow. "We agreed Hecate," she reminded her.

"HB just feels more natural," Mildred giggled.

"Did you hit your head?" Hecate sighed wearily.

xxx

They made it into the clearing. Mildred was relieved, knowing that Miss Hardbroom was much more out of breath than she was letting on.

Once again Mildred was reminded of what a mesmerizing place it was, even hushed with the compacted water from the stream no longer rushing, and the birds no longer tweeting their beautiful songs.

Oak trees formed a circle around the place: Tall, magnificent and glorious even with their branches bare.

"How do we know?" Mildred asked, spinning in a circle that caused Hecate to grab her lest she fell again.

"There's no _wrong_ choice," Hecate told her firmly, "Only a choice."

Mildred nodded, brow furrowed. "That one," she decided firmly, "It has the most branches, so it won't be as bad if we take one?"

Hecate smiled softly at Mildred kind-hearted response. "That one it is," she said as the two began to approach one of the largest trees.

"Observe carefully Mildred - for next year I might let you do the summoning!" Hecate threatened with a smirk.

" ** _Sing for the oak tree  
The Monarch of the wood;  
Sing for the oak tree  
That groweth broad and good;_**

 ** _Duir, Goddess of all dear;_**

 ** _Duir, I summon thee here!"_**

Mildred shot Hecate a look of puzzlement when nothing happened, when the tree continued to sway in the breeze. Surely Miss Hardbroom's magic had worked? It always did?

" _Mildred Hubble_ ," A voice on the wind whispered in Mildred's ear. "Our first time meeting..."

"Duir?" Mildred questioned in her thoughts. She looked at Hecate, but the woman seemed entranced, her face solemn as if she were having her own private conversation. She probably is, Mildred realised.

"You're a quick-witted one Mildred Hubble," the voice said rather fondly. "You are here, alongside Hecate Hardbroom to request one of my branches to burn in this dark time? To banish the darkness in these darkest of days?"

"Yes," Mildred acknowledged.

"You've had a year which has been dark at times. You are finally seeing the light," Duir told her. "Burn my branch, and remember the goodness you have within you - a goodness that I require you to share... Particularly with those that have helped you to find the path..."

Mildred nodded, "I will.. I promise."

xxx

Hecate didn't ask what the goddess had said to Mildred, as if the conversation were too sacred to share. Mildred felt thankful for that, she needed time to let Duir's comments sink in before she discussed them. She did wonder though - what Duir had said to Hecate, for the woman was even more business-like than usual as she transferred them back to the cottage, ensuring Mildred landed carefully on the sofa.

Hecate magically tied her hair back into its smooth bun as she began to briskly dab some balm on Mildred's now slightly swelling ankle. She massaged the bone, ignoring Mildred's whimpers of pain. "Better?" she queried.

"Yes," Mildred said to her surprise, the pain had suddenly gone and she could move her ankle around in careful movements.

"Oh what happened?" Pippa came into the room, looking entirely back to her glorious self with fresh bouncy curls.

"My ankle, " Mildred told her, "It's fixed though now," she smiled.

"Oh Millie!" Pippa laughed, "How did you fare with Duir?" she asked.

"She fared remarkably well," Hecate cut in, "We managed to secure part of one of the strongest branches on the tree.. She must have taken a liking to Mildred," she added matter-of-factly.

Mildred's face lit up happily.

xxx

"You should have come with us Pips," Hecate told her.

"It just felt like something you needed to do together for the first time," Pippa explained. "I'm sure there will be many more Yules to come."

"You're remarkably selfless Pippa," Hecate shook her head disbelievingly.

"So anyway.." Pippa grabbed Hecate and stirred her towards the kitchen table, "You've yet to tell me what Duir said to you this year!"

Hecate smiled a little, Pippa thought it almost whimsically.

"She was... pleased.. with me," Hecate told her.

"She's always been pleased with you Hiccup."

"More so than usual... Mildred.." she explained.

" _Momma Hiccup_ getting extra brownie points with the Mother of Earth?" Pippa feigned being shocked.

"She told me that Mildred's a very special witch.. Said that I'm finally fulfilling my destiny - that it is my _fate_ to guide her, to protect her - even from herself. _She said that she will help me to further heal_..." Hecate looked imploring at Pippa, who gazed wonderingly back with her doe-eyed stare.

"That's a big deal Hiccup.. Duir rarely watches with that much interest.." Pippa told her.

"She spoke of you too," Hecate admitted. "Told me that all the deities approve. So that I shouldn't be afraid of mere witches judging.

Pippa enveloped her hand onto Hecate's, a grin across her beautiful face.

"Judge me - I'm all yours," Pippa squeezed tightly.

xxx


End file.
